Sovereignty Soup..somebody’s cookin’ and serving it up! Do you like soup? Chicken or Italian wedding soup or vegetable soup or soup du jour? How about stone soup? Soup a comfort food. You don’t have to be homeless to enjoy a slurp.

Some are homeless in the sense of not belonging…not fitting in–lacking “home” or feeling “less”/inadequate…lacking a place to lay their head or retreat in times of trouble. Please know, you’re not homeless when you read my blog–you’re welcome here! i will always share some soup–”comfort” food!:)

Some are homeless by choice…they choose the freedom of travel, gypsy-like, temporary-resident existence. May be, that’s a key to their survival, being free to pick up and leave at their choosing/when they need to…a nomadic life-style of neutrality.

Back to Soup! Everybody has their favorite/partial soup (religious soup, science soup, academic soup, political soup, fiction soup, opinion soup, soul soup, sovereignty soup) Which soup do you eat?? which soup is the most nutritious?? most beneficial for your over-all health: short-term/long?! Which soup will prolong your precious life?? Which soup gives you peace of mind?!

I know you’re hungry, but PLEASE choose your soup carefully!:) Will you let your hunger control you?! In case you didn’t know: you don’t have to eat ANY soup. One can choose not to eat from the choices forced upon one! i.e. Today, some may feel forced to choose their political soup. It’s either this soup or that soup…2 choices of soup: is that really the only choices you have?–i don’t think so! Especially, if you’re not sure of all the ingredients and you have serious allergies i.e. life or death ones.

Don’t forget, there are outstanding “historical” figures…men who have had great influence on the lives of millions (whether you personally believe/agree with them or not, that’s not the point) who had chosen to fast (from time to time) for what they considered important reasons:

“You wish to know what the marks of a man are who wants to realize Truth which is God,” he wrote. “He must reduce himself to zero and …

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Monday?! Do you like Mondays?? “Mon” (my) Day! Recuperating from the week-ends’ busy activity?! Migraine Monday? Meditative Monday? Marvelous Monday? or Manic Monday? (The Bangles come to mind.) Hope You, my Readers, are having a Marvelous Monday!:)

After my long book-of-a-post, was meditating about what could i possibly share of an uplifting, light nature…something fun and/or educational. Thought perhaps of giving you a link to a kid’s story written a while back. Chuck Brown are you out there??…FYI: that’s not the title, but the voice artist who brought, Petie’s Peanut Butter Pizza to life. What a Voice! I wonder how many kids have listened and enjoyed the story through the years? Do you know Mr. Brown? He will “light up your brain!”:)

Anyway, our son was going through an eating phase. Peanut butter. Loved the stuff and not much else. Hubby and I home cook food for our kids daily. We believe in the benefits of family meal time!:) We always try to expose the kids to a variety of healthy food. They like quinoa, eggplant, spinach, hummus, stuffed jalapenos, various veggies and fish, etc. Oh and pizza!:) They enjoy cooking with us as well and trips to the health food/organic store with Dad. (It can be pretty expensive for families to eat healthy–we try the best we can afford.) What about your family? So “thankful” to have food to feed my kids. My heart breaks for less-fortunate folks/families who go hungry!:( Can’t we all SHARE!:)

photo credit: skolbwilliams photo credit 1: oanabefort

Hubby likes to feed our brain while we eat (i.e. sharing encouraging points and things for us to read/discuss together as a family). This helps us stay close and grow spiritually/emotionally/academically as a family unit. When/if eating alone,  …

When you have a partner with mental illness, you are likely always on alert for behaviors that might indicate the illness is progressing. Was that laugh too loud, and a sign of impending mania?…Does the fact that he doesn’t want to go to the party mean his depression is coming back?…Did he forget to pick up the dry cleaning because he didn’t take his ADHD meds?…Did she skip dessert because she’s full or because her eating disorder is telling her she should?…Is he jumpy because of his PTSD or did he just have too much coffee this morning?

As the supportive partner, it can be exhausting to have these thoughts all the time. You have likely been through the mill with your partner’s behaviors that are due to their illness, and having these kinds of thoughts are a defense mechanism to protect yourself from being caught off guard again.

But there’s a flip side to this story, too: your partner may not be feeling as if it is okay to be themselves.

Today’s post is Part 2 on how to help kids who have a parent with a mental illness. In Part 1, we discussed how kids think about and react to having an ill parent. This post will address how to talk with kids when their Mom or Dad has a mental illness, and provide helpful resources.

