Last month, in this must-listen podcast, Mara Glatzel, a brilliant life coach and writer, chatted with the amazing Vivienne McMaster, a photographer who helps women use self-portraiture to build a deeper and more loving relationship with ourselves.

If you remember, Mara and I started our monthly interview series to demystify self-love and show readers what self-love really looks like on a day-to-day basis. We hope these interviews inspire you to create your own practice and treat yourself with more kindness and compassion.

(By the way, if you’re not familiar with Mara’s beautiful work, please check out her website and her blog “Medicinal Marzipan.”)

This month we’re excited to share our interview with Michelle Marie McGrath, who creates a variety of products to help people appreciate, nourish and love ourselves. I love her empowering message. (And she’s super sweet and generous, too!) I think her wise words will no doubt resonate with you, too!

Below, Michelle talks about the many ways she practices self-love along with the hardships that inspired her to change how she views and treats herself.

1. How do you practice self-love?

I have learnt to be compassionate with myself and treat myself like a dear friend. In 2003 I set a huge intention to open up to 100% self-love and let go of all that was preventing this from being my reality.  Careful what you wish for!

I have since been on a journey into all of the parts of me, and areas in my life where I was totally out of alignment with that intention! Let’s just say it was more like self-loathing.

Each morning and night I mediate for at least 10 minutes, sometimes in the bath (one of my favourite self-love practices), close my eyes and put my hand on my heart and ask “what do I most need from me right now?”

Asking myself this question repeatedly has been life changing.  I also regularly use my Self-love Alchemical oil when I meditate. I’m very conscious of using only organic and good quality body products and makeup.

Self-love is also good for the planet!  If you are treating yourself lovingly, then you naturally start to make more conscious decisions about what you put on and in your body.

I’ve become more diligent about the quality of food I eat, which is mainly organic and from local growers markets. Having been a vegetarian for more than 25 years, I now eat a mainly vegan diet. This was not something I thought about, but it evolved over the past year as I’ve increasingly learnt to really listen to my body. It was a surprise when I kept having repetitive dreams about my body not wanting me to consume dairy. I’ve also eliminated products with refined sugar in them and that has been life changing in terms of the mental clarity that ensued.

I wondered how this would even be possible for me after being a lifelong chocoholic. Fortunately there are so many amazing organic, vegan chocolates made with raw cacao and superfoods on the market now. It tastes so much better than the processed variety and is actually good for you!

My boundaries have become much clearer with myself and other people. I no longer have difficulty in saying ‘no’ if I need to or taking time out. I love being with myself and know that giving myself time is one of the most nourishing things I can do. I recharge and then happily spend time with others.

Currently, I’m also doing a morning practice of dry body brushing for 9 minutes whilst chanting along with this fabulous mantra of Liberation, ‘Har Makunday’ performed by the lovely Mirabai Ceiba.  Try it and let me know how you find it.

2. What book is a must-read for self-love, body image or a related topic?

One book that I regularly pick up is When I Loved Myself Enough by Kim McMillen.  This beautiful little book contains simple wisdom that this lady learnt was important in life, to share with those she loved.

Sadly, she died very suddenly but not before she had left behind this heart-opening legacy. One of my particular favorites is: “When I loved myself enough I quit projecting my strengths and weaknesses onto others and kept them as my own.”

However, I’ve actually created an entire list of self-love related books that have helped me over the years that fall into various areas where we often have challenges with self-love.

3. What are your favorite ways to move your body?

I love walking and it’s one of the ways I start my day. I go for a walk every single morning for around 20 minutes. It’s part of my daily self-love practice.

Did you know that as little as 12 minutes of walking each day is enough for us to fire the synapses in our brain, releasing those feel good hormones? It gets my day off to a great start and I usually repeat at least once more in the afternoon.

One of my favorite holidays of all time was trekking in Himalayas in Nepal. I felt so invigorated and refreshed the whole time. This experience fed my soul on so many levels.

I used to give intuitive massage sessions when I had a healing practice, and I really enjoyed being in the flow and moving around the table. It was almost like a dance and I found that very satisfying.

