Marriage Articles

Where are My Reasons for Happiness?

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014

shutterstock_81215629Greetings Beautiful-Breathing-Fagile-Life reading my blog at this moment in time!

Hoping All is Well with You and Yours!

It’s Sunday, March 2, 2014 and where are my Reasons for Happiness??

Where have they gone?? Far, far away??

NO! WAY!;)

For those who follow my blog series: Reasons for Happiness e.g., 200 Reasons For Happiness which began back on August 8, 2013 until my last(est) installment February 16, 2014…you realized, I forgot to record. I sorta got busy and remembered a day late: which broke my c-o-n-s-i-s-t-e-n-t-p-a-t-t-e–r-n of an 8 day cycle. I guess, that’s pretty good consistency: August-February. Plus, I didn’t want this “fun” coping tool turning into a crutch or drudgery.

I wish to write because I want to write and not because I feel forced to write or obligated to record my reasons for happiness. So, I’m at a crossroad. I made it consistently to #200.

What do you, my readers, think? Should I pick up where I left off and continue recording/counting from this point onward? Forget about the 8 day cycle or just write/record my reasons for happiness when inspiration and overwhelming happiness motivates me?! If you wish, please leave me a comment.

(The jury is still out.) May be ? that blog series served its purpose and is now finished. THANKS for reading!

Everyday, we have many reasons for Happiness and #1 Reason is WE ARE ALIVE!!:)

As Partners in Wellness, Friends & Fragile-Life: we are privileged to breathe, be alive and be loved! Share the Peace and appreciate your many personal reasons for happiness. When we dwell on the positives, we thrive and survive!:)

Yes, life is challenging and yes, we have things on our plate, we don’t want to eat…but hey, what’s a little indigestion?! Could be worse, eh?!…could be dead or have no food, etc. There is always a bright side to every coin. And all trials are temporary. It’s all …

Sick of Numbers?

Monday, January 27th, 2014

shutterstock_168922493I’m sick of numbers (hopefully momentarily)!

I sorta have this love, like, dislike and hate (strong dislike) emotional entanglement with numbers. An attraction, distraction, fascination and aggravation of mind-wrapping relationship with math.

I prefer words. I love words more. Numbers I tolerate. Numbers I like less.

I love facts. Sometimes, brain just jumps to the solution/answer and doesn’t want to bother with calculations, estimations or projections. (Statistics are alright.)

I live in a world of words…numbers try to take up residence, but usually get evicted before long.

Life can be like placement on a timeline and logistics all rolled into one mind-boggling mess to patiently sort out. Give me more patience PLEASE!:)

Math ain’t my thing. (Neither is proper grammar;)

I can’t defy gravity and I can’t defy numbers either. Can I defy time? NO! Compassion won’t let me. Thus, I resist.

Sometimes, math/brain games of life are a matter of chance, sometimes a matter of choice. Sometimes, a matter of survival. Sometimes, a matter of patience and timing and waiting.

In the timeline of my life…I could not help it, who was the first to show up: when and where. For example, my parents in my life and other family members and family friends…each taking their respective place(s) on my individual/personal timeline of life and the influence(s) (positive or negative) that brought whatever/whoever to (into) my existence or within my field of awareness.

{Choice(s) influenced my birth. Covenant/partnership influenced my birth and thus, the mathematical timeline of my life. My married parents chose to be together. Was it mathematical chance I was born in Massachusetts, USA in 1969?! If I was born in another country or culture, my life experiences and belief system may have been written differently/better?! -lol}

Of course, I subtracted some and added others/collected friends and mentors, friends of compassion to my numbered timeline as I progressed and/or as my life matured to adulthood and beyond.

It also reminds me of waiting in line and taking a number, say at a deli…when you approach, most likely there are others already in line waiting longer than You for their turn or …

A Partner with Special Needs

Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

shutterstock_97659359(2)Life is precious. Life is privilege. Life is fragile. Life is fleeting!
A special gift from the giver of our life! Special life requires special care, maintenance, sustenance for sustaining.

Every Partner, Person, Breathing-Fragile-Life inhabiting our fragile planet has needs that are special. These needs must be met in order to sustain life. (Obviously, You know Your personal needs.)

