Prince sang: “I would die 4 U” and the Gingerbread man (yes, Gingerbread man:) sang: “Run, run, run as fast as you can. You’ll never catch me I’m the Gingerbread man. He trusted the fox to help his plan and that was the end of the Gingerbread man.“~by Shauna Tominey (www.storytimesongs.com)

“Let me help you. I’m your friend. I can take you away from all this. Hop on my tail and I’ll take you across the river.” So the Gingerbread man jumped onto the fox’s tail. A while later, the fox said-”Jump onto my back. I’m sinking, you don’t want to get wet.”  So the Gingerbread man jumped onto the fox’s back. A while later, the fox said, ‘Jump onto my head. I’m sinking, you don’t want to get wet.’ So the Gingerbread man jumped onto the fox’s head. Finally, the fox flicked the Gingerbread man up in the air, opened his mouth and gobbled him up with his sharp, sharp teeth. When he was done he laughed and licked his lips. Gingerbread, gingerbread that’s stuff for me. Gingerbread, gingerbread I’ve had some for my tea.” ~The Story Museum “Gingerbread Man”

i “would” die “for” You! (if You want me to) Would you die for me, too?! (Think about it! I’ll get back to that in a few…a few words or so. Besides, your answer “would” depend on your view of death…oh and life, too and your view of me and you, (relationships in general)…and whether or not you eat (or are tempted by) gingerbread-lol:)

Do you run away from problems/challenges or face them/endure them /resolve them? Who do You trust as “friend”? Who do you trust for guidance/help? (It’s a lonely life with no one to trust.)

Would your “friend” die for You or gobble You up when sinking?!

Yeah, you may be “thinking” who is this chick and WHY is she asking such (life/death) question(s)??? Where is this post headed?? Read on/find out. (Though, not sure if i can round out this topic in 1 post or not?) All i can do …

1313 aka 1.3.13 aka January 3, 2013…

A “Bird’s Opening” for this new post:

1: Poem (discussed with my 3 daughters):

Not in Vain~by Emily Dickinson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain:

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or Cool one pain,

Or help one fainting Robin

unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain

3: Corny jokes that made my daughters and me chuckle:

photo credit 2: quaggas_camera photo credit 1: k8southern

What does an educated Owl say?

WHOM!:)

What is a polygon?

A missing Parrot!:)

What’s the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?

One sells watches and the other watches cells. (cute play on words)

~Everyday Fun Games and Cards by Brighter Child

13:  Writings by Poet/Wise-King Solomon, (i shared w/my kids):

“Happy is the man that has found wisdom, and the man that gets discernment, for having it as gain is better than having silver as gain and having it as produce than gold itself. It is more precious than corals, and all other delights of yours cannot be made equal to it. Length of days is in its right hand; in its left hand there are riches and glory. Its ways are ways of pleasantness, and all its roadways are peace. It is a tree of life to those taking hold of it, and those keeping fast hold of it are to be called happy.” (Proverb 3:13…14,15, 16, 17)

“A Wise person will listen and take in more instruction, and a man of understanding is the one who acquires skillful direction, to understand a proverb and a puzzling saying, the words of wise persons and their riddles.” (Proverb 1:5,6)

“Do not say to your fellowman: “Go, and come back and tomorrow I shall give,” when there is something with you.” (Proverb 3:28)

“Go to the ant, you lazy one; see its ways and become wise. Although it has no commander, officer or …

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Are you in? Are you out? Inside?! Outside?! Are you an insider? or an outsider?

(Who likes being left out? excluded, an outsider, shunned?) Being an outsider is not an easy life, eh? Everybody “needs” to belong, right?

Choices. Are you “in” formed? in the know or not…out. In and out. Either you’re inside or you’re outside. Though, one could have one foot in and one foot out…(nope, not dancing the hokey pokey-lol:)

With one foot in and one foot out…what can you accomplish?! What are you accomplishing as a Partner, Caregiver, Person, Friend? Without unity of two feet heading in the same direction…how do you stand on stable ground? how do you walk? how do you progress forward? Tripping over two left feet, won’t get you very far…or limping on two different opinions?…indecisive, vacillating like an oscillating fan.

Are you an oscillating fan?? Or a ceiling fan?! Spinning around in circles?…moving air not much else; other than dust particles clouding your vision and scratching your cornea–OUCH! (yes, have had “literal” cornea issues before and almost went blind in one eye…topic for another post, perhaps?) Enough small talk…big talk next:

photo credit: StockMonkeys.com photo credit: Thompson Rivers

Around the world billions of people every second are making decisions big and small: informed or uninformed, blind or insightful (depending on your point of view). Do you make informed (educated) decisions? (dumb question, eh?) Everybody thinks, believes (has faith) they make well-informed decisions! We all make decisions/choices based on our “individual” education/awareness and appreciation, sight, knowledge…let’s hope it runs deep…and not shallow!

