Psych Central

Archive for December, 2012

Sunday Morning Bread and Brie: You & me

Sunday, December 30th, 2012

Cold DaysIt’s Sunday, a cold, chilly day for us Floridians. I’ve turned into such a weather wimp!!…a little breeze and find me my turtleneck, please.  30 years of my life enduring unpredictable, raw and bitterly cold New England Weather that changes in the blink of an eye. I’m now spoiled with the moderate weather here. Yeah, the Summer gets hot and then there’s hurricane season.

I don’t fear hurricanes. (Easy for one to say who hasn’t survived Sandy, eh?) I don’t fear losing all my material possessions…partially because i don’t have much to lose -lol.

However, emotional hurricanes well, that’s other weather! As any Caregiver, Friend or Partner to a chronically ill Partner may say–surviving the emotional hurricane season: ain’t easy!

Thanks for the reminder: Ain’t ain’t a word…i mean “isn’t” a word! :) You’ve probably noticed…unlike my other posts, i’m not too sure what direction this one will take me/us..talking about the weather is usually a non-offensive, neutral topic of discussion.

One observation as a newcomer to Florida was how infrequently people talked about the weather (unless there’s a hurricane on the way). Where i previously lived and grew up, the weather was the automatic conversation starter and stopper. Everybody discussed the weather every day–your life revolved around the weather. Here in FL where it’s mostly nice all the time…nice is predictable and safe and not a worry to discuss.

Do you take NICE for granted?…i don’t!!…may be, that’s why i’m still talking about the weather 11 or so years later and getting about the same response: no where!:) I’ve learned to start conversations in other ways. I value conversation not only because i’m outgoing…As a learner, it’s important to talk to others because others teach you.  If you view others as teachers, you become like a sponge soaking things up constantly. Thanks for not calling me spongebob! Maybe, you’re thinking “Patrick” is more like it!:)

Every new person, every new day, offers new learning opportunities. I don’t view myself as superior to others. Every one has strength/s and qualities superior to me…that i could learn …


Sparkling Spectacle

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Mind photography doesn’t need a camera to capture

the beauty of cold Friday 12/21

Sparkling Spectacle:

The sun glistens on the sparkling water as the crisp, biting air blows my hair

in my face as we race

down the pier!

stare…peer out stare about… not 1 but stairs staring at me…hate being

stared at!

a spectacle

i’m cold

with poncho, ankle boots and jeans

leaning (over the edge)– leading out into the vast brackish water…

piers like peers do end my friend, who knows (when)?! me?

is it fresh? is it salt? mix it up

not my fault!

the stress, mess– i’m drowning, choking under

wonder

of the beach on the coldest day

pray on my rock to my rock

book in hand, let me stand here for a while……………………………….alone,

ALONE?

no!

consoled by the the sun’s heat

please, please don’t break the silence so loud and sweet

my “moment”  my re-”treat”

peace in the sand when the sand’s on the beach and not

in your eye

fly! bird who heard my whispers, don’t share my hidden thoughts (         )… secrets do not exist!

(because secrets dissipate like mist: confessed or revealed by Thee/ by Time-Keeper)

an oyster squirts water

at my daughter

You and i

sky place and space/order and disorder. Beauty in order: the sky in its place, the water in its place and the sand, rocks belonging together…the sight;  for beauty time stops

where am i–body here mind there…disorder?

away

taking me from the stress and aggravation…my lesson:  of selflessness

why must i learn it today?? you asked for it!!

please, let’s stay here for a little while more,

i need the sun on my face and the quiet….Friday morn’ of light

and cold

shivers awaken me, my heart worries, my blood circulates

i’m thankful,

why (?) manipulates MY time…leave me and my time alone!!!….let me be

still–listening

so i can see

clearly sparkling

what i’m suppose to see…what i’m suppose to do

for YOU!:)…l-O-v-E

beckons me off the beach

my boots sink in the sand as i search for your

hand or

a little help!…i will NOT yell…who would hear my cries…not deaf ears but deft eyes

i’ll listen: i’ll obey

today

we run, we play

it’s Friday

will you look away??…it’s brilliantly, blindingly beautiful–

a sparkling spectacle!!

 


Target Audience

Tuesday, December 25th, 2012

Darts“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.” ~Arthur Schopenhauer

Target practice: hitting the bull’s-eye…anyone for a game of darts? or archery? sharp shooting?

