Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

{via etsy}

Body image goes beyond loving your body to really loving yourself. Like anything else it’s a process, and I know that self-love can sound intimidating and maybe even abstract.

That’s why I love photographer and blogger Vivenne McMaster’s current series, “14 Days of Self-Love,” on her beautiful blog. For 14 days, a different contributor offers their take on self-love along with an activity for learning and practicing self-love.

Here are a few of my favorite posts in the series (I’m summarized them briefly, but you need to check out the entire posts — they’re amazing):

Take self-portraits. This is a powerful exercise from Valerie Tookes that includes a camera, journal and printer. You take photos of yourself every day. Each day, you pick one image that “gives voice to something about you that day.” Print that image and paste it in your journal. Then complete this sentence: “I love you today because….”

Get to know yourself. As Susannah Conway writes, “To fall in love with ourselves we have to get to know ourselves first. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said a great marriage was one where the conversation never ended. This is what we want with ourselves: the conversation. The getting to-know-you part of the courtship. The intrigue, and then the honesty.”

She suggests the following activities, which have been helpful for her, too: to keep asking the question “How do I feel about this?” about a certain situation or memory; to check in with your needs; and to carve out alone and quiet time to journal, wehther that’s recording your feelings, writing love letters or creating lists.

Create a self-love ceremony. One weekend Stacy de la Rosa took a solo trip to create her own commitment ceremony where she made specific vows to herself. As she writes, “For me it was a way to honor my true self in the same way I honor those I also have commitments to in my life: namely my husband and my children.”

If you can’t take a solo trip, take some time at home to write vows to yourself. Maybe you light a few candles, turn on your favorite music and read these vows aloud — whatever feels the most appropriate and special to you.

Practice radical self-love daily. Andrea Schroeder spells out what radical self-love means, explores why self-love is hard to act on and encourages readers to practice radical self-love every day.

You can also contemplate what radical self-love means to you or adopt her beautiful definition.

What does self-love mean to you? How do you practice it? What do you think about the above tips? 

P.S., I’m absolutely honored to be guest posting on Mara’s Medicinal Marzipan today. I love her blog! I wrote about the power of writing, and I hope you’ll check it out. Let me know what you think.

{Sui’s beautiful e-book}

We talked about self-care on Monday, about how we can add short activities to our day that help us feel more alive or more relaxed or healthier overall.

But I think self-care is also a mindset, a belief system. It’s a mini philosophy that guides how you approach life and yourself.

It’s not just bursts of activities; it’s the bigger picture. It’s nourishing and honoring ourselves.

For instance, I’ve realized that my definition of self-care can be summarized into one word: listen.

It’s listening to my body, heart and mind. It’s listening to my needs. From the basics of eating when I’m hungry, working out when I’m anxious, taking a nap when I’m exhausted to the more complex of doing what I love and having healthy relationships.

Of course, it’s always a work in progress. Some days my body yearns for more sleep, but I drag myself out of bed anyway. Other days it yearns for a rich, home-cooked meal and my boyfriend and I have just enough energy to make tuna melts. (And by “my boyfriend and I,” I mean just him.)

While self-care might not always be at the forefront, it can still serve as your barometer for living life healthfully. Because when you’re listening to yourself, you find out what feels good and what doesn’t — and try your best to do what feels right to you. You make the decision to bring certain people into your world and leave others out. You pursue particular passions, and ignore the rest. You engage in physical activities that are fun and freeing and pass on the ones that aren’t. You pick up your wants and needs and relinquish the shoulds. 

You might not have time to take a bath, but you say no to a party with toxic people. You might not have time to watch your favorite movie, but you make yourself a sandwich when your stomach grumbles.

Self-care is also listening to your needs, to the whispers of your body without judgment. As Ashley, who writes one of my favorite blogs, Nourishing the Soul, recently explained in this post:

But one thing I’ve learned is that when I pack my schedule full of “self-care” activities – when I try to jam in eleven supposedly relaxing activities into one day – I find myself totally burnt out. And when I stop listening to my body, I feel drained and depleted.

