parenting Articles

Parenting in Wellness (Part 1)

Saturday, February 15th, 2014

shutterstock_102815882Being a Partner in Wellness is no easy task. Being a Parent in Wellness is no easy task!

(For related context, please read: LOVE: a 4 Letter Word Mothers (Should) Use!)

Any TRULY WORTHWHILE COMPASSIONATE Endeavor is no easy task!:)

Let me preface this post by openly acknowledging: I highly value Education. I highly value Literacy. I highly value Teachers. I highly value the Classroom. (THANK YOU TO ALL TEACHERS working very hard to educate! Where would any of us be without your love, dedication and hard work. We would be no where well.)

Over the years, the notion of  literacy has evolved. The conventional concept limited to reading, writing and numeracy skills is still in wide use, as well as the notion of functional literacy which links literacy with socio-economic development. But other ways of understanding “literacy” or “literacies” have emerged to address the diverse learning needs  of individuals in knowledge-oriented and globalized societies.

A superlative education (in my view) involves *agape (unselfish) love literacy as well as compassion literacy.

*Here is 1 description of the Greek term Agape Love contrasted with Phileo Love:

“The definition of agápe, as given in Strong’s concordance, contrasts it with the verb philéo, which is affection as for friends. Then it says that philéo is “chiefly of the heart,” but agápe chiefly “of the head,” and defines agápe as, “the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety.” “So it is love based on principle, involving primarily the mind, not one’s emotions. It may or may not include affection and fondness. It is not unfeeling and cold. Yet it is not ruled by feeling or sentiment, but is guided or governed by principle.”

I also understand agape application to mean: a person does good (well) to the object of his love because it is the right (correct) and (well) good (unselfish) thing to do.

This superlative agape education (literacy) equips us to make sound, logical, intelligent, evidence-based, compassionate, non-selfish decisions that …

Rocking On

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

shutterstock_145795847My last post: Sick of Numbers? leads me to (now): Sick of Crunchers?! For clarity: not talking accountants.

(Warning: this post is kinda…no, i’ll own it: an emotional rant of frustration and exhaustion.)

Crunchers?? You know! 7 ate 9! munch, munch munch or attempting to crunch crunch, crunch…and not talking lunch!-lol:)

Yeah, i can laugh a little (at my situation).

I’d like to rock down to: “E”..lectric Avenue!”  E = Escape!

I’m just sorta tired/sick of having to survive/function/(keep compassion integrity) among (some)…(who act like)

narrow-minded, self-saving, appearance-judging, power-junkies…that are suppose to serve/help and/or educate the underdog aka lead with their so-called “expertise” or “title” they’ve so-called earned in their given field and yet…

their “concrete” mission is to mercilessly crunch/kill/put out of commission anyone w/a far-sighted abstraction or blind anyone with clear, 20-20 vision!:(

(Some don’t like 20-20 vision that puts c-o-r-r-u-p-t-i-o-n in a not-so-nice light, eh? Not a pretty sight? those filling up their pockets full when kids’ bellies are empty!)

Their seeing ain’t seeing. How do (non-compassionate) corrupted eyes look/wear compassion (pure) glasses?!

Also, life can be tough/frustrating for the sensitive in skirts (or pants).

Cause you’re in a skirt (a woman), and talk sweet…some “think” they can crunch/stomp you with their big-bully feet!

Cause you’re meek and don’t flaunt say:

your knowledge, your know-how, (your gadgets) or your job description (which btw: is not anyone’s actual worth description!)…i shouldn’t care IF these “crunchers” think i’m (brain) limited or stupid! and don’t know ANY logic(s)/number(s) whatsoever… (cause i care about process and not just performance)

and it seems…like

All they want to do is hold onto “their job”/i mean pay check…when they don’t know (understand) what their job/value/pay REALLY is!

Is it me and my value/vocabulary system? i thought “priceless” and “worthless” are not interchangeable??!

They’re looking condescendingly…cause they got the latest toys (calculators)..and can whoop it up and make some, that makes them tough to beat aka as “the” winner??…ya, right!  (OOPS! sorry, THANKS for the reminder: i am working on NOT being sarcastic!;)

Actually, …

Honoring the Duty of Compassion

Friday, November 15th, 2013

shutterstock_116561050(2)“Uh-Huh! Oh-Yeah! I’m off the hook! Oh YEAH! Oh YEAH!”

“Uh-Huh! Oh-yeah! I’m off the hook, Oh YEAH, Oh YEAH!”

Explanation: a little victory song by juror #722. Good thing You can’t see my goofy dance! -lol

What a relief: big SIGH! Yes, I was summoned for jury duty. Ended up being on standby all week and today, I’m off the hook (for now).