I often put on a high-energy song and dance during the day when I’ve been on my laptop too long. It’s so important to take these regular breaks and move our bodies.  I’m looking to take my physical activity to another level and am currently looking into some yoga classes.

4. What’s one or two things you wish women knew about appreciating and loving themselves?

The irony is that when we cease looking for approval and love from others, it’s much easier to receive it. I have learnt this lesson many times when I’ve felt disappointed by someone else. Several years ago, I felt incredibly betrayed and deceived as my marriage disintegrated.

During some painful soul searching, I learnt that he was really mirroring to me the parts of myself that I had abandoned and ignored for a very long time. So often we look to our partners to fill a need within us, when in truth this is not sustainable or fair.

It was me that had left me and his actions forced me into admitting this truth. For this life lesson, I’ll be eternally grateful.

When we stop projecting our needs onto others and allow them to just be themselves, it actually creates space for them to love us. I truly believe that this is one of the biggest cosmic jokes!

I would love to remind everyone that you can only ever love anyone to the depth you can love yourself. Anything else is just need. When you can find that space of love within yourself and allow it to overflow, you can share that love with another purely for the enjoyment.

Your relationship with yourself is the filter through which you see everyone else.  Could your filter benefit from some cleaning?

5. Who are your heroes? 

I love to hear stories of regular people overcoming adversity and going on to inspire others just by purely being themselves.

It’s wonderful to hear of people who transcend extremely challenging childhoods, life threatening illnesses or situations, who stay focused on their dreams and turn their lives around — inspirational people like Nick Vujicic, an Australian motivational speaker, who has no limbs and yet travels all over the world helping others and demonstrating that all limits only exist in our minds.

I also read a wonderful book last year called My Recovery by Julie Parker, which documented the personal journeys of 18 people who recovered from eating disorders. People’s real life stories of hope and strength are so enriching.

We have all heard the stories of teachers like Neale Donald Walsch and Eckhart Tolle, who were homeless at one time and had hit rock bottom. I love hearing these stories that really demonstrate the resilience of the human spirit — a great reminder that our biggest obstacle in life is usually ourselves and that we can do anything.

6. What do you think is your greatest obstacle in loving yourself?

My overactive mind! I used to suffer from chronic negative self-talk and a lot of obsessive thought patterns. My mind was just so overanalytical and drove me insane, which led to severe insomnia and panic attacks.

This spiraled into depression for several years. I felt so disconnected from myself and put too much focus into everyone else’s opinion, rather than my own.

Even though this was a very dark period, I learnt so much, mainly how not to believe most thoughts. When I have bad days now, I bring my focus back on what I want to create in my life and put my energy in that direction.

7. How do you work to overcome it? 

Mindfulness and observing thoughts, without believing them is incredibly powerful. It’s interesting to ask ‘what part of me believes this?’ and see what the response is.

I’ve learnt that resisting thoughts doesn’t really work and so I consciously change the focus. The mind is just doing its job, which is to have thoughts, so it’s great to remember that and drop the judgements.

I find entering into a dialogue with myself can be enlightening about where this thought is coming from and often end up laughing at myself.

I find meditation, hypnotherapy, EFT and affirmations particularly helpful and still incorporate all of these into my daily routine.

I created my own Self-love affirmation cards a few years ago. These serve as a positive focus for the day, and I pull one out first thing in the morning and place it somewhere visible. It’s helpful when having a bad day when I know that my thoughts are getting totally out of proportion to interrupt that mental loop.

For example “I choose not to compare myself with others. I am me and I will embrace the fullness of who I am.”

I also love the work of Byron Kate and especially her book Loving What Is and her four questions, that she calls “the work,” questioning the validity of your thoughts and free turnaround sheet that can be downloaded from her site www.thework.com. I love the truth of it.

A sense of humor is also one of my most important tools!

8. Anything else you’d like readers to know?

Self-love is really about entering into a healthy lifelong conversation with yourself. It’s not a one-off phase and even though it seems to be the latest buzz word, it’s important to understand it’s an ongoing commitment. It can be challenging.