Talking with kids about mental illness

Experts recommend that you address these main topics with kids when Mom or Dad have a mental illness:

1. What is it?, Will I get it?, and Will Mom/Dad get better?: Obviously, this will take a little research on your part ahead of time so that you can accurately answer your child’s questions. It is okay to say, “I don’t know, but I will find out,” instead of lying, stretching the truth, or ignoring your child’s question if you aren’t sure of the answer. See the next topic for more on that…
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When a parent is mentally ill, children are often confused, scared, angry, and/or worried. Depending on their ages, how long the parent has been symptomatic, and experiences with Mom or Dad being sick, children need appropriate levels of education and support.

Children of parents with mental illness are at risk a range of mental health problems, including depression and anxiety, alcoholism, and personality disorders.

In this two-part blog, we’ll first look at how kids perceive, react to, and think about having a parent with a mental illness.  In Part 2, we’ll discuss how to best help kids and offer resources.

It’s no secret that health insurance is expensive, and paying for mental health services can be outrageous as well. When you and your partner have a large pile of bills to pay, it can make a difficult decision to forgo mental health appointments and psychiatric medications appear–on the surface–to be easier.

No money = No care, no meds. Period. End of story. Right?

Unfortunately, you and your partner may have already discovered what happens when mental health treatment is stopped abruptly. Or if you are considering this possibility, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise.

The ramifications of not getting appropriate treatment go much further than just a depressed mood or anxious thoughts and feelings. It could result in an untimely death.

“One minute, my wife is smiling and joking with me, and the next, she’s looking at me like I’ve grown a second head, and walks away angry. I think she’s bipolar.”

“My partner has to be bipolar…I never can predict what his mood is going to be, and the littlest things get him upset. But then, a few hours later, he’s fine again.”

“My coworker never seems to need sleep! She sends me emails at 3:30 am, and wonders why I’m not awake to answer them. But then, she misses deadlines and is furious when projects don’t run as she would like. Does she have bipolar or something?”

Bipolar disorder has a bad rap, and is largely misunderstood by lay people with no mental health training. Even those of us who are trained in psychology can sometimes be mystified by the presentation of bipolar disorder.

The above examples illustrate that people understand bipolar disorder includes having extreme ranges of emotion, but the key element that’s missing is how quickly those emotions change. People with active bipolar disorder experience their depression or mania for days, weeks, months or (unfortunately) longer–not in short increments that can be measured in minutes or hours.

One of my three cats, CJ, has a unique purr. Her purr can be heard across the house, or over the phone by unsuspecting callers, and her sound has been compared to a pigeon or turtle dove. It’s nearly impossible not to smile when she is purring (unless it is 3 a.m., because if she wakes up, she purrs then as well!) My other two kitties like to snuggle–often at inconvenient times, such as when I am trying to type a blog post!–but there is no doubt they love me. They tend to stick especially close when they sense I am unhappy or not feeling well.

One of my colleagues at Duke, Jennifer Strauss, was featured recently about volunteer work she, her husband, and their dog, Murphy, do at a camp for children who have lost a parent, sibling or other significant person in their lives within the past two years. In the article, Jennifer discusses the connections the children make with Murphy, and how his presence seems to allow them to express feelings that may not be so easy to share with adults.

The physical and mental health benefits of having pets are numerous. If you and your partner already have pets, are you getting the most benefit? If you don’t have pets, is it time to consider getting one?

Bringing up the topic of a partner’s mental illness with family and friends can feel tricky. In some cases, it might be obvious that there is something wrong, but many mental illnesses can’t be detected from the outside. However, that doesn’t mean you and your partner don’t need and deserve support from understanding family and friends.

Asking for that support can feel uncomfortable, though, given the stigma that still exists around mental illness, and cultural perceptions that we should keep personal problems to ourselves.

Every so often, I like to share with my readers resources that I have found elsewhere on the Internet. Today I’d like to introduce you to “Patient Voices,” a New York Times online resource that highlights multiple patient stories for myriad illnesses, including ADHD, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, OCD, PTSD, and schizophrenia. If your partner has one of these illnesses, or perhaps another type of physical illness, these interactive clips may give you new insight into your partner’s experience.

Let me know which ones you watched and what you thought. Also, what are some of your favorite resources for learning about mental illness? Post them in the comments below!