Honestly, I wanted to honor the summons, but hopefully not have to report! Last night when calling for my daily instructions and dress code (no shorts, no flip-flops, appropriate attire for court required) reminders, the juror numbers called to report for Friday were  jumping all over the place and got me nervous. When I hung up the phone, all I could do was the above-mentioned song and dance…(YAY#722 not needed–WOO-HOO)!:)

(Have You been called for jury duty?) Duty in one form or another calls everyday, eh?!

Compassion Duty calls me all the time -lol:) The dance of compassion is strange indeed.

Honoring the Duty of Compassion takes various forms in life.

Every day all of us have to make decisions or choices aka preferences or judgement calls of one sort or another. Personally, I don’t feel too comfortable or too adequate in the role of judging someone’s choices or actions. I’m not a mind reader, heart reader, motivation reader. (Nor do I feel the need for a power trip of lording/holding authority (and/or punishment) over somebody.)

Yes, I believe in Justice! (Yes, I believe in the superlative law of Agape love and the spirit of that law.) That living law is written on my heart and preoccupies my mind. (And I hope daily expressed in all my choices and interactions.) I bow to compassion.

We all pay in one way or another for our choices big and small including wise or poor decisions. (We pay now or later! We all owe. We are all in debt of some kind and to someone.)


You reap what you sow. You sow orange seeds…no big guess, you’re …

Dangerous Places: Movies, Malls & Classrooms?!

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

shutterstock_68629072(1)Danger and Horror have a way of deeply imprinting memories in our mind.

I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when…

rocking and nursing my (1 month) brand-new baby boy L-P. Usually, when engaged in this activity of privilege: feeding and comforting our baby, the TV was off! (Talking, singing, reading, music was on!)

However, this was not a usual day and for whatever unusual reason, the TV was on…so,

I heard the horrific Columbine massacre news!:(

L-P was crying and needing comfort and me, new mommy was crying and needing comfort!

(I remember finding solace in the notion of never bringing him to school and keeping him close. Plus, he was years away from that reality i.e. elementary school enrollment.)

Why the TV was on that day–don’t know, don’t remember. (Because I had made a resolve to NOT expose my baby/child to TV for, at least, the first two years of his life.)

Pretty much we succeeded in that…TV was not a steady diet. We/partners/parents still “attempt” to limit TV, media…but, like any important parenting endeavor: it’s not an easy daily battle.

Every parent needs to battle corrupting forces that can rob a child of his/her childhood or his/her life. 

It’s part of the parental job description: Preserving Your Child’s Innocence and Protecting their Fleeting Childhood! No one else will do it quite like you!

There are many: so-called fathers-priests/coaches, drug-dealers, big business targeting youth, the porn industry, on-line and off-line threats, and countless non-compassionate/violent elements ever ready to pounce…thereby taking/stealing your kid’s precious innocence and/or precious childhood away in a split second of inattentiveness or neglect.

WAKE UP PARENTS!…this is not the world you and I grew up in! Back in the day: there was at least facade of “safety”…now everything is hanging out in the open for all to see regardless of age. All the (global) dirty laundry isn’t hidden anymore.

Idiot parents are losing their beautiful babies to non-compassionate daycare operators who drug and OD babies on benadryl. SADLY, Puppy mills and baby mills exist.:(

(You can research the numbers of baby benadryl deaths on-line to see for yourself.) …

MC performed, but How would JC Act?! (Part 2)

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

shutterstock_141462232THANKS for joining me for Part deux (2).

Don’t You dislike being taken out of context? (I totally dislike being taken out of context!) So, Please read this first: MC performed, but How would JC Act?! (Part 1)

I prefer Justifiable Confidence over mc or Misplaced confidence any day!

How about You?

Remember, we learned in Part 1 to reason on the term “justifiable” as:

Just-IF-i-able…just IF i(‘ m) able or just IF I’m ABLE or: If I’m ABLE? I will Do Just! :)

Justifiable can be described as: able to be shown to be right or reasonable; defensible, valid, legitimate, warranted, well-founded, supportable, acceptable.

When mc (misplaced confidence) performs, it may be perfunctory in choices and/or mindlessly following the crowd; no matter which dangerous/unhealthy way it’s headed. However, certain “positive” traits help us find compass/conscience/stability and Justifiable Confidence:

For example, loyalty is a quality to admire/appreciate/apply/try to emulate.  A doggie: man’s loyal companion…man’s best friend, eh?! Don’t most of us value loyalty in our friends, partners, relatives, leaders, pets?!

Where we place our confidence is where we feed from: Our body/mind is affected either positively or negatively by the entertainment/media/food/ table of our choosing.

What are You eating and what You’re eating, is it forming Your values?!

How we act or how we perform is dependent on: MC (Misplaced Confidence) or JC (Justifiable Confidence).