Consider the amount of effort and energy that we put into our romantic relationships and friendships. Imagine if we put even a fraction of this effort into creating pockets of time to focus on the relationship with ourselves?

Our lives would be transformed exponentially. Imagine how it would feel to be really in tune with your feelings and connected to your body.

I’ve learnt the hard way that what is most important is how I think and feel about myself.  Seeking external validation is the biggest waste of time and energy (yet we can all fall into this behavior from time to time). It’s a bottomless pit.

Don’t let anyone or anything outside of you have more authority over you, than your own heart. That is the most disempowering thing in the world and it serves no one.

Be the happiest, best possible version of yourself – that’s the best way you can serve the world. YOU are the guru of you, and no one else can possibly ever know what is best for you. Trust yourself. You have all the wisdom you need. Truly.

More About Michelle: 

Michelle Marie McGrath is a Lovepreneur and creator of
 Sacred Self’s organic Self-love range of Alchemical oils, bespoke Sacred Scents and popular self-love cards. She’s the co-author of Love and Oneness in the best-selling Adventures In Manifesting series and author of 7 Ways to Love Yourself ebook.  Michelle is passionate about falling in love with ALL parts of herself, and creating products that remind others to 
do the same.

You can find Michelle at these websites:

• www.sacredself.com.au
• http://www.facebook.com/SacredSelf
• http://twitter.com/sacredselftips
• http://www.pinterest.com/sacredself
• http://www.instagram.com/sacredself

Check out our other interviews with amazing ladies Tara Sophia Mohr, Kate Swoboda, Marianne Elliott, Anna Guest-Jelley, Christina Rosalie, Rosie Molinary and Alexandra Franzen.

{via etsy by Rebecca Plotnick}

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts your week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

Boundaries are vital for any healthy relationship. And they’re just as vital for building a more positive body image with ourselves. Here are several ideas for setting solid body image boundaries.

1. Surround yourself with supportive people.

Are the people in your circle supportive? Do they build you up or bring you down? Do they criticize your appearance? Do they get upset when you make yourself a priority? Do they drain your energy or enhance it?

The people in our lives certainly influence the way we feel about ourselves and our bodies. Spend time with the people who truly support you (and want you to be healthy and happy).

2. Know what you will and won’t discuss.

Think about the types of topics that are off limits in your discussions with people (and that means anyone and everyone). Maybe you don’t want to discuss diets or the calorie count of everyone’s food.

Maybe you’d rather not comment on others’ weight and have others comment on yours. Maybe you don’t want to talk about physical appearance at all, yours or anyone else’s. “Fat talk” is common, but that doesn’t mean you have to participate. Figure out what you’re comfortable with during conversations, and what you’re not.

Then if these topics are mentioned, you have several options: Be honest and simply say that you don’t want to talk about that topic; politely try to change the subject; or just leave the bathroom, and take a break.

3. Set all kinds of boundaries.

Again, it’s important to create (and maintain) boundaries with others concerning everything in your life. It could be anything from “I will talk to you once you’ve calmed down” to “You can borrow that if you bring it back tomorrow” to “I’ll be available to talk after my workout at noon.”

I really like this simple exercise on Oprah.com in helping you figure out your boundaries. (The piece, overall, has good insight into setting boundaries.)

1. People may not ___________.

2. I have a right to ask for ____________.

3. To protect my time and energy, it’s OK to _________________.

4. Say no to anything that doesn’t feel right or disrespects or dishonors you. 

Think about the activities that don’t nourish you. It can help to think back to the situations that made you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, attacked or mistreated. Then consider why you felt this way. It’s probably a clue into the kind of boundaries you need to set.

5. Say yes to activities that do feel right, nourishing and/or rejuvenating.

What are the activities that you get excited about, the ones you’d seriously shout “yes” to? What activities help you cultivate a healthier body image? What activities help you take kind, compassionate care of yourself? Focus on those activities.

If you find it helpful, write down your responses, and keep the paper handy. Let it serve as an important reminder of your boundaries, and how you’d like to improve your body image and live your life.

What are your body image boundaries?