It usually starts out subtly. I notice a nagging that feels like a pulling inside my chest. When I start to listen a little more closely I notice that my mind is keeping pace – it’s starting to whisper that I really don’t feel like practicing Spanish tonight. The voice usually gets louder until I have to pay attention to it – and I have to make a decision. At that point I notice that there might be one part of my brain that tries to convince me that my lack of interest is related to me being a.) lazy b.) a wimp c.) dull. I’ve found that I have to just notice these thoughts and not allow myself to attach to them. [Minds do funny things!]

I have to go back to the feeling – usually in my body – and try to evaluate what’s really going on. Maybe I’m just tired after a long day and I don’t have the mental energy for Spanish tonight. Maybe my body is trying to gently tell me that I really don’t even care about learning Spanish. Or maybe it’s telling me that it’s just not the right time in my life to be committing to this particular endeavor. Whatever it is, giving myself space to look a little more deeply, with curiosity instead of judgment, allows for some powerful revelations.

I started thinking more about self-care after contributing to Sui Soltaire’s newest e-book Kindness Sprouts. It’s a beautiful e-book filled with thoughts on self-care from 40 others (including Ashley). All the proceeds go to Sprout Yoga, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping those who are healing from eating disorders by providing them with free yoga. You can learn more here.

How do you approach self-care? What does self-care mean to you? 

{the awesome More of Me to Love logo}

Yesterday, I introduced you to Jay Solomon, co-founder of the fantastic website More of Me to Love, a positive place that helps people of all shapes and sizes live healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Solomon regularly writes about size acceptance and Health At Every Size. He also writes about religion and popular culture — such as his book The Zen of South Park.

Below, in the second part of our interview, Solomon talks more about weight stigma — and how you can help to fight it! — changing our society’s damaging standards and much more.

Q: What can readers do to fight weight stigma and size discrimination? 

A: The number one thing to do to fight weight stigma and size discrimination is to love your body exactly as it is and never try to change your body’s size or weight because our culture says you should. Body love, especially of larger bodies, is in and of itself an act of defiance.

In the former Soviet Union there were musicians whose records were prohibited to own. In their own way, some people defied their fascist governments not by outright revolt but by refusing to discard their banned albums and listening to them quietly in their cellars — by possessing contraband.

That may not seem like a huge act of defiance, but those people were pushing back. Fat bodies are our culture’s contraband. Keeping yours, treating it well and enjoying it is the first way to fight weight stigma and size discrimination.

If you want to take a more vocal stand, More of Me to Love is currently sponsoring The Billboard Project in Atlanta, GA, one of a half dozen projects that form a coalition called Stand4Every Body. We’re pushing back against billboards in Atlanta that call fat children ugly, blame parents and say that fatness ends at home.

This is unimaginably hateful and fat-shaming, and if you want to be a part of stopping it, go here: http://www.gofundme.com/dp16w.

Q: If you could change a few things about our diet- and weight-obsessed society, what would they be?

A: For starters, I would require disclaimers to appear on “beauty” magazines that said, “This person has been air-brushed and doesn’t really look this way.” We have to start understanding that our culture’s beauty standards aren’t even represented by real people but by real people whose appearances have been altered by computers.

I would also require independent studies to be performed for all diets and weight loss methods in an FDA kind of way, and that minimum requirements for approval include an 80% success rate over three years. Diets should require long-term phase III clinical trials. Only after passing such trials could a diet be sold to the public.

Considering that no diet has a proven success rate of more than 5% of people retaining relevant weight loss after 3 years, no diet would continue to be paid for and we could focus our money and attention on actually useful endeavors.

After all, if we paid for medicine that we learned at best were sugar pills and at worst were harming us in the long run, we’d expect the FDA to step in and say, “Okay, Company X, you can’t sell that anymore, we’re fining you and you have to compensate all those who paid for your lies.”