Vision precision!

Target: (not talking shopping:) as in long-range like years, centuries and beyond into the future type-target…everybody’s got talent, but got range?? got time??:)

 “As a child, I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene.”—Albert Einstein, German-born scientist.

“For thirty five years of my life I was, in the proper acceptation of the word, nihilist, a man who believed in nothing. Five years ago my faith came to me. I believed in the doctrine of Jesus Christ and my whole life underwent a sudden transformation.”—Count Leo Tolstoy, Russian novelist and philosopher.

“A man who was completely innocent offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.”—Mohandas K. Gandhi, political and spiritual leader of India.

“Shall we suppose the evangelic history a mere fiction? Indeed, my friend, it bears not the marks of fiction. On the contrary, the history of Socrates, which nobody presumes to doubt, is not so well attested as that of Jesus Christ.”—Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher.

“Jesus of Nazareth . . . is easily the dominant figure in history.”—H. G. Wells, English historian.

“[Jesus’] life is the most influential ever lived on this planet and its effect continues to mount.”—Kenneth Scott Latourette, American historian and author.

“I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creation of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him.” — Napoleon Bonaparte

“Being noticed can be a burden. Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. So I disappear a lot.” ~Bob Dylan

“It …


“In” formed & Un-in-formed

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

Are you in? Are you out? Inside?! Outside?! Are you an insider? or an outsider?

(Who likes being left out? excluded, an outsider, shunned?) Being an outsider is not an easy life, eh? Everybody “needs” to belong, right?

Choices. Are you “in” formed? in the know or not…out. In and out. Either you’re inside or you’re outside. Though, one could have one foot in and one foot out…(nope, not dancing the hokey pokey-lol:)

With one foot in and one foot out…what can you accomplish?! What are you accomplishing as a Partner, Caregiver, Person, Friend? Without unity of two feet heading in the same direction…how do you stand on stable ground? how do you walk? how do you progress forward? Tripping over two left feet, won’t get you very far…or limping on two different opinions?…indecisive, vacillating like an oscillating fan.

Are you an oscillating fan?? Or a ceiling fan?! Spinning around in circles?…moving air not much else; other than dust particles clouding your vision and scratching your cornea–OUCH! (yes, have had “literal” cornea issues before and almost went blind in one eye…topic for another post, perhaps?) Enough small talk…big talk next:

 

 

3D Green Planet EarthCreative Commons License photo credit: StockMonkeys.com Creative Commons License photo credit: Thompson Rivers

Around the world billions of people every second are making decisions big and small: informed or uninformed, blind or insightful (depending on your point of view). Do you make informed (educated) decisions? (dumb question, eh?) Everybody thinks, believes (has faith) they make well-informed decisions! We all make decisions/choices based on our “individual” education/awareness and appreciation, sight, knowledge…let’s hope it runs deep…and not shallow!

Does your knowledge run deep? Do you make “wise” long-sighted or short-sighted choices?! Some make patient choices. Others make impatient choices. Some make compassionate choices, some don’t. Personally, i’m working on making more patient, compassionate, long-sighted choices big and small.

“And I proceeded to …


Put Down & Pick Up

Monday, December 17th, 2012

question markSome are asking some: Put down your gun?? what about…

put down your bullets?? Pick up your helping hand?!

put down your fists?? Pick up your compassion?!

put down your video games??  Pick up your book?!

put down your verbal abuse??  Pick up your loving speech?!

put down your alcohol abuse??  Pick up your water?!

put down your cigarettes?? Pick up your (sugarless) gum?!

put down your donuts?? Pick up your veggies?!

put down your over-consumption?? Pick up your conservation?!

put down your self-indulgence?? Pick up your self-sacrifice?!

put down your selfishness?? Pick up your selflessness?!

put down your vengeance?? Pick up your forgiveness?!

put down your prejudice?? Pick up your impartiality?!

put down your war?? Pick up your peace (not piece)?!

put down your hate?? Pick up your love?!

put down your tears?? Pick up your laughter?!

put down your apathy?? Pick up your empathy?!

put down your frown?? Pick up your smile?!

We cannot ask anyone to do anything we are not willing to do ourselves!:) What am i willing to do? What are you willing to do?! Will You/i treat others the way we want to be treated?

