Here was what he wrote – mind you this email came two weeks after I was supposed to pick him up.
[Note: he must have written this email on a phone, as it is filled with spelling and grammar mistakes.]
“I start off by telling you I am sorry. My ex was also at the welcome home. I looked for you, but she found me first. She is very angry, and threatened to make a big scene, so I left with her to diffuse the situation. I didn’t expect you, so I didn’t think it was an issue. I don’t expect u to believe anything I say, just wanted to end the mystery. You r a talented and beautiful lady. It is my loss.”
Seriously? Seriously! Receiving this email was more emotionally disturbing to me than the actual night when he disappeared. I guess I was in shock that night, numb to any emotion except devastation. In the two intervening weeks I had time to process what happened and came to the conclusion that he had some sort of mental break own and couldn’t deal with being home and confronting me.
The actual explanation was more frustrating and maddening than what I had thought. I was fuming – practically steaming out my ears – as I read the email.
I have many of issues with what he told me. First, why was his ex-wife there? Granted the “welcome home” information was on the news so she could have heard about it that way – but now I’m wondering whether or not he had been communicating with her all along. Why would a woman who has been divorced for two years attend her ex’s homecoming ceremony? From what Frank had told me, their separation had been pretty rough.
I call “bullshit” on him saying, “I didn’t expect you, so I didn’t think it was an issue.” That’s a lie because just six hours earlier I had emailed asking if I could come and get him, and he had responded “yes.”
He completely contradicts himself in the email, as he said he looked for me – then saying he wasn’t expecting me. What an ass! I also want to know why his ex-wife was angry and threatening to create a scene if he didn’t tell her I was coming. What a coward! How selfish can he be? If he really loved me, if he had intended to follow through on his desire to be a part of my life, he would have told her to ‘get lost’ and would have found his way to me.
I also have a big issue with the fact that it took him two weeks and several emails from me to his sister in order for him to actually write to me. I really have no more words to describe how disappointed and betrayed I feel.
The really weird part about this is that about two weeks before the homecoming I had a dream that I was at the ceremony and looking for him. In the dream, I saw him across the room and he was hugging his ex. Our eyes locked across the room – him with a forlorn look, me seething with anger and disappointment. How’s that for irony?!
At least someone ‘upstairs’ was looking out for me and in reality I was spared the anguish of seeing that. The weird thing about it all is the night of the homecoming I was actually probably within 20 feet of their reunion while I was looking for him. So strange. If I wrote this as a screenplay people would think it was too fantastical to even play as a fictional Lifetime Movie.
Needless to say I didn’t let his email go unanswered. I let loose in a stream-of-consciousness email – writing solidly for about 10 minutes – letting my emotions out – giving him a written tongue lashing about the crappy way he treated me. And as you can probably guess, it’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him.
This whole situation has made me evaluate the way I “select” men. I’m obviously not listening to my inner-voice that says, “Hmm, I don’t think so.” When there appears to be a spark, I try to play it out and see what happens. However, I need to stop being so ‘nice’ about giving people second chances and start taking a chance on me.
Oh, yeah … P.S. to Frank: you’re damn right it’s your loss. I deserve a lot better than you – you crazy, lying, selfish bastard.
Angry woman photo available from Shutterstock.
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Last reviewed: 7 Mar 2012