{via etsy by Cindy Taylor}

A positive body image goes beyond liking your looks. It encompasses taking good care of yourself and leading a fulfilling life. In this weekly series, I share some of my favorite posts from some of my favorite bloggers on this topic. Sometimes I also share relevant pieces that I’ve written on the Web. Hope you find these links inspiring!

Today, honor the pieces of yourself. Beautiful words from Liz, who’s “working on seeing what I thought were ‘criticisms’ at the time as the magic that makes me who I am.”

What’s wrong with me?

What brings you creative joy? For Rachel, it’s sewing. Not sure? “Come home to your body and listen for what makes it hum.”

Two more powerful questions from Rosie: “What do you need right now more than anything else? What feeling do you most want to have?” I love her responses (so inspiring).

The dance of comparison. I also find myself doing this dance regularly (to be honest it’s more like daily). Helpful words from Mara, if you struggle, too:

For today, I am simply noticing that old feeling is dancing around the periphery, taunting me.
For today, I am sending love my own way and reminding myself to be very gentle.
For today, I will do only this:  Focus on what I am doing. Let that be enough.
I invite you to join me.

“We make meaning by creating.” My interview with creativity coach and writer Miranda Hersey.

10 questions to help you take better care of yourself when stress strikes.

Yoga as self-care.

A quick exercise to calm your brain.

Two tips for bloggers from Brené Brown.

What’s inspiring, teaching or nourishing you lately?

For many of us getting into a swimsuit feels more vulnerable than spilling our deepest, wildest secrets. It feels more vulnerable than being naked in front of our significant others, maybe even for the first time.

It’s an act soaked in anxiety and self-doubt. It’s an act marred by negative thoughts, shoulds and unattainable expectations.

I used to dread swimsuit weather (which, when you live in Florida, is like eight months out of the year). I worried that I wasn’t thin (or tan) enough. My stomach wasn’t flat or toned. My thighs touched.

I worried what others would think when they laid eyes on my imperfect body. Umm, she definitely shouldn’t be wearing a two-piece. Wow, someone needs a tan. She needs to lose weight. ASAP. 

I felt shame about my physical appearance. And this shame spun a web of slimy stories.

Bestselling author Shauna Niequist can relate. She reveals her own sense of shame about swimsuit season in her beautiful collection of essays called Bread & Wine: A Lover Letter to Life Around the Table. She writes:

That’s what shame does, though. It whispers to us that everyone is as obsessed with our failings as we are. It insists that there is, in fact, a watchdog group devoted completely to my weight or her wrinkles or his shrinking bank account. Shame tricks us into believing there’s a cable channel that runs video footage of us in our underpants twenty-four hours a day, and that all of the people we respect have seen it. Shame tells us hat we’re wrong for having the audacity to be happy when we’re clearly terrible. Shame wants us to be deeply apologetic for just daring to exist.

Summer is Shauna’s favorite time of year. But her shame suggested she cover up, “stay inside, stay invisible.”

But staying covered, staying inside, also means missing out. For Shauna it meant missing the beach, boogie boarding, plunges off the back of the boat and watching her kids have fun.

Do you consider covering up and staying inside (and invisible)?

Because if you do, you’re probably missing out on many joys, too.

And the biggest one may be a quiet inner peace with your body (and yourself) as you’re swimming in the ocean; feeling the sand between your toes; barbecuing with your loved ones; breathing in the breeze at the park; licking ice cream off your cone and fingers; laughing, as the sun kisses your face.

This summer consider making yourself a critical (and meaningful) promise, like Shauna did.

So this is what I’m going to do: I’m going to swim. I’m going to paddleboard. I’m going to make sand castles and make-believe and make memories with my kids. I’m going to cannonball into the icy lake water. I’m going to live in the body God made me, not because it’s perfect but because it’s mine. And I’m going to be thankful for health and for the ability to run and move and dance and swim.

She also talks about what she’s not going to do, including following our society’s obsession with smallness (for women).

