Monday?! Do you like Mondays?? “Mon” (my) Day! Recuperating from the week-ends’ busy activity?! Migraine Monday? Meditative Monday? Marvelous Monday? or Manic Monday? (The Bangles come to mind.) Hope You, my Readers, are having a Marvelous Monday!:)

After my long book-of-a-post, was meditating about what could i possibly share of an uplifting, light nature…something fun and/or educational. Thought perhaps of giving you a link to a kid’s story written a while back. Chuck Brown are you out there??…FYI: that’s not the title, but the voice artist who brought, Petie’s Peanut Butter Pizza to life. What a Voice! I wonder how many kids have listened and enjoyed the story through the years? Do you know Mr. Brown? He will “light up your brain!”:)

Anyway, our son was going through an eating phase. Peanut butter. Loved the stuff and not much else. Hubby and I home cook food for our kids daily. We believe in the benefits of family meal time!:) We always try to expose the kids to a variety of healthy food. They like quinoa, eggplant, spinach, hummus, stuffed jalapenos, various veggies and fish, etc. Oh and pizza!:) They enjoy cooking with us as well and trips to the health food/organic store with Dad. (It can be pretty expensive for families to eat healthy–we try the best we can afford.) What about your family? So “thankful” to have food to feed my kids. My heart breaks for less-fortunate folks/families who go hungry!:( Can’t we all SHARE!:)

photo credit: skolbwilliams photo credit 1: oanabefort

Hubby likes to feed our brain while we eat (i.e. sharing encouraging points and things for us to read/discuss together as a family). This helps us stay close and grow spiritually/emotionally/academically as a family unit. When/if eating alone,  …

When you have a partner with mental illness, you are likely always on alert for behaviors that might indicate the illness is progressing. Was that laugh too loud, and a sign of impending mania?…Does the fact that he doesn’t want to go to the party mean his depression is coming back?…Did he forget to pick up the dry cleaning because he didn’t take his ADHD meds?…Did she skip dessert because she’s full or because her eating disorder is telling her she should?…Is he jumpy because of his PTSD or did he just have too much coffee this morning?

As the supportive partner, it can be exhausting to have these thoughts all the time. You have likely been through the mill with your partner’s behaviors that are due to their illness, and having these kinds of thoughts are a defense mechanism to protect yourself from being caught off guard again.

But there’s a flip side to this story, too: your partner may not be feeling as if it is okay to be themselves.

Today’s post is Part 2 on how to help kids who have a parent with a mental illness. In Part 1, we discussed how kids think about and react to having an ill parent. This post will address how to talk with kids when their Mom or Dad has a mental illness, and provide helpful resources.

Talking with kids about mental illness

Experts recommend that you address these main topics with kids when Mom or Dad have a mental illness:

1. What is it?, Will I get it?, and Will Mom/Dad get better?: Obviously, this will take a little research on your part ahead of time so that you can accurately answer your child’s questions. It is okay to say, “I don’t know, but I will find out,” instead of lying, stretching the truth, or ignoring your child’s question if you aren’t sure of the answer. See the next topic for more on that…
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When a parent is mentally ill, children are often confused, scared, angry, and/or worried. Depending on their ages, how long the parent has been symptomatic, and experiences with Mom or Dad being sick, children need appropriate levels of education and support.

Children of parents with mental illness are at risk a range of mental health problems, including depression and anxiety, alcoholism, and personality disorders.

In this two-part blog, we’ll first look at how kids perceive, react to, and think about having a parent with a mental illness.  In Part 2, we’ll discuss how to best help kids and offer resources.

Awareness that eating disorders do not just affect teenaged, white females is growing. Your partner–male or female–may have struggled with an eating disorder as a young person, which puts them at risk for re-developing symptoms when faced with challenges as an adult. Or your partner may develop an eating disorder for the first time as an adult in an attempt to cope with something overwhelming, such as a traumatic event or a loss, whether that be of a person, job, ability, or something else that was significant for them.

A new study from researchers at the University of Minnesota has shown that eating disorders can be triggered by lack of support following traumatic events such as bereavement, relationship problems, abuse and sexual assault.

They identified six major events that commonly are associated with the development of eating disordered behaviors: school transition, relationship changes, death of a loved one, home or job transition, illness/hospitalization, and abuse/sexual assault/incest.

What might this look like for your partner?

It’s no secret that health insurance is expensive, and paying for mental health services can be outrageous as well. When you and your partner have a large pile of bills to pay, it can make a difficult decision to forgo mental health appointments and psychiatric medications appear–on the surface–to be easier.

No money = No care, no meds. Period. End of story. Right?

Unfortunately, you and your partner may have already discovered what happens when mental health treatment is stopped abruptly. Or if you are considering this possibility, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise.

The ramifications of not getting appropriate treatment go much further than just a depressed mood or anxious thoughts and feelings. It could result in an untimely death.

As we wrap up National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2012, one of the most frequent questions those of us who treat people with eating disorders get asked from partners, families, and friends is, “How can I help? I don’t know what to say or do, but I want to support my loved one!”

Here are ten ways you can help.

When your partner, friend, sister, or other person in your life asks the question, it might seem as if the only appropriate answer is “No.” It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t moment because it’s also likely that if someone is asking you that question, she isn’t going to believe your answer anyway.

What you need to know is that the person asking the question isn’t actually looking for a yes or no. She may think she is, but there’s more behind the question, and it’s your job to help her figure out what she really needs: Validation? Reassurance? Love?

Here are five ways to approach answering the question:

February 26th through March 3rd is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and the posts on Partners in Wellness this week will address how eating disorders may be impacting your partner and your relationship.

The theme for this year’s NEDA Week is “Everybody Knows Somebody.” As the incidence of eating disorders increases, it is likely that everybody knows somebody who has (or has recovered from) an eating disorder, whether that is anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or an eating disorder that doesn’t meet the full criteria for a specific diagnosis (called Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified, or EDNOS).

If your partner has an eating disorder–diagnosed or not–your role as their partner is essential for recovery, but it is also an extremely challenging one. No one can recover from an eating disorder alone, nor should they try to. It takes a team, which includes mental health professionals who specialize in eating disorders, and supportive, educated family and friends.

One of my three cats, CJ, has a unique purr. Her purr can be heard across the house, or over the phone by unsuspecting callers, and her sound has been compared to a pigeon or turtle dove. It’s nearly impossible not to smile when she is purring (unless it is 3 a.m., because if she wakes up, she purrs then as well!) My other two kitties like to snuggle–often at inconvenient times, such as when I am trying to type a blog post!–but there is no doubt they love me. They tend to stick especially close when they sense I am unhappy or not feeling well.

One of my colleagues at Duke, Jennifer Strauss, was featured recently about volunteer work she, her husband, and their dog, Murphy, do at a camp for children who have lost a parent, sibling or other significant person in their lives within the past two years. In the article, Jennifer discusses the connections the children make with Murphy, and how his presence seems to allow them to express feelings that may not be so easy to share with adults.

The physical and mental health benefits of having pets are numerous. If you and your partner already have pets, are you getting the most benefit? If you don’t have pets, is it time to consider getting one?