We all need confidence, let’s make it Justifiable!:)

For our confidence to be justifiable, examining our value system is important. What do You value as Partner, Caregiver, Friend, Fragile-Life?!

Well, You’re still reading this blog (THANKS!) so, You probably value partnerships and wellness?? What values can help Partnerships and Wellness?

Here’s a brief list for You to personally ponder:

  • Love
  • Compassion
  • Honesty
  • Truth
  • Dignity
  • Promises
  • Work
  • Wellness
  • Forgiveness
  • Personal Integrity
  • Freedom
  • Life

Here’s another thing for You to reflect upon which I read:

“Humanity’s survival “may depend on the acceptance of a global ethic,” says the journal Counseling and Values. “Perhaps the most agreed-upon universal moral value is …

MC performed, but How would JC Act?! (Part 1)

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

shutterstock_141462232JC or MC–When You see these 2 letters together, as Partners in Wellness, what do they represent to You?!

When You see these two colors Blue or Green* what do they represent to You?! (*Please, read more on importance of color in Part 2 of this post.)

Letters can have multiple meanings to multiple people. Letters sound differently in differing languages.

May be, they represent/symbolize a loved one’s/partner’s initials? Or a famous person’s initials? Or nothing whatsoever?;)

Some would readily think J-esus C-hrist. Some would readily think M-iley C-yrus.

Some may read my blog title and assume it’s asking: “How would Jesus Christ Act?!” — (Nevertheless, an interesting rhetorical question for any so-called followers of the founder of Christianity (who may be reading this) or followers/fans of the 20 year old former Disney kid star.)

Parents (who may be reading this) could be wondering, like some folks: Is Billy Ray Cyrus, a professed Christian, singing: “Achy Breaky Heart” for Miley?!

As Partners and Parents, we all want what’s best/healthy/contributes to wellness for our kids and what’s best/healthy/contributes to wellness for our relationship(s)!

We all live our values. Our values can take us close to wellness or far from wellness.  We practice our values. (No matter what our values happen to be.) Our values are reflected in every day choices of speech and every day choices of conduct.

Plus, wouldn’t You agree, we all need a compass to help us find our way.
It’s not always easy finding/Knowing North! -lol:)
Recently read this:

“In 2008, researchers in the United States interviewed hundreds of young adults about their views on moral values.  “What’s disheartening is how bad they are thinking and talking about moral issues,” said David Brooks in The New York Times.  Most felt that rape and murder were wrong, but “aside from those extreme cases, moral thinking didn’t enter the picture, even when [they] were considering things like drunken driving, cheating in school or cheating on a partner.” As one young person put it, “I don’t really deal with right and wrong that often.”


LOVE: a 4 Letter Word Mothers (Should) Use!

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

shutterstock_150097520Oh, it’s okay baby, don’t cry! (Mother, Mom, Mommy), Mama IS here for You because I LOVE You!

This beautiful word is expressed not only on our lips throughout the day to our kids, but in our daily deeds as we assist our young ones growing to maturity. Maturity doesn’t involve just physical growth, but emotional, mental and spiritual growth as well. As mothers, our choices affect our kids in complicated ways. (Ways we may not fully comprehend at this moment in time due to our own limitations or limitations of science and research.)

Of course, every Mother wants the best for her child. Our choices (especially compassionate ones) hopefully: will have a VERY positive impact on our child’s wellness: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual health!

Partners and Parents need to carefully consider:

  • What we eat and why?
  • What we feed our mind and why?
  • What we listen to and when?
  • How we spend our time?

Green Tea Therapy TV with Joan Winifred

Sunday, June 9th, 2013

shutterstock_84818341THANK YOU for accepting my invitation!:) Tea for Two-me and You!

How is Your day going?? Would You like a cup of tea? Green, White, Black, Oolong, Herbal? Sweetened? Unsweetened?

Oh, You may prefer coffee. SORRY, not me, i’m a tea drinker. (Though, i do like coffee-flavored ice cream, go figure.)

I enjoy Green Tea with lemon and honey or black cherry/berry tea for me. I brew tea leaves…don’t read them; seriously.

Research has shown, there are many health benefits to tea drinking. Please check out this stuff from Harvard Medical School:

“Tea’s health benefits are largely due to its high content of flavonoids — plant-derived compounds that are antioxidants. Green tea is the best food source of a group called catechins. In test tubes, catechins are more powerful than vitamins C and E in halting oxidative damage to cells and appear to have other disease-fighting properties. Studies have found an association between consuming green tea and a reduced risk for several cancers, including, skin, breast, lung, colon, esophageal, and bladder.”

Archives of Internal Medicine showed: “a 46%-65% reduction in hypertension risk in regular consumers of oolong or green tea, compared to non-consumers of tea.”