In my view of life as precious-special-fragile: we all have certain commonality needs such as food, water, air, shelter, warmth, clothing, love, respect, communication, understanding, education, association, support, spirituality, etc. Then as individuals, we have certain (possibly contrasting) needs that are peculiarly our own. Including unique circumstantial needs.

Young ones have special/specific needs. Mature ones have special/specific needs. Healthy ones have special/specific needs. Unhealthy ones have special/specific needs. Single ones have special/specific needs. Married ones have special/specific needs. If we live in a mine-field or a worn-torn country, of course, we have special needs. Just like if we live in a more peaceful place, we have special/specific needs. Introverts have special/specific needs. Extroverts have special/specific needs. Etc., Etc., Etc…

Boy, aren’t we all special?! and needy -lol:) Yeah, You’re right, I should speak for myself, eh?

(Stop dragging this out joanie and get to some point, already!…and while you’re at it–STOP talking to yourself and start writing something worth reading.)

All of us need Compassion. All of us need forgiveness. All of us need help. All of us need support. All of us need to be and feel safe. Learning to be sensitive (and not indifferent) to each others’ needs and responding promptly to those specific needs is so VERY vital to sustaining life and promoting peacefulness.

Let’s not sugar-coat reality, it’s hard and takes a lot of concerted effort/work on the part of the so-called healthy partner/friend/fragile life to provide what is specially needed for the so-called unhealthy partner/friend/fragile life. We all stumble many times. We make mistakes. To humbly and freely apologize promotes peace. To humbly and freely accept an apology promotes peace.

Partners in Wellness: It’s a Celebration!

Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Joan Winifrid is using shutterstock images of balloonsWelcome: It’s a Blog Party here at Partners in Wellness!!

Hope You don’t mind balloons. I love them!

Balloons help make things festive and jubilant! Though, I’m enjoying digital and not actual ones–better for the environment, eh?! And, perhaps, better for any suffering with Globophobia.

There is always a positive reason to celebrate! You’re ALIVE! You’re Fragile Life! You’re a friend! You’re a compassionate person! You reached a goal or a milestone of some kind! You’re on the Path to Wellness! You’re in Recovery…YAHOO!:)

What personal reason do You have to celebrate today?? Find one! cause it’s time to celebrate! May Your Day be filled with Joy and Peace!:) Peace brings healing. Healing starts spiritually and progresses physically. 

The kind of partying I enJOY is the safe/healthy kind: NO! abusing booze or over-consuming food.

And what’s a party without music???…no party at all! (But we gotta keep the volume at an ear-saving/hearing-friendly level.)

The gang (YOU:) my Readers/Friends of Compassion) are all here–so, THANKS for making this party Cool:

(by Your compassionate/considerate behavior.)

You know what?! I’m in the mood for CAKE! Oh come on, a little piece of virtual cake…ain’t gonna hurt Ya, right?!-lol Again, what’s a party without any cake, people?? (Okay, we’ll make it home-made with love and sugar-free for any Diabetics.)shutterstock_149762366

Usually, I’m not too into (inappropriate) pda’s (public displays of affection) on-line or elsewhere that may make Anyone feel uncomfortable…however, my personal reason to celebrate: Today, October 6th, 2013 is: my Wedding Anniversary! You can check out Hubby’s post here: Mental Health Humor

To reach this 22 year milestone is a big accomplishment for my family for many reasons. (CONGRATS to YOU for Your big accomplishments as well!!)

Any …

Geek Speak: Say WHAT?

Friday, August 23rd, 2013

shutterstock_116997754Geek speak can be a conundrum. Geek speak or oblique speak…can make it challenging for some relationships to thrive (e.g., Doctors and Patients, Caregivers and Care-Receivers, Parents and Children, Teachers and Students, Partners and Friends, Me-Tarzan, You-Jane or joan -lol and So-called Leaders and So-called Followers, etc.)