I’m not going to give in to the cultural pressure that says women’s bodies are only beautiful when they’re very, very small. I’m going to take up every inch of space I need…I’m going to allow my shoulders to feel the sun, and even (gasp!) my thighs, instead of making sure I’m always, always safely covered and out of your view.

And this is what I’m not going to do: I’m not going to hide. I’m not going to bow out of things I love to do because I’m afraid people won’t love me when they see my underbutt.

This is the promise I’m making: this summer, I’m not going to be ashamed of my body. Or at the very least, I’m not going to let a lifetime of shame about my body get in the way of living in a rich, wild, grateful, wide-open way.

Think about all the things you want to do this summer, and all the negative things you refuse to worry about. Make a list, if you like.

I know that the anxiety we feel about our bodies won’t be erased with one positive thought or a list of enjoyable activities.

But it’s a start. It’s a reminder of what truly makes us happy in life. It’s a reminder to let go of restrictive standards. It’s a promise to yourself that can bring you peace.

I hope this summer you, too, try to stop hiding and start savoring. Give yourself the permission to take up as much space as you need, and have fun.

*** Book Giveaway Winner ***

The winner of a copy of The Declaration of You is (which was selected using random.org): Julia, who left this comment:

“One of my big likes is exploring Chicago (I have lived here for 2 and a half years). I love exploring new neighborhoods and just taking walks when the weather is nice – I feel like I’m part of the city!”

Thanks so much to everyone who entered the giveaway. I loved reading your Big Likes!

{via etsy by Karin Elizabeth}

Recently, while writing a piece on ways to unwind for Psych Central, I was re-reading one of my favorite resources: Jennifer Louden‘s book The Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life. Just reading her suggestions helps me to feel calm and rejuvenated.

I came across a great tip on creating comfort rituals, which Jen describes as rituals that focus on self-nurturing. It’s a specific time you carve out to focus on taking care of yourself and your feelings. It’s a sacred time to connect to your “inner self.”

Jen writes, “The human spirit loves rituals. Rituals connect us to wonder, to self-discovery, to the world of myths and symbols. They offer a metaphoric means to help us take responsibility for our lives. The ritual process brings us renewed balance, empowerment, energy and comfort. Rituals help us live our lives more consciously. Most importantly, rituals provide a way to connect to our spirits.”

They’re really a powerful way to take compassionate care of yourself, especially if your days are hectic, and you don’t have much time to sit down and savor. Think of this as your anchor.

The key to creating a daily ritual, according to Jen, is to a) make it repetitive (such as listening to the same music in the same space); and b) do what feels right to you (“the most effective rituals are always personal”).

For instance, here’s her suggestion for a bedtime ritual:

Light a candle or two by your bed. Turn off the other lights. Stretch across your bed, taking your time, exaggerating your movements. Feel the cool sheets against your body. Moving slowly, open a book of poetry (or an uplifting…book), and slowly read a page. Allow the wisdom and beauty of what you are reading to enter your mind. Put the book aside. Take a minute to concentrate on the candle flame. Blow out the candle, and curl into peaceful sleep.

This is her suggestion for a morning ritual:

Spend ten minutes holding, talking, and just existing with the person you share your life with. Make this a priority in your daily life, no matter how busy.

You can do this if you’re alone. Take a few moments to imagine your day going beautifully. Snuggle down in your warm sheets, and hug yourself. Stretch like a cat. Repeat a few times to yourself, “This is going to be a great day.”

You have so many options in creating your personal ritual. You can create an afternoon ritual, where you drink tea and write in your journal for a few minutes. Or you could devote every evening to your favorite yoga postures and meditation podcast.

Saturdays might include morning pages or a walk to your favorite coffee shop. Sunday mornings might include a 2-hour hike or bike ride.

Wednesday evenings might be bath time, with candles, classical music, a book and a glass of your favorite drink. Every night might include a candlelit dinner (whether you’re enjoying a steak or a slice of pizza).

The beautiful thing is that it’s totally up to you.

What ritual will you add to your days?

P.S., Don’t forget you have until tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:59 p.m. EST to enter to win a copy of The Declaration of You. Learn more here.