DSC03193 tea with tracyI (believe)/accept there are many “Wellness” benefits emotionally, mentally and (may be, spiritually) for everyone through tea therapy… What I mean by tea therapy is sharing a cup of tea with a dear friend, partner, caregiver, mentor, positive role-model, family member, colleague, spiritual leader, etc. Chatting, talking it out over tea is therapy for me!:)

Here’s a little sip of something:

“Green tea is another potential energy booster. It has about half the caffeine as coffee, plus theanine, which helps people feel focused. There is scientific evidence that green tea helps keep weight off, boosts exercise ability, helps muscles recover faster from workouts, and improves attention spans. Green tea, in moderation, is okay because the theanine content helps to balance the effects of the caffeine.” ~Change Your Brain Change Your Body, …

Injury Prevention Important!

Thursday, April 25th, 2013

shutterstock_30418717It is an OUTRAGE! Safety measures, injury prevention and using some smarts could save so many young/innocent lives…what am i talking about: Dummy parents who refuse to respect water and life! Here in Florida…i’ve heard so many super-sad-stories of beautiful-fragile-life drowning because of a lapse in supervision, etc…Just overheard another incident/tragedy and i’m ANGRY.

Okay, not out-of-control angry…just VERY upset by stupidity and senselessness. (Thus–the inspiration for this post.) Yeah, we make mistakes as parents, (and my heart breaks for any parent who has lost their child in death:(

But, can’t we be more vigilant when it comes to our kids’ safety?! Parents must protect their kids. Parents must respect life. Parents must respect water. Parents must respect time. Parents must WAKE-UP/PAY ATTENTION before kids drown…Until our kid(s) are grown, our job as a parent is: LIFE GUARD! (not just talking water)

Scope of the Problem       

Florida loses more children ages 1–4 to drowning than any other state. Annually in Florida, enough children to fill three to four preschool classrooms drown and do not live to see their fifth birthday.

Florida overwhelmingly has the highest unintentional drowning rate in the nation for the 1–4 year old age group with a rate of 6.98 per 100,000 population (Oklahoma was second for this age group with a rate of 5.04) for 2007–2009.

Alaska, Hawaii, and Florida have the highest overall unintentional drowning rates in the nation between 2007–2009, with rates of 3.53, 2.90, and 2.09 per 100,000 population, respectively. The soaring rate for the 1–4 year old age group drives up Florida’s overall rate, so if we can impact the 1–4 year old rate, we can also make an impact on Florida’s overall rate.

Sun, surf and sand…sand, sun and surf…baby powder sand of Siesta Key Beach is 1 of my all time favorite beaches…had the privilege/experience of living close by (Gulf Gate)…Hubby and i would pop over in the evenings (when the sun wasn’t so strong) with the babies/toddlers…and i remember one of our first times at the beach (after relocating from Massachusetts to Sarasota)…word was spreading around the …

Full of Fluff!

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

marshmellowsM is for ?…mmmMonday. M is for March. M is for Mars.

M is for Marshmallows!:)

Do you like marshmallows? Just “realizing” while writing this post:

I pronounce and spell marshmallow as marsh-mellow!

Though, others have remarked on my spelling skills, i feel, my accent messes up my spelling abilities…not going to worry about it–just going to “mellow” out. -lol:)

I have an odd/thick accent…especially when tired and/or upset. What i term “New England” accent because of growing up there. Specifically, a “Somerville”–east Somerville accent…i get teased in good fun all the time about it!:) My kids get in on it too…correcting me when i speak. That’s okay!…found a great way of getting kids–my kids to listen/obey/cooperate…threaten* (*using this term jokingly) a public display of affection like a kiss on the cheek and/or hug or start calling them by a cute nickname ala my accent: works every time!-lol:)

It’s pretty ironic, Somerville has come a long way from “slummerville”…it use to really bother/embarrass me as a kid when people would refer to my hometown that way! (waaaaay over it!) Looking back now, really thankful for my upbringing there…a lot of good people/things have come from Somerville, Massachusetts…not just famous ones.

I’m getting choked up writing this now…thinking about my family/friends/experiences…”Somerville” and what that word/place means to me. Somerville did indeed play a part in shaping/molding me–my impressionable formative years!

Questions for Consideration:

  • What place has helped shape You into the personality You are today?!
  • Does this place express Compassion Culture?!
  • Where are You now?!
  • A place of Compassion?!

Still living in Summer…ville here in sunny Florida. My accent pronounces “Somer” like the season Summ…drop the er and insert a..Summaville…er is always short a sound..R gets dropped too: car is ca…yard is yad. Then insert the r sound where it doesn’t belong like idear. Forty…for becomes fau-ty becomes d (sounds perfectly right to me): fau-d. Heart sounds like haat. Start sounds like staat.

Confusing?? There’s way more to this accent than that…No wonder i get blank stares when talking very fast!:) That’s probably why i feel more easily understood in written …


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