I’m not into big government, but I do believe it’s a failing on the part of our government that we haven’t been protected from what amount to little more than hoaxes.

Admittedly, both of those reforms are top-down means of exposing the specious cultural notion that we have to be thin to be happy and healthy.

Better that individuals start to focus on behaviors as a means of becoming healthier rather than weight and size. Better that we start loving ourselves.

I wish Health At Every Size was taught in medical schools as an alternative to conventional weight loss so that more doctors at least had the option of sharing the approach with their patients.

Q: I used to think that in order to be truly healthy, I had to diet. It’s what I’d heard on TV and what I’d read in magazines. But, of course, dieting is not necessary to nourish your body and can be harmful in many ways. When did you first realize that diets don’t really work? 

A: As I was researching the “diet that would finally work” for a loved one, I came across the Health At Every Size movement and started reading. Though it was a bit shocking at first, I learned as I continued to do my research that diets don’t work.

I believed my whole life that they did because, like you, I’d been told that they did, but I started thinking back to all of the people I knew who were fat and had tried so hard to be thin — and so unsuccessfully.

I assure you that fat people aren’t fat for lack of trying. The evidence is that diets don’t work, but we’re so convinced that they do that we just accept that without looking around us.

Q: Anything else you’d like readers to know about “More of Me to Love,” body image, weight stigma or a related topic?

A: I’ve probably preached enough, so I’ll leave your readers with a little basic information. More of Me to Love is a community that’s totally free. We have a dozen blogs that post great content weekly about specific ways to eat intuitively, move joyfully and love your body, as well as tons more topics like plus-sized fashion, size acceptance activism and more.

We’d love for you to join, read, get involved with our weekly wisdom, tips, forums, resource center and more.

If no one has told you today that you are beautiful, allow me to say so. You are beautiful. I hope you’ll go look in the mirror sometime today and tell yourself — aloud — the same thing.

Like I said, health and happiness start with self-love.

—

Thanks so much to Jay Solomon for this powerful interview!

I’ve loved the website More of Me to Love for a long time. It’s a positive and inspiring space that provides valuable insight on building a healthier body image and life — for everyone. Its blogs are written by experts who offer tons of helpful tools on everything from nourishing your body to finding movement you love.

So today I’m thrilled to present my interview with its co-founder Jay Solomon. As Solomon says, More of Me to Love is “a place for people of all sizes to learn to love their bodies and themselves.” Along with his wife and team, Solomon has spent three years building this valuable site.

Solomon has studied and written about the importance of rights, respect and acceptance for all people. In addition to writing about religion and popular culture, including his first book, The Zen of South Park, Solomon writes and blogs about Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size to stop discrimination however he can.

Below, he reveals why he started More of Me to Love and clears up the many myths behind Health At Every Size.

(By the way, here’s more info about that picture up top.)

Q: What inspired you to start “More of Me to Love”?

A: My wife, Eszter, and I started More of Me to Love because we were tired of watching the larger people in our lives hate themselves and their bodies because they were bigger.

We watched them diet weight off and gain it back again, over and over. And with that weight cycling so cycled their self-esteem and self-image. It was terrible to watch, and it didn’t make any sense to us. I actually believed that I was going to help these loved ones by finding “the diet that worked,” and so I began my research.

What I ultimately discovered was the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement and network. After reading the research supporting HAES and looking in greater detail at dieting and the diet industry, I became an ardent supporter of an intuitive eating, enjoyable body movement and unconditional body love approach to health and life.

Q: I absolutely love your tagline “Size doesn’t matter. You Do.” What is your message with this tagline and your website overall?

A: It’s in part a play on words of the risqué question, “Does size matter?” We’ve opted to declare definitively that size — body size — doesn’t matter.