In case You need to know, i have nothing whatsoever against geeks (aka Super-Smart and/or Experts in their given field)…i use this term “geek” endearingly!..i’ve known (appreciated, liked very much) many geeks in my life and consider myself…a wannabe lol:) Hey, don’t we all wannabe…something?! giggle, giggle:)

Yes, some subjects are ineffable. Personally (don’t mind), i prefer terse verse. i “attempt” pellucidity! Though, my ebulliently discursive posts..may speak/tell/shout/whisper/reveal otherwise. ;)

Deep comprehension and clear understanding in communication is crucial to wellness. When an atmosphere of trust, dignity, respect, mutual understanding, love exists, communication is open and free. Pride, haughtiness and sometimes…big words-lol…can cause confusion, misunderstanding or be damaging/lethal to any relationship (and/or post/communication/conversation)!

Humility is a key component to compassionate communication and word choice. i’m always working on this quality (humility) or (the quality of this positive trait) because i don’t want my (attempts of) so-called “aiding” any Beautiful-Breathing-Fragile-Life to be (and/or come off as) officious or presumptuous.

Don’t all of us want to be understood?? To be heard?? or be helped when needed??…IF You’ve ever been ignored, misunderstood or misjudged–you get–you know–you understand–it can be life-threatening depending on context/circumstance! To be fully understood means to be fully appreciated. To be fully appreciated means to be fully valued. (To be fully valued means justice.) Justice takes time to unfold. Same with appreciation. Same with comprehension. Ah, patience…(i need more!)

Who doesn’t want to be fully appreciated and fully valued and fully heard or have your words, thoughts and feelings matter??  Then, perhaps, we need to modify our speech. Change our language to better suit our hearing or unhearing audience…

Take for example, the juxtaposition of a timid whisperer and a bold shouter. May be, IF we are timid whisperers, we need to become bold …

How to Forgive: The Basics

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

shutterstock_124097521HAPPY August to YOU: Beautiful-Breathing-Fragile-Life!:) Just like the start of each new day is an opportunity for peace and wellness, each new month provides incentive to continue down a progressive path toward greater wellness. What do You hope to achieve this August? How about: Forgiveness?!

Forgiveness a great concept, eh? Achievable?? YES!:)
You just have to know how. It takes knowledge and skill. Any knowledge, any skill takes time and practice to acquire. It takes baby steps.


When a baby is learning to walk, they go slow. They cruise holding onto people and objects like chairs and couches, etc. Babies all have their shares of falls, bruises and bumps and of course, we try very hard to protect them from a head injury.

In my opinion (whatever YOU deem that worth), NOT being able to forgive is like a head injury…what i will call: a damaged compassion ability/skill. Some head injuries heal and are not permanent. Heal your head…(from You know what) and forgive: an ability/skill of compassion…let go of anger, frustration, resentment, heartache: STOP! dwelling on the negative. STOP! the recording playing in your head. Forgiveness lessens emotional pain…begin healing today: start taking your baby steps…REPLACE! a (each) negative thought for a positive thought. Keep at it. Keep going until Your Positive thoughts outweigh and even eliminate the other thoughts. Fill Your mind with positive, wholesome, life-giving thoughts and…

“Anxious care in the heart of a man is what will cause it to bow down, but the good word is what makes it rejoice.” (Proverbs 12:25) {When we choose positive/good words to think about and to speak, we heal}…

“Fight your way back from the dead”…why let love die because you refuse to forgive??? Don’t let something “precious” die…

FYI just in case: for song clarity NOT encouraging suicide whatsoever…see post: …

Compassion Communication Saves Relationships!

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

shutterstock_135706406“It takes courage, determination, and resiliency to maintain a long-lasting relationship.” ~states John M. Gottman and Nan Silver, Marriage Researchers.

On “Sunday,” my family and i were doing some in-depth reading/study on the topic of Communication and how “Good” aka non-harmful or non-hurtful Compassionate Communication can strengthen a family. This post is basically an essay: describing somethings we discussed: somethings we read: as well as somethings:

i’ve been meaning to put to paper (put to post).

Migraine Monday? Manic Monday? or MARVELOUS Monday?