{via etsy by Clare Elsaesser}

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts your week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

Lately, I haven’t been feeling my best. I’ve felt the suffocating grip of self-doubt, a tidal wave of cloudy thoughts crashing into my brain. So I could use a kind of pick-me-up.

Maybe you can, too. Whether it’s your body image or self-image as a whole that feels like it’s sinking, perhaps these beautiful words from Maya Angelou might help.

{via etsy by Louise van Terheijden}

A positive body image goes beyond liking your looks. It encompasses taking good care of yourself and leading a fulfilling life. In this weekly series, I share some of my favorite posts from some of my favorite bloggers on this topic. Sometimes I also share relevant pieces that I’ve written on the Web. Hope you find these links inspiring!

You’re not needy. You’re starving.

How do you practice yoga when sh!t hits the fan? Great wisdom from Anna.

Susannah reads an excerpt from her book This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart. I absolutely love this book and re-read it regularly. (I’ve written about it here, here and here.)

How reading can help you through your life crisis.

Valuable insight on navigating that tenuous balance between work and life. My favorite part of Joyce’s piece:

 I was working as a therapist in private practice, but dreamed of creating a larger, group practice.  My husband and I also wanted to start a family and I was confused about how to achieve both my personal and professional dreams.

My counselor, Arlene Hirsch, said, “You must always plan your career in the context of your life, not the other way around.”  She was so good, I never needed to see her again!

We must create a work life that will promote and support our LIFE life.  For many, that entails doing work that is aligned with your talents and strengths and also meaningful on a deeper level.  Choose work that feeds your soul, rather than robs you of it.

Need some ideas for your summer reading? Sarah shares these 10 suggestions.

15 ten-minute activities to jump-start your creativity.

The one activity that always sparks my imagination.

New to mindfulness? Here’s how to get started.

4 helpful steps to getting some distance from negative thoughts.

The pleasure in permission.

I was honored to be interviewed by Sandy at Body Bliss Central. Check it out here.

Don’t forget to share your Big Likes on this post to enter to win a copy of Michelle and Jessica’s book A Declaration of You. 

What’s inspiring, teaching or nourishing you lately?

In April we talked about the spring self-care activities on our list. Today, I’d like to talk about what you’re doing this summer.

I like the idea of having a plan because it gives us the opportunity to think through what really nourishes us and feeds our minds, hearts and spirits. And to actually put it on our calendars.

(Yes, you do have the time to take care of yourself.)

For instance, here’s what’s on my list for summer:

• Going to the beach, notebook (and comfy chair) in hand, jotting down ideas. 
• Taking Susannah’s journaling class, which starts next week.
• Swimming in the pool (maybe actually learning how!).
• Learning to golf (or at least having the club make contact with the ball). Brian is teaching me, so even if I stink, we’ll still have fun.
• Feasting on fruits, such as cherries, watermelon and strawberries.
• Immersing myself in books. (Right now on my bookshelf are Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist, The World’s Strongest Librarian by Josh Hanagarne and several creativity and writing books.)
• Not taking life so seriously (not an activity exactly, but an important reminder).

Your list might include: biking; tennis; running; road trips; summer reads (like these, maybe); strawberry picking; feasting on fresh seafood (I better add this one to my list); constructing sandcastles; barbecuing; baseball games; picnics; gardening; exploring the library; exploring a new city; exploring your city.

So take some time to think about the activities, hobbies and habits that nourish your many needs. If you’re not sure, think about the types of things that might (and why) like we did with our Big Likes.

Rosie has been exploring self-care on her blog with several excellent pieces, which will no doubt give you more ideas: determining your self-care, what your minimum and ideal self-care routines look like, and self-care on the road.

Another idea, in addition to thinking about activities, is considering a theme. “The theme of my summer is celebration,” Mara writes in her beautiful post.

Maybe your theme will be celebration, too. Or relaxation, play, exploration, gratitude, joy, adventure, compassion, luxury, nourishment or peace.

Pick a theme that resonates with you, something that brings a smile to your face and just feels good. Then you can always plan your activities around that theme.

Whatever you choose, let this summer satiate you.