What matters is the individual. This goes back to what inspired us to start More of Me to Love. It was this misguided notion that people couldn’t love their bodies and by proxy themselves unless they were thin — the whole, “in 5 lbs” attitude (i.e., I’ll buy that dress/go on vacation/start dating when I lose 5 more pounds).

We call shenanigans on that attitude, and believe that you have to start from a place of self-love — of believing that you, as a person in mind, body and spirit, matter. To do that and as a result of our weight-obsessed culture, we have to accept first that size doesn’t matter.

Once we accept that size doesn’t matter we strive for greater happiness and healthiness, knowing that neither depends on our weight or size.

Q: Unfortunately, there are many myths about Health At Every Size. What are the biggest myths that you’d like to clear up? 

A: The biggest and most heinous myth is that Health At Every Size is a “non-diet way to lose weight.” First of all, there’s no such thing as a “non-diet way to lose weight.” That’s a sophist’s way of saying “diet.”

Health At Every Size is a weight-neutral approach to health that promotes intuitive eating, enjoyable body movement and positive self-image. While slight fluctuations in weight can happen as people learn to listen to their bodies about hunger and satiety, these fluctuations are neither the goal nor “progress.” In fact, some people gain weight when they adopt a Health At Every Size approach because they cease the disordered eating that kept their body weight unnaturally low.

The second myth I dislike is this misguided notion that Health At Every Size condones and encourages obesity. Setting aside my distaste for the medicalized term obesity, this idea of “encouraging obesity” is absurd.

That’s like saying that eating food encourages obesity. Neither of these ideas makes sense because obesity and Health At Every Size have surprisingly little to do with one another.

Health At Every Size is an approach to health for people of all body sizes, shapes and weights. Hence the inclusive word “every.”

The approach is a behavior-centered weight-neutral one rather than a weight-centered one. In this way, Health At Every Size recognizes the natural diversity in bodies, does not prize any one shape or size over any other, and allows everyone to pursue health in a natural, personal and egalitarian way. That’s not encouraging obesity — it’s encouraging health.

Q: Our society seems to think that having people of all sizes appreciating and loving their bodies will somehow lead to being unhealthy and neglecting self-care. What do you think about this notion?

A: I think that it’s absurd, as I imagine my previous answers indicate. The number one thing I’ve learned working on More of Me to Love is that people who love their bodies take care of their bodies and strive to be healthier.

People who are dieting and trying to lose weight — whether fat or thin — do not love their bodies, and they are not actually taking care of their health as much as they are trying to lose weight.

Moreover, the actual act of losing too much weight (more than about 15 pounds or 10% of body weight) has been proven to be damaging to one’s health both in and of itself and as a result of subsequent weight cycling.

That is, whether or not being thinner is healthier than being fatter, the actual act of dieting is unhealthy. Therefore, it’s better to be the size one is — accept, embrace and love one’s body at that size — and strive for health through healthful behaviors.

Simply by virtue of loving your body you’ll be more inclined to do the behaviors that make it healthy. Once again, a behavior-centered approach to health starts with body love.

—

Stay tuned tomorrow for part two of our interview!

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

{via etsy}

Self-care is a pivotal part of a positive body image. But many people neglect to take good care of themselves because they don’t think they have the time in their already hectic schedules. Their days involve hopping from task to task with very little downtime.

For instance, you might be able to relate to what blogger and illustrator Elizabeth Patch recently wrote in this post:

In reality, however,
my life is a jumble of multi-tasking events
as I run from job to home to chore to obligation.
It consists of a zillion little things that seem incredibly important to accomplish,
but actually add up to a chronic feeling of
exhaustion and stress.

But Elizabeth realized something that many of us often forget: We can find 15 minutes in our day to practice self-care. These are some of the examples she came up with for herself:

15 minutes in the shower to just feel the calming heat of the water,
instead of making lists for the day ahead (or feeling irritated by the dirty, out-of-date bathroom).

15 minutes to stretch my neck and shoulders during my lunch break.