Monday, November 5th, 2012

Monday?! Do you like Mondays?? “Mon” (my) Day! Recuperating from the week-ends’ busy activity?! Migraine Monday? Meditative Monday? Marvelous Monday? or Manic Monday? (The Bangles come to mind.) Hope You, my Readers, are having a Marvelous Monday!:)

After my long book-of-a-post, was meditating about what could i possibly share of an uplifting, light nature…something fun and/or educational. Thought perhaps of giving you a link to a kid’s story written a while back. Chuck Brown are you out there??…FYI: that’s not the title, but the voice artist who brought, Petie’s Peanut Butter Pizza to life. What a Voice! I wonder how many kids have listened and enjoyed the story through the years? Do you know Mr. Brown? He will “light up your brain!”:)

Anyway, our son was going through an eating phase. Peanut butter. Loved the stuff and not much else. Hubby and I home cook food for our kids daily. We believe in the benefits of family meal time!:) We always try to expose the kids to a variety of healthy food. They like quinoa, eggplant, spinach, hummus, stuffed jalapenos, various veggies and fish, etc. Oh and pizza!:) They enjoy cooking with us as well and trips to the health food/organic store with Dad. (It can be pretty expensive for families to eat healthy–we try the best we can afford.) What about your family? So “thankful” to have food to feed my kids. My heart breaks for less-fortunate folks/families who go hungry!:( Can’t we all SHARE!:)

Creative Commons License photo credit: skolbwilliams Creative Commons License photo credit 1: oanabefort

Hubby likes to feed our brain while we eat (i.e. sharing encouraging points and things for us to read/discuss together as a family). This helps us stay close and grow spiritually/emotionally/academically as a family unit. When/if eating alone,  …

Are You GREAT just because You Exist?!

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

True self confidence comes from honing your talents and learning things,” says the book Generation Me, “not from being told you’re great just because you exist.”

“Parents want to make their children happy, and children want stuff,” says the book The Narcissism Epidemic. “Thus parents buy them stuff. And children are happy, but only for a short period of time. Then they want even more stuff.

Throwing material goods at problems is a notoriously unsuccessful solution,” says the book The Price of Privilege. “Problems need to be addressed with thought, insight, and empathy, not shoes and purses.” (How many shoes and purses do you own?! or ties and sneakers?! or backpacks and lalaloopsy dolls? or skateboards and legos?:)

Escaping the Endless Adolescence, Dr. Joseph Allen tells of a young man who said to him during a job interview: “I get the sense that sometimes parts of the work can be a little boring, and I don’t want to be bored.” Dr. Allen writes: “He didn’t seem to understand that all jobs have some boring elements. How did one make it to age twenty-three without knowing that?”

Parents face so many varying challenges to raising kids/teens these days. As any busy Mom/Dad of 4 or 3, 2,1…knows it gets overwhelming and exhausting to say the least! Hubby and i chose to have these kids and so, we also chose to raise them ourselves. (i.e. i became a stay-at-home mom and Hubby is self-employed. We tried to maximize our time to be present for our children (and to protect their fleeting childhood) during their tender, formative years.) We all make sacrifices for important reasons. All worthwhile endeavors require hard work and sacrifice…Parenthood is such an endeavor–a daunting one at that!

The above-snipets/quotes are from an article/s i recently read on parenting which explored:

3 Parenting Traps:

1. Overpraising: For example some parents have been caught up in the self-esteem movement. You know, praising their kids say for breathing and totally ignoring any indiscretion or offensive behavior. Lavishing …

Suicide Prevention – Constant Vigilance and Ongoing Education

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

Please note: before publishing this I discussed the post with my husband to make sure he was okay/comfortable with me talking about his struggle with suicidal thinking. His response was positive.

As the constant advocate, he feels it will be therapeutic for me as well helpful to others to talk about this difficult topic. The issues of suicide and caregiving, and loving and living with a suicidal partner can be very distressing to say the least. Together, caregivers, partners, family and friends can help each other press on…choose life!
Suicidal Behavior Watch Signs  
My heart and thoughts go out to all the people who have lost a loved one to suicide! Whenever someone in the public eye dies unexpectedly of apparent suicide (like O. J. Murdock and others), it opens up difficult dialogue. As a Caregiver and partner, this is one aspect of my husband’s illness that is very scarey! It just reminds me of the need for constant vigilance and on-going education.

My husband has been a mental health advocate for many years now. His advocacy started in Sarasota, Florida after suffering a major Bipolar episode leading to a suicide attempt and then hospitalization. He has talked about it many times, yet it still scares me.


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