Archives for Depression

Depression

10 Things to Say to a Loved One Who Struggles with Depression

If you’ve ever been depressed, you know that awful feeling when well meaning people give advice that simply makes things worse.

There are lots of blogs that talk about what not to say to someone who is depressed.

Here are 10 positive things to say to help.

I’m sorry you’re struggling, and wish I could make it better for you. This phrase doesn’t imply that you understand what they’re going through or that they need to do something. It...
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Depression

True Greatness: The Pain of Hidden Illness


I had a very good friend named Mary who suffered from a disease called Lupus.

Lupus can be a mild disease, or it can be horrific and fatal. It can go from mild to severe, back to mild again.

My friend was very sick, and we’d often talk about how she looked fine on the outside, but her body was waging war on itself.

She was yelled at for parking in a handicapped space although she could barely...
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Depression

Sadness or Depression? Recognizing Mental Illness in Tweens and Teens

Kids carry around a ton of emotion.
As infants, they communicate with cries, screams, and eventually smiles and laughter.
Toddlers grow and begin to use spoken language in addition to laughter, hugs, biting, hitting, and crying.
The childhood years are generally calm. A second grader has not yet entered the emotional turmoil of the teen or preteen years, and has increased social skills that they didn't have as a toddler...
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Depression

Mourning Robin Williams: The Tragedy of Suicide


I'm not one for celebrity gossip.

For the most part, I'm content to let the stars of Hollywood live out their drama in their own world of fame. There are very few actors whose lives I pay attention to, or whose deaths I truly mourn.

Robin Williams is one of the them.

And tonight I am saddened. I am grieved by the death of a man who made his living through his expression of joy and laughter, who...
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Depression

10 Simple Ways to Beat the Blues

There are some days you just feel down. Sometimes you know why: a fight with a friend or spouse, financial troubles, difficulty with your kids. Other times a low mood can come out of nowhere.

But however or whenever these blue days come, it can make the entire day seem like one big long struggle to get through.

You may find yourself watching the clock, just hoping to get done with work or school, or waiting for...
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anxiety

Transform Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic.

Everyone has one.

Most people want to shut up, destroy, annihilate, or otherwise quiet that voice in their head that says things like, that was a stupid thing to say, or you look so fat today, you're dumb, you'll never get anywhere in life. I'm sure you can add your own.

Your inner critic is the voice that monitors your every act, word, and thought.

When it's out of control, your inner critic can rule your...
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Abuse

The Newest Face of Trauma: Female Veterans


"Jessica" (pseudonym) was 18 years old when she enlisted in the Army. She was trained as a mechanic, and enjoyed what she did.

The Army provided her the family she didn't have at home and a sense of belonging and stability. At the time, the United States was not engaged in a war. A year later, this would change.

Jessica was sent to Afghanistan. While there, she was injured when the truck she was driving hit an IED. After her body healed, and she continued in her unit. Like all service people who serve in a war, Jessica saw and experienced many horrific things.

After her time in Afghanistan ended and she was back in the US, Jessica's body wasn't the same. She had an undiagnosed TBI (traumatic brain injury) from the IED. She had intense mood swings. She couldn't concentrate. She had nightmares nearly every night.

These were all problems that Jessica felt like she could talk about with other veterans, friends and family. Things like TBI and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) have become well known and understood.

What Jessica didn't feel like she could talk about was the rape by her commanding officer, the very person in the chain of command she was expected to report sexual assault to, and who she looked up to like a father.
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anxiety

The Importance of Connection, Part 1: How to Get and Stay Connected


When I first became a bird owner, I noticed that my cockatiel Sunshine would only eat when someone was near her.

Most birds are flock animals; they rely on the members of their community for companionship, safety, and parenting.

In the wild, Sunshine would only eat with her flock members there to watch out for her.

Like many other animals, humans have an inborn need for community that is crucial to not only our survival but also to our mental health and happiness.

Not everyone needs 40 friends, but everyone needs someone they can rely on to help them through the harshness of life.

WHAT KEEPS US FROM BEING CONNECTED TO OTHERS?

For some people, it's depression. One of the key signs of depression is withdrawing from social situations. People who become depressed turn down invitations, fail to show up to gatherings, and limit phone calls and visits with friends.
Other times, it can be a change in life -- a move, divorce, death in the family, or illness. Many adults I've spoken to have said that when they graduated from high school or college they found they had a hard time making new friends in the 'adult' or working world.
Many people are so afraid of rejection that they stay away from getting close to others.
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Abuse

Bad Relationship Advice: Our Top 10 List


There is a lot of relationship advice out there; friends, family, and coworkers are willing and eager to share their thoughts.

Over the years, I've heard and read some awful pieces of advice.

Here are the worst of them.

10. If you love her enough, you can get her to change.

ANY advice that has 'change' in it is bad news. You can't make anyone change, and if you expect them to you'll be met not only with resistance and frustration, but failure.

9. No one will ever love you as much as he does.

This is a phrase that is often used to keep an individual in an abusive relationship. Love comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It might be true that no one will ever love you exactly like someone else,  you will be loved again. Don't allow this bad advice to keep you stuck in a harmful relationship.
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