Have you ever had a moment when things are going relatively smoothly, then something small happens and your whole world is turned upside down?

Often we think that big problems come from big incidents: your spouse divorces you and you become depressed, your house burns down and you have nightmares for weeks, you fight in a war and have PTSD.

But trauma doesn’t fit so neatly into a box.

Some people experience severe trauma with very few lasting side-effects; others go through what many would consider a minor trauma and it has a significant, life-changing impact. So what’s going on?

Have you ever felt like the car you were in was rolling backwards, only to realize that your car was actually still, but the car next to you was moving forward?

You inadvertently judged your own movement based not on what was truly happening, but on what your mind thought was happening.

Sometimes what we see, experience, and believe is not completely valid or true. Like an optical illusion where what the eye sees isn’t accurate, it can be difficult to gain a correct perspective at times.

Here are some questions to consider when trying to gain a better understanding of the accuracy of your experience.

What would you say defines a difficult person? Is it someone who gossips? A supervisor who criticizes you in front of coworkers? A mother-in-law who disregards your request to not smoke in front of your toddler?

Difficult people are everywhere: at work, in social groups, volunteer organizations, the library, and playgrounds. They’re our neighbors, relatives, coworkers and friends.

I’m pretty sure that each of us knows a person who we consider difficult, and I’m also fairly certain that each of us has been considered difficult by someone else. We all have our own definition of who or what a difficult person is.  A behavior that makes one person furious can be perfectly acceptable to another.

Here are five easy tips for dealing with difficult people. Not every tip is right for every situation or person. Feel free to add tips that have worked well for you!

How many times have you complained that there are just not enough hours in the day to do what you need to, or wondered in frustration how the afternoon managed to slip by?

Each person has 24 hours in a day to spend. A certain amount of that is for the basics – sleeping, eating, bathing, dressing. But after those hours are spent, the rest of how you use the time is really up to you.

Throughout the day, you make choices – how long to read Facebook, or how many TV shows to watch, if you take your child to the park, or spend 15 minutes talking with your partner about their day, or weed the garden.

These little bits of time may seem insignificant. After all, how many people add up the minutes they spend online, or consider the small bits of time you use talking to your coworkers, or the time spent cuddling a crying child or loving an animal?

But these small bits are where the time that seems to get away from you goes. It doesn’t disappear. It is used, but often forgotten.

One of the most common problems in relationships is communication. And while some people struggle with being able to talk about their problem, often the main issue is ineffective listening.

When you have a problem that you want to bring up with someone else, or if they bring up an issue to you, there are ways to make the conversation go smoothly.

Learning how to listen is a skill that can be used in every relationship, be it your child, spouse, best friend, or even your neighbor. Using these skills may feel artificial or fake at first, but as you practice them more, and see them working, it will soon become second nature.

Being nice is a great quality to have. The world could definitely use more kindness and generosity.

But there are times when you can have too much of a good thing. There is such a thing as being too nice. People who are too nice end up agreeing to do things they really don’t want to do. They sacrifice independence for a false sense of safety and belonging.

Here are three characteristics of people who take niceness to the extreme.

Grief is a natural, common occurrence to loss. Here are 8 things that are important to recognize about grief.

1. Everyone experiences it in different ways, and no way is better than the other. Some people are vocal and express their grief through cries or screams. Some people grieve quietly. Some people need outside comfort and seek to be around others, while other people need solitude and time to work out their sorrow alone.
2. When an abuser dies, the person he or she hurt can experience complicated and distressing feelings. There may be guilt, or relief, or even joy. Often sadness is felt in the midst of a storm of other emotions. Flashbacks or memories may come up. If this happens, going to therapy can be helpful.
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Have you ever felt your emotions getting out of control, and later wondered why?  Maybe you became completely enraged when you found out that your child lied to you. Or when your spouse forgot about your lunch date, you felt rejected and unloved?

At times, the level and intensity of a person’s reaction doesn’t match the level and intensity of the event. It’s completely normal and expected for children to lie at times. People who love each other forget about lunch dates, anniversaries, and birthdays.  But sometimes things happen that feel much bigger than they really are.

Often these feelings come from experiences in childhood. In the moment, it can feel as if you’re reacting not like an adult, but a fearful, angry, or scared child. This is emotional baggage.

When you think of bullying, what comes to mind? Elementary school? The pack of big kids who hung around at the park and wouldn’t let you play basketball? The huge 8th grader who stole your money?

When most people think about bullying, they think of a time in their lives when they were growing up. They think of the past.

Like many problems that exist throughout life, bullying doesn’t end at a certain age or level of maturity. Bullying does exist in adulthood. Sometimes it looks different or is called by different names: sexual harassment, stalking, workplace aggression, or scapegoating. But, like in childhood, bullying is one person controlling or harming someone else by use of power.

Bullying is harmful. In the workplace, it can lead to job loss. It can break up friendships and alienate family members. It can occur in person or online through Facebook, internet groups, or email. It can happen through texting.

Although someone who is bullied may feel powerless, there are things can be done to effectively deal with bullies.