15 minutes to walk around my suburban backyard before I go inside and take care of my family.

15 minutes to cut up some fruit, or make myself a sandwich or scramble some eggs,
rather than mindlessly eat from a bag of chips while wondering what to eat.

15 minutes to write in a journal, even if I have to stop mid-sentence.

15 minutes to doodle in a sketchpad, even if I have to stop mid-drawing.

15 minutes to actually start following my dreams, even if it is a very pared down version of the dream!

So when you have a few minutes, make a list of quick activities you can do every day. What activities will put a smile on your face or make you feel more rested, more alive or more at peace? What activities will add to your health and well-being? What activities will improve your body image?

Here are some other ideas to spark your brainstorming session:

• Stretch and take deep breaths
• Listen to your favorite tunes
• Take a bath
• Read a few pages from a book
• Read a religious text
• Take a walk around the block
• Have lunch outside the office
• Close your eyes, and picture yourself somewhere serene
• Massage your hands and feet
• Give yourself a mini-pedicure or soak your feet in a warm basin
• Make yourself a cup of green tea and drink it without any distractions
• Do a short yoga video — even just one pose will feel refreshing
• Create a gratitude journal and write three things you’re grateful for every day
• Catch up with a loved one on the phone
• When at the grocery store, buy a bouquet of flowers or a small plant for yourself

Below, please share one or two self-care activities you’ll add to your day. 

{via etsy}

Unfortunately, there are still many myths about eating disorders in our society — everything from eating disorders are a choice to eating disorders only affect women. In addition to the plethora of misconceptions, there’s also problems with insurance coverage (i.e., the lack thereof). And many individuals with eating disorders and their loved ones don’t know where to find treatment or what treatment even entails.

Fortunately, though, there are many, many incredible people advocating for eating disorder awareness and services on every level, whether they’re at universities conducting research, at Washington lobbying for education, resources and insurance coverage, or at home writing and sharing their stories online.

And whether you’ve struggled and recovered from an eating disorder or you’ve never had an ED, you can make a difference, too.

If you’ve wanted to contribute your voice and your time to eating disorder awareness, consider becoming an activist. You can help to spread accurate information about eating disorders and their treatment along with hope that recovery is absolutely possible for everyone.

There are many different ways to help. Theresa Fassihi, a clinical psychologist, and Kitty Westin, president of The Emily Program Foundation , offer valuable suggestions in Aimee Liu’s excellent book Restoring Our Bodies, Reclaiming Our Lives: Guidance and Reflections on Recovery From Eating Disorders. 

• Help out a local support group.
• Write a recovery blog or join a support forum to share your experiences and encourage others.
• Seen or heard a segment on eating disorders? Write letters to your local paper or call in to a radio show.
• Join organizations that advocate for better access to effective treatment and better insurance coverage.
• Become active in eating disorder organizations such as the Academy for Eating Disorders.
• Talk to local treatment centers about activities to spread eating disorder awareness.
• Work with your school or local hospital to create education and awareness programs for eating disorders.

Here are my additional suggestions:

• Offer to tell your story on another blog. For instance, many people have shared their stories of recovery on Weightless. (By the way, if you’d like to share your story, please email me: mtartakovsky@gmail.com). So even if you don’t have your own blog, you can still spread hope and awareness. If you don’t have an eating disorder, offer to write a guest post clarifying ED facts or providing other helpful info.
• Join the Eating Disorders Coalition, whose mission is to “advance the federal recognition of eating disorders as a public health priority.”
• Volunteer for F.E.A.S.T (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders), which is a great organization! It’s also a member of the Eating Disorders Coalition. According to their website: “F.E.A.S.T. is an international organization of and for parents and caregivers to help loved ones recover from eating disorders by providing information and mutual support, promoting evidence-based treatment, and advocating for research and education to reduce the suffering associated with eating disorders.”
• If you’re able to, donate money to ED organizations.
• Hear misinformation about eating disorders in a conversation? Set the record straight. I’ve heard people minimize and belittle eating disorders. Or voice other ignorant things. If you hear such things, offer to share accurate information. Even just a short explanation can open someone’s eyes to the realities of EDs.