Reaching outCreative Commons License photo credit: andrew and hobbes   Creative Commons License photo credit: WingedWolf

What will you put down? What will you pick up? Will you reach out? Will you help someone put down or pick up? Will you take their hand? Will you take my hand? I’ll take yours! :)

Every day we all put down and we all pick up…what pattern are we setting in our putting down and picking up? Love? Compassion? Unselfishness? Forgiveness? Truth? Wellness? Peace? How far will you and i walk? What will you carry? Who will you carry?

LOVE WALKS, RUNS FAR…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… with a little help and a little tenderness…we’ll rise above (poor choices)…we’ll get there!:)


Comfort, Hugs and Hope!

Saturday, December 15th, 2012

sympathy
My Deepest Heartfelt Sympathy to All Directly and Indirectly

Touched byTragedy! 

Our hearts, our thoughts, our prayers, our tears are with the Newtown Community & Beyond!

Comfort, hugs and hope–a balsam to soothe the soul! What is balsam?

Balsam is a general term to describe an oily, resinous substance secreted by various plants and bushes. The fir, spruce and poplar are among balsamiferous trees. Balsamic oil is used medicinally and contains benzoic or cinnamic acid. It is also used as a perfume and is aromatic contrasted by a musty smell. It is applied to wounds! If you read ancient literature, you will come across references to the special healing properties of balsam.

Wounds…many are wounded and J’ai le coeur brise: heartbroken, mindbroken, crushed over the school massacre in Connecticut. Others are crushed and heartbroken by compounded tragedy that has touched their lives through the years. Many are mourning and in need of hugs, comforting words, hope…balsam.

“When I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.”—PSALM 94:19, Contemporary English Version

What do you need? What can you give? Who can you help feel secure?

Can you choose to live in a manner that reflects your deep appreciation, respect and love for life?! Can you choose compassion? Who in your path can you reach with a kind word of encouragement?…can you say hello to a neighbor you may have previously ignored? Can you do an act of thoughtfulness for another breathing-fragile life today?? every day?? Can you choose unselfishness??

Every breath we take is a privilege not to be taken for granted! Let’s live in a manner that shows we respect other breathing-fragile life. Choosing to live in a negative, damaging, selfish manner destroys. Choosing to live in a positive, healing, helpful, selfless manner builds!:)

What can you help build today? Who can you help heal…by being kind, unselfish and forgiving?! Can you promote peace? Yes, You Can!…Thank You for promoting peace!:)

It will be easy for some to hate. Hate the horrific act. Hate the tragedy. Hate the violence…don’t glorify it or perpetuate it! Please, let’s …


12.12.12

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Spinning in the BreezeIn art theory: 12 basic hues belong to the color wheel: 3 primary, 3 secondary, 6 tertiary…the whole wheel is beautiful, eh?! THANKS to my Readers & fellow Bloggers here @ Psych Central!:)

Partners in Wellness w/jw: 12 Posts in Review for 2012:

12 hues that flew into my field of vision! (Did they fly into yours?:)

2 Keys to Happier Relationships & Partnerships

Got Lemons, Now What?

Who’s in Your Heart?

Forgiveness Fixes: How to Let Go of the Negative and Repair Relationships

Extreme Behavior Emergency Survival Kit

Partners in Wellness: Appreciated, Part 2: Relief and Understanding

No Excuses – Empathy Needed

Women deserve DIGNITY not discrimination!

Climbing Your Mountain/Reaching Your Goal: 4 Tips!

3 Tips for Dealing with Disappointment and Discouragement

Corruption Perception Index: How do You Rank?

Chocolate Genius

Stop? Don’t Stop? (self-control essential!) Your choice! Should walls be white? Should walls be colored? How about both? Do you color on walls? Do you let your kids color on walls?? Please consider the consequences of Stop! or Don’t Stop!:)

May be, you only color in predetermined lines and spaces? May be, you color outside the lines? Are you color-blind? or wall-blind? or line-blind? or boundary-blind? Actually, boundaries do serve as protections! :)

Compassion adapts to all those variables…blind to lines, blind to …


Nurturing Seedlings 3

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Ebb and flow, high and low…even severe problems (challenges) are only TEMPORARY! :)

Do you like ancient history? (Kinda like reading “old” news on-line.) Depending on your perspective of the concept “time”…ancient could very well be current.

