Forgiveness Fixes: How to Let Go of the Negative and Repair Relationships
Thanks for reading Part 1: “It Stings, but BEE FORGIVING!” Let’s pick up the conversation here with Part 2: “Forgiveness Fixes!”
Let’s respect and acknowledge that getting past pain differs with each individual because we all have different thresholds for pain. We all have different tolerance levels.
Emotional and physical sickness can be the result of pent-up, negative emotions. Learning to successfully and positively manage negative, painful, damaging emotion is critical to well-being.
Do you freely forgive? How are you managing your negative emotion as a caregiver and partner? Do you have a positive role-model in your life from whom you can learn effective stratagem? Find one fast.
Positive role-models are key to learning positive behavior.
Positive behavior brings happiness and peace! Exhibiting unselfish love is a positive behavior. What is my behavior? Is it positive or negative? What can I work on? (i have LOTS to work on!) How about you?
Broken relationships and broken communications result from a lack of forgiveness.
When something is broken, it needs to be fixed.
Yes, we could throw it away, and purchase a brand-new item to replace it. Are you sentimental? Attached? You may loose that inner satisfaction of repairing, and the growing, learning process involved in finding solutions that fix. You may loose out on learning forgiveness survival skills as well. Will you attempt repair? Recycle? Fixing can be fun sometimes!
Some things, like people, are irreplaceable.
Mistake. Repeat? Pain. Mistake. Repeat? Pain. Mistake. CHANGE? PEACE!
Anything broken doesn’t work well or efficiently, but costs us something. Often, it’s time. Time is life. Time is money. Do you really want to spend more time or more money (figuratively or literally)? Is it worth it?
It is not a waste of time to try to fix something worth fixing!
People and relationships are worth fixing!
Can we learn from our mistakes, change and not repeat them?
Do some math. What is costing you more: going out and finding a brand-new person (item), or repairing it? Will it be less costly emotionally to repair the relationship or situation? Changing our negative behavior may be the least costly/least painful. A lot to think deeply about, huh?
Don’t throw away people, throw problems away. Throw trash away. People are not trash!
They make act trashy, but separate the person from the problem, if at all possible. Why did this person act the way they did? Say what they said? What was their motivation? Are they a victim, too? Is this a cry for help? Do they lack education, social skills, tolerance? Are they sick?
Can I sympathize or empathize with the wrongdoer? Did I contribute to the unhappy outcome at all? What can I do to improve the situation? Can I change my attitude? Will changing my reactions benefit the situation? How will forgiveness help everyone involved? How will forgiveness help me be well?
Yes, the person who wronged you/me will reap the sad consequences of their actions! You/me will reap the consequences of our actions, too. A fact of life none can avoid…”You reap what you sow.”
If we make a mess, the mess needs to be cleaned up. Do we clean up our own messes?
When we don’t clean up our messes…what a waste of happiness, peace, tranquility and years of life we could be enjoying, clutter-free! Do you want to spend precious time, energy and life on resentment, vengeance or hatred and destruction toward others? Pain, pain and more pain??
Don’t let someone’s sick actions negatively control your life and its direction. By forgiving, you are choosing wellness! (Forgiveness helps fix.) Don’t we all need fixing of some sort? Remember, you’re in the driver’s seat, not somebody else. Are you handing over the keys to your car? It’s your car (your life) — OWN IT!
Thank You much for reading Part 2 on this important topic of forgiveness! Part 3 is next.
Hoping this song ENCOURAGES ALL OF US to do what we have to do to fix it:photo credit: paul bica Image 1 – rajue Image 2 – Raúl G. Huergo Image 3
Winifred, J. (2013). Forgiveness Fixes: How to Let Go of the Negative and Repair Relationships. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 30, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/wellness/2012/08/forgiveness-fixes-partners-in-wellness/