Alicia of Psych Central’s Celebrity Psychings also has three great tips on advocating for mental health.

What other ways can people spread eating disorder awareness and become activists? 

{via etsy}

A poor body image has a way of making you forget about the amazing moments in life, both big and small. It has a way of either helping you ignore them or stomping on them altogether. It has a way of making a positive occasion into a negative one. A compliment into an insult.

Instead of focusing on the beauty of a bouquet of flowers, you’re focused on the shape of your thighs. Instead of enjoying chatting with your friends, you’re conscious about the number of calories you’ve consumed.

Instead of enjoying a soothing walk and the stunning surroundings, you’re zeroed in on the mileage you’re making. Instead of getting excited about a beautiful occasion, you’re miserable in the fitting room, trying on your 10th outfit.

Recently a powerful post popped up in my Google Reader: Danielle LaPorte’s “In Honor of the Fact That Life is Short.”

Here’s an excerpt:

wear your white shirts. get them pressed.
use your good dishes — everyday.
shave on weekends.

do not wait for special occasions.
do not tuck your best away in the drawers, in the back of the closet, in your heart.
don’t wait for holidays or invitations.

declare that your today is the special occasion.

call instead of emailing. (it feels so good to connect.)
go for coffee.

quit.

renounce your glory days. you’ve told all of those stories more than twice.
focus forward.

wear perfume for yourself. toss your only-wear-around-the-house clothes and let your good clothes graduate to around-the-house status.
intend to feel good all of the time.

As soon as I read these words, I immediately started thinking about how I want to spend my life. The reality is that life is short.

And sometimes, when we’re deep in body dissatisfaction or nit-picking a few parts, we forget that. When we’re focused on the number on the scale or the size on our clothing, we forget that. When our shaky body image dictates our shaky self-esteem, we forget that.

So it can help to put life into perspective, to remind ourselves of the brighter present and future. To remind ourselves to enjoy life more. And stop berating ourselves.

Below are some of my thoughts on how I’d like to live life. I hope they inspire you to think about how you’d like to live yours. In fact, if you like, write down your own body image/life mantras, and keep the list somewhere handy and visible, so you rarely forget.

Because life is short, I’d like to think less about my hips and more on meaningful thoughts and taking action.

Because life is short, I’d like to nitpick less and laugh more.

Because life is short, I’d like to be less distracted with the superficial and more focused on what counts.

Because life is short, I’d like to eat foods that nourish my mind and body and taste really, really good. Like oranges, grapes, carrots, blackberries, dark chocolate with hazelnuts, bang-bang shrimp and seafood chowder at Bonefish and New York style pizza.

Because life is short, I’d like to write the things that make my heart skip a beat. Not always. But most of the time.

Because life is short, I’d like to relax my worrywart ways.

Because life is short, I’d like to use my eyes to truly see the little triumphs.

Because life is short, I’d like to look at pomegranates like the above photographer does.

Because life is short, I’d like to spend it dancing and drawing and getting lost in good books.

Because life is short, I’d like to move in enjoyable ways.

Because life is short, I’d like to focus less on my hangups and shortcomings and more on my loved ones, my goals, my creativity and traveling.

Because life is short, I’d like to take more pictures, give more hugs and smile more often.

Because life is short, what do you want to focus on? 

{via}

About a year ago, I was looking for a therapist who specializes in eating disorders for a friend. I researched several professionals online and decided to call each office to speak with them over the phone. I called one office, and like I had with the others, asked the receptionist to speak with the psychologist. I explained that I had a few questions about her treatment practices and would take up several minutes of her time.