Do you manipulate time or does time manipulate you?! How do you manage your time? or life? Does compassion manage your time? What time is it??

For me, it’s always the right time to learn…(and the right time to be compassionate!:)

THANKS for joining me for Nurturing Seedlings 3…a time endeavor…(Did you read Nurturing Seedlings 1 & 2?)

Role-models, in my opinion (whatever that’s worth?-lol:)…are an important component in nurturing seedlings. All of us could benefit by a positive role-model. Especially, younger, immature life. Parents who would like to build positive-leadership traits in their kids may seek out modern role-models or ancient role-models for their kids to study. Both can be very instructive and beneficial!

Positive role-models can teach us not to cave into negative peer pressure to conform to non-compassionate (damaging) behavior.

The year is 1514 B.C.E. and a shepherd sees a great phenomenon. What is it? A fiery thornbush. This bush is on fire. Yet, it’s not being consumed. It’s burning without being burnt up! Wow!

So the shepherd gets closer to check it out…and hears a voice calling him by his name…the voice is coming from the bush…(curious or would you be afraid?)

Who’s calling whom?? The Shepherd is Moses. (BTW: This ancient shepherd who some would describe as “ordinary” is highly respected by many including: Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc. His leadership qualities are timeless and transcend religion. You gotta respect someone who is raised in royalty, gives up a super comfortable life-style amid many luxuries and advantages materially, academically, etc. chooses to be ill-treated with poor slaves in order to help them…becomes a courageous leader.) May be, Moses realized the pleasure and the pain is all temporary…

Who’s calling Moses? The voice from the non-burning-up bush says: “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.”…what’s interesting about this is…the patriarchs …


Nurturing Seedlings 2

Monday, December 10th, 2012

Okay SignHAPPY Monday to You!:) Thank You for nurturing seedlings and for joining me here! (Have you had the opportunity to read Nurturing Seedlings 1?)

Is your day going well? Is everything OKAY? What do i mean by okay?

Well, IF you’re living love, your day may not be an easy one, but it will be fulfilling, satisfying and purposeful: OKAY!:)

An Okay day of living love will involve inconvenience, discomfort, sacrifice, work and most likely a bit of pain (i.e. pain in the neck and/or pain in the butt!:) You may have to do something for someone you really don’t feel like doing! You may have to do something you don’t want or like for someone you don’t like…Yet!:)

(Funny how we learn to like…blog fodder for another post, eh?)

We all have our limits and thresholds for pain, etc….Can you afford 1 act of unselfishness or 1 deliberate act of kindness toward breathing-fragile life?!…Start with 1 act (step) and work your way forward…on your personal path of compassion. YOU CAN DO IT!:) You can live compassion…1 small act of love at a time!

Compassion involves freedom from arrogance and pride.Arrogance and pride can hinder and limit unselfish love expressed toward others. Humility can make life easier for those around us. When we are less demanding, we give more…if we view others as inferior, their needs are less important than our personal needs. When we cultivate a humble, respectful attitude, we give others our full attention, we empathize, we console, we forgive…we encourage and support fragile life…All of Us need encouragement to keep going. We need to know: “It’ll be OKAY!”:)

i LOVE the following quote:

“Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power.”~ 19th Century author, Robert G. Ingersoll

Each of us has a measure of power over someone or something in …


Nurturing Seedlings 1

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Dr. Stephen Bavolek writes, “[C]ontemporary social scientists agree that the continued maltreatment of children today is primarily the result of poorly trained adults who, in their roles as parents and caretakers, attempt to instill discipline and educate children within the context of the violence they themselves experienced as children.”

I would expand by adding: parents and caretakers attempt (try their best with what they have) to care for/communicate/educate their children within the context of their personal compassion (love) literacy (or lack thereof) and compassion education (or lack thereof) they themselves experienced as: children/teens/time (life experience with or without compassion in varying degrees) before parenthood.

Same can be said for religious/spiritual literacy and education, ethnic/cultural literacy and education, ethic literacy and education,  morality literacy and education, tolerance literacy and education, academic literacy and education, etc….you get the picture?

Disturbing Statistics from www.childhelp.org

  • A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
  • *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.2
  • Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. 1
  • It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. 3
  • More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. 4
  • Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
  • About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. 5
  • About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 5
  • The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion. 6
  • 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. 7
  • 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 7
  • Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent …

 

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