Does your knowledge run deep? Do you make “wise” long-sighted or short-sighted choices?! Some make patient choices. Others make impatient choices. Some make compassionate choices, some don’t. Personally, i’m working on making more patient, compassionate, long-sighted choices big and small.

“And I proceeded to …

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In art theory: 12 basic hues belong to the color wheel: 3 primary, 3 secondary, 6 tertiary…the whole wheel is beautiful, eh?! THANKS to my Readers & fellow Bloggers here @ Psych Central!:)

Partners in Wellness w/jw: 12 Posts in Review for 2012:

12 hues that flew into my field of vision! (Did they fly into yours?:)

2 Keys to Happier Relationships & Partnerships

Got Lemons, Now What?

Who’s in Your Heart?

Forgiveness Fixes: How to Let Go of the Negative and Repair Relationships

Extreme Behavior Emergency Survival Kit

Partners in Wellness: Appreciated, Part 2: Relief and Understanding

No Excuses – Empathy Needed

Women deserve DIGNITY not discrimination!

Climbing Your Mountain/Reaching Your Goal: 4 Tips!

3 Tips for Dealing with Disappointment and Discouragement

Corruption Perception Index: How do You Rank?

Chocolate Genius

Stop? Don’t Stop? (self-control essential!) Your choice! Should walls be white? Should walls be colored? How about both? Do you color on walls? Do you let your kids color on walls?? Please consider the consequences of Stop! or Don’t Stop!:)

May be, you only color in predetermined lines and spaces? May be, you color outside the lines? Are you color-blind? or wall-blind? or line-blind? or boundary-blind? Actually, boundaries do serve as protections!

Compassion adapts to all those variables…blind to lines, blind to …

Dr. Stephen Bavolek writes, “[C]ontemporary social scientists agree that the continued maltreatment of children today is primarily the result of poorly trained adults who, in their roles as parents and caretakers, attempt to instill discipline and educate children within the context of the violence they themselves experienced as children.”

I would expand by adding: parents and caretakers attempt (try their best with what they have) to care for/communicate/educate their children within the context of their personal compassion (love) literacy (or lack thereof) and compassion education (or lack thereof) they themselves experienced as: children/teens/time (life experience with or without compassion in varying degrees) before parenthood.

Same can be said for religious/spiritual literacy and education, ethnic/cultural literacy and education, ethic literacy and education,  morality literacy and education, tolerance literacy and education, academic literacy and education, etc….you get the picture?

Disturbing Statistics from www.childhelp.org

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.2
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. 1
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. 3
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. 4
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. 5
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 5
• The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion. 6
  

• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. 7
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 7
• Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent …
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“How can I Help You?” “Thank You” “Your Welcome” “Sorry” “I Forgive You” “I Love You” “It’ll be alright” “I’m Here for You” “I do!”…what seeds (deeds/words) are you sowing today?!

All of the above? Some of the above?…

Wonderful–Your seed sprinkling will reap positive results!:)

THANKS for being a Caregiver, Friend, Partner, Parent, Person who is an:

*Open Mind: Think!

*Open Heart: Feel!

*Open Mouth: Speak!

*Open Hand: Give!

*Open Eye: See!

*Open Foot: Walk!

 
Think it, feel it, speak it, give it, see it, walk it: Live Love!:)

  photo credit: Serenae photo credit: Phil (darth_philburt)

Have you thought about it: what seeds are politics and religion sowing? Seeds of love or seeds of greed? Seeds of war or seeds of peace? Seeds of unity or seeds of division?

“In many lands, predominant religions have become symbols of patriotic and racial identities. As a result, the lines between nationalistic hatred, racial prejudice, ethnic rivalry, and religious enmity are virtually indistinguishable. This explosive cocktail has the necessary ingredients to tear our world apart.” ~excerpt from article:The Problem with Religion

“Religion seems to be connected with violence virtually everywhere…In recent years, religious violence has erupted among right-wing Christians in the US, angry Muslims and Jews in the Middle East, quarrelling Hindus and Muslims in South Asia, and indigenous religious communities in Africa and Indonesia…The individuals involved in these cases have relied on religion to provide political identities and give license to vengeful ideologies.”-Terror in the Mind of God-The Global Rise of Religious Violence.

Politics (government) and religion are in bed together making war and making money. (But,they’re really loveless and poor.)