The receptionist’s answer? No. I was a bit taken back, so I repeated myself. But, according to the receptionist, the psychologist never speaks over the phone. That’s her policy, and that was that.

I was so turned off by this person and her policy that I’m still irritated. (Within seconds, I crossed her off the list.) Interestingly, the other therapists I contacted were happy to answer my questions and speak with me about their treatment methods.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. Or maybe you’re looking for a therapist and have no clue where to start. Or what a good therapist even looks like.

Finding a good therapist can be overwhelming. That’s why, today, I’d like to share with you several tips from Sarah Ravin, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who specializes in eating disorders. I’ve interviewed Ravin before, and she’s incredibly knowledgable and skilled.

On her blog, she’s written an excellent post on how to find a good therapist.  According to Ravin, “Having a good therapist is a powerful predictor of your chances for recovery, so it is important to take the therapist selection process seriously.”

For starters, if a therapist flat-out refuses to speak to you over the phone or answer your questions, that’s a red flag. (If they’re busy at the moment, the receptionist should take down your contact info and the therapist should return your call.) It shows they’re not open or accessible. And open and accessible is what you want in a clinician.

Your treatment should not be a secret. Fortunately, most therapists will do a free consultation over the phone for about 10 to 15 minutes.

Choosing a therapist based on location, insurance coverage or experience is not helpful. According to Ravin,

Choosing a therapist based on proximity alone is not a good idea. The therapist closest to you may not be a good fit for you. Choosing a therapist based on insurance alone is also not a good idea because many therapists don’t take insurance. Further, if you do use your insurance to pay for treatment, the insurance company will likely request a great deal of personal information about your mental health conditions, may discriminate against you based on diagnosis (or lack thereof), and will probably limit the number of sessions you can receive. Getting personal recommendations for therapists is tricky because it involves disclosing at least some personal information to a friend or colleague, and many people are not comfortable doing that. It is not always wise to choose a therapist based on how much experience she has in the field, because many therapists who have been practicing for decades remain entrenched in antiquated theories of mental disorders and practice less effective treatments Also, if you are a young person, it may feel more comfortable to talk to someone closer to your age who can relate to you more easily and who has a better understanding of your generational issues.

As far as what is helpful, Ravin recommends readers do extensive research on eating disorders and effective treatment and find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and uses well-researched, successful treatments.

You’ll probably find this information on the therapist’s website. For example, Ravin plainly lays out her education and training on this page and her treatment methods on this page.

Don’t hesitate to call prospective therapists and talk to them over the phone. Ask questions about their knowledge of eating disorders and how they treat EDs. Ravin has written another thorough blog post about which responses serve as red flags.

For instance, some red flags that Ravin mentions are: not knowing the etiology of eating disorders; blaming the parents or patient for the ED; not discussing their treatment methods and explaining the reasoning behind them; or believing that people don’t recover from EDs.

Also, ask how many of their patients have actually recovered. For instance, Ravin suggests asking the number of patients the therapist has treated in a three-year period and how many of those have recovered. “If she hems and haws, or describes therapy as a lifelong journey, or claims that one never recovers from your particular disorder, move on to someone else,” she writes.

Finally, Ravin suggests choosing therapists with a Ph.D or Psy.D and checking out university clinics or academic medical centers. She writes:

University-based mental health clinics and academic medical centers are excellent places to seek psychological treatment. Many of them offer low-cost services or provide treatment for free as part of research studies. The therapists are typically doctoral-level graduate students, pre-doctoral psychology interns, and/or post-doctoral residents, all of whom are closely supervised by licensed clinical psychologists. Advanced graduate students, interns, and post-docs tend to make excellent therapists because they are young, idealistic, energetic, fully informed about recent advances in the research and practice of therapy, well-trained, and constantly evaluated on their performance.

Please be sure to check out both of Ravin’s valuable posts on picking a therapist and red flags.