Dutch Philosopher Floris van den Berg recommends: “Let’s make the world a better place. Let’s get rid of …

Thanks for joining me for our Compassion Conversation 2. To bring You up to speed, have you read 1 Compassion Conversation yet?…

The limbic (meaning “ring”) system is located in the forebrain and is virtually identical in all mammals. It sits just above the brain stem, with the two structures somewhat resembling a bagel with a finger (the brain stem) passing through it. This “system” is not composed of a single large brain structure. Instead, the limbic system is comprised of a large group of complex and oddly shaped smaller structures surrounding the upper portion of the brain stem. Each structure has an immense number of critically important circuits linking them to one another and to the cerebral cortex. These interconnected structures are intimately associated with our basic drives, bodily temperature control, hormone production, and emotions.~Brain Basics for the Teaching Professional by Kenneth A. Wesson

We discussed in our previous compassion conversation the role our limbic system plays in assigning emotional priority to auditory input and how our desire(s) determines our listening. Basically, we listen (pay attention/heed) to what we “want” to hear–what has Top Emotional Priority to us individually.

To examine our listening skills, perhaps, we should examine our emotional priorities?! Because listening is learning and unless we can broaden our emotional priority (to include concern for others)…our learning (i.e. compassion) and listening will be limited at best.

Are our desires selfish? Unselfish? For example, if #1 (me) is my top emotional priority then i listen/pay attention/learn and/or practice what will benefit #1! or if my top emotional priority is unselfish and/or concern for other fragile-breathing life…i listen (pay attention and learn and/or practice) what will benefit not just myself, but all breathing-fragile life!

This #1 talk reminds me of an old joke a friend told–let’s see if i don’t mess it up: “When you’re looking out for #1, you’ll step in #2!”

Who likes words/thoughts/behaviors/patterns that degrade and strip us or others of dignity and respect?! Compassion conversation is the usage of words that are thoughtful, non-offensive, a uniting language …

As one grows, learns, develops, changes…so does one’s language. From mumbling to baby talk to lecturing. *It’s always in a state of flux as are we.

[*language/speech/communication/conversation]

As Caregivers and Partners, breathing-fragile life, we use a specific, particular set of words and vocabulary to aid/help other breathing-fragile life. How wide or cramped is your “caregiver” vocabulary? (Caregivers should speak compassion!:) How fluent or fluid is your compassion conversation??

Thoughts, words, speech, language, communication…obviously, interest me much as a talker!:) (If you wish, you can check out my previous posts: A Leader’s Language: Are You Fluent? or A Compassionate Caregiver Cries)

Talking is one means of learning. Listening is probably a better way of learning! Yeah, you’re correct, I need to listen more, eh?

Researchers have found that while the limbic system of our brain helps us focus on one thing while sustaining ability to hear various sounds–differentiating between many sounds becomes difficult when it involves simultaneously listening to human speech. When 2 voices compete for your ear to whom do you listen?!

  photo credit: ScoRDS photo credit 1: mavnjess

I read this eye-opener point or rather ear-opener: “What we desire influences the way we hear!”  What do you desire? We select the speech we listen to/focus on depending on which one (person) we “want” to hear!

Do you pay attention?…

Part of our regulatory auditory mechanism, which tunes and de-tunes our attention process, is the limbic system. It is responsible for assigning more or less attention to a given auditory input. So, if there are multiple auditory inputs, the input most relevant to our conscious and subconscious mechanism receives top priority. When the limbic system detects new and/or more relevant information, it passes …

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Gratitude: a year-round attitude!:) One does not need a “specific” day or “time” to limit their expressions of appreciation and thanks! Gratitude is a way of life that brings benefits to: day-long, month-long, year-long, life-long living and giving!:)

Professor Robert Emmons, of the University of California at Davis, says: “Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress, and to achieve a positive sense of self.”

Time magazine highlights something else: “People who describe themselves as feeling grateful . . . tend to have higher vitality and more optimism, suffer less stress, and experience fewer episodes of clinical depression than the population as a whole.”

Everyday one can find many reasons to give “THANKS!” Personally, for me, I’m choosing not to let certain traditions, national pressure (and/or) peer/family pressure dictate what I eat and when or when I give and what or when I say Thanks and why.

How would you measure your depth of Gratitude? Check this out from:  Professor Robert Emmons & Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami:

MEASURING GRATITUDE

“Much of our initial work on gratitude has been devoted to examining the disposition to experience gratitude as a relatively stable affective trait. To measure this affective trait, we have developed a short scale called the Gratitude Questionnaire, whose current incarnation consists of six short self-report items. The GQ-6 is available here for download in PDF format. This document includes some interpretative material that allows one to determine where a person’s score on the GQ-6 falls relative to a large sample of adults who recently completed the measure. Finally, this short technical document describes the psychometric properties of the scale, including some of the most important evidence for its reliability and validity.”

Appreciation and gratitude must be cultivated and grown. As a parent, i strive to set a “Gratitude Attitude” example for my kids. THANKS …