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

{via etsy}

Last Friday, we talked about how magnificent our bodies truly are. These facts came from Glenn Schiraldi’s book 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem. As he writes, “The way we experience our body typically corresponds to the way we experience our core selves.”

So appreciating our bodies can help us appreciate ourselves as a whole. It can help us become more accepting and more positive. To essentially put down the whip and stop berating ourselves as much as we do.

Today, I’d like to share an activity that further helps you learn to appreciate your body. It involves just you and a mirror.

I know this might sound intimidating at first. But give it a try…gently. Instead of fixating on supposed flaws, be curious when looking at your reflection.

(I practiced being curious — instead of critical — last week when I was taking self-portraits for my photography e-course.)

In 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem, Schiraldi, Ph.D, writes:

 As often as you can, stand briefly in front of a mirror or look directly at your body. Instead of noticing what’s wrong (such as a blemish, bags under your eyes, or wrinkles), notice what is right, what is working. Pay attention to your hair, your clean skin, your ability to stand and move, or the color of your eyes. You might consider the wonders [of your body]. If you are stumped, simply move your thumb around and notice the marvelous complexities and varied movements that are possible. Then expand your awareness to other marvels of the body, outside and in.

If negative thoughts still come up, try to accept them and get back to considering your amazing abilities or checking out your features with curiosity.

When I was looking at my reflection to take my self-portraits, I tried to be neutral about my features: Here’s my dad’s nose, my hazel eyes, my pale cheeks, my dark brown pony-tailed hair. If I started criticizing or staring a bit too long at my blemishes, I tried to bring myself back to simply being curious and to looking deeper into my own eyes, because, of course, there’s so much more there.

By the way, Deb Burgard, Ph.D, a psychologist and Health At Every Size expert, has another great body appreciation activity on her website.

How do you feel when looking in the mirror? Do you find this exercise helpful?

While we’re preoccupied with how our bodies look and spend valuable time bashing their inability to lose weight, their cellulite or stretch marks, we forget their true magnificence.

We forget not only what our bodies do for us, but what they are and the fantastic functions they perform every single second, minute, hour and day.

Remembering just how amazing our bodies are isn’t only important for improving body image; it’s important for self-image as a whole.

As Glenn Schiraldi, Ph.D, writes in his book, 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem, “The way we experience our body typically corresponds to the way we experience our core selves. If we reject our bodies overall because of particular perceived flaws, we are also likely to condemn our core selves for some present imperfections.”

But we can learn to appreciate our bodies. And this can help us, according to Schiraldi, “to a adopt a more accepting attitude toward our inner selves.”

Here are five facts from Schiraldi’s book to remind all of us about our miraculous vessels!

1. “The blood vessels of the body stretch over 75,000 miles…The heart, weighing just eleven ounces, beats tirelessly, each day pumping enough blood to fill several railroad cars.”

2. “The 206 bones of the body are stronger, ounce for ounce, than steel or reinforced concrete. Science cannot duplicate the durability and flexibility of a joint like the thumb, which requires thousands of messages from the brain to direct its complex movements.”

3. “Under the skin, an area the size of a fingernail contains hundreds of nerve endings that detect touch, temperature and pain; scores of sweat glands to cool the body; and numerous melanocytes to defend against the sun’s rays.”

4. “Each of our cells contains the genetic plan for producing all of the cells in our bodies. The genetic code contains billions of steps of DNA that would extend more than five feet in length if stretched out in a line. However, this code is coiled to a length of only 1/2500 of an inch within the nucleus of each cell…The trillions of cells in the body, millions of which are replaced each second, would stretch over a million miles if placed end to end.”

5. “The brain, weighing in at three pounds, contains one hundred billion nerve cells…continuously monitors the body and then initiates needed adjustments in temperature, blood sugar, fluid balance, and blood pressure…the brain allows us to recognize unique faces, understand subtle facial and vocal expressions, mobilize to fight or flee when we are threatened, remember vital lessons and set goals.”

What are other facts about our amazing bodies?