What activities will be nourishing you this summer? What’s on your to-read list? What are your favorite summer activities? What is the theme of your summer?

Today, I’m happy to participate in The Declaration of You’s BlogLovin’ Tour along with over 200 amazing bloggers.

The Declaration of You is a wonderful book written by Michelle Ward and Jessica Swift. It gives readers the permission to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do.

Learn more about the book and blog tour by clicking here. And, if you’d like, you can join in, too. There are plenty of other topics to explore, including intention, self-care, success (which I’ll be doing in July on my personal blog), celebration and trust.

“You are allowed to like whatever you want, JUST BECAUSE, no reasons or excuses needed.”

These are the first words of Michelle and Jessica’s chapter on enthusiasm. And they make me oh-so happy.

One of my goals with Weightless and the posts I write here is to empower you to take great care of yourself and lead a fulfilling life.

My hope is that you’ll take the time to explore your passions, likes and dislikes. Because part of taking good, kind care of ourselves is knowing what feels nourishing (and what doesn’t), and letting that information guide our lives.

I’d love for all of us to better understand our passions, our real passions, and to embrace them. Because that’s the other thing: Sometimes, we cling to certain interests or passions or hobbies because we think we should.

Michelle and Jessica encourage us to let go of these shoulds: what you should like, what you should do.

(Add to that what you should and shouldn’t eat; what you should and shouldn’t weigh; and what you should and shouldn’t look like.)

And they encourage us to focus on our real, honest-to-goodness passions.

Specifically, they believe that it’s our Big Likes (i.e., our interests and passions) that form the basis for an enthusiastic and happy life. In their book, they include an exercise to help us zero in on these Big Likes, which can actually be both big and small.

As they write, “We’re not necessarily talking about huge, lifelong, heart-on-fire passions here—though you can include those, too—but we’re talking about all the little pieces of you that make up your life.”

On a piece of paper, create three columns: “Things I love/Big Like”; “What do I love about it?”; “How does it make me feel?” (In the book they include a pretty worksheet.)

If you’re not sure what your Big Likes are, no problem. Think about what you might want to try, and why.

The why is especially important, according to Michelle and Jessica, because it’s not the actual task that typically makes you happy, but the reason behind it. They write:

Going back to Jess’s smoothie example, the actual smoothie isn’t really what she loves—it’s knowing that she’s starting her day in a healthy, delicious way, and that’s what revs her engine.

Do you see any threads between the reasons behind the things you might wanna try and why you love the things that you know you love?

What drives you to do something that you want to do and/or try something new? What are the components? The emotions? The results?

Sum ’em up by finishing the following sentence:

I like what I like because what I like causes me to feel
_________________________.

Now you’re ready to create your first declaration:

“I declare that doing things that make me feel _____________
_______________________________________________________
_________________________________________makes me tick!”

In her post on enthusiasm, Jessica lists some of her Big Likes. I thought it’d be fun to share a few of mine, too:

• writing (no surprise there)
• biking with Brian
• books and blogs on creativity, art and design
• old books and used bookstores
• peeking into other people’s workspaces
• taking pictures with my iPhone
• browsing bookstores
• shopping for clothes and journals
• museums
• sundays spent on the couch, brainstorming
• ice cream shops
• homemade meals
• nature: trees, plants, flowers, grass. Looking at nature soothes me
• musicals
• a sink-your-teeth-into piece of fruit
• pretty office supplies

Again, check out more posts on enthusiasm and the other topics in The Declaration of You blog tour here!

*** Giveaway ***

We’re giving away one copy of The Declaration of You (thanks to the book’s publisher North Light Books). To enter, just leave a comment below telling us about one of your Big Likes. (One comment per person.)  You’ll have until next Wednesday at 11:59 p.m. EST to participate.

{via etsy by Angie Baldelomar}

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts your week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

Several bloggers have been sharing really thoughtful pieces about their relationship with social media (it’s part of the social media consciousness blog hop.) This got me thinking — of course — about body image.

When we’re building a more positive body image, it’s important to assess and reassess our environment. Our environment inevitably influences how we feel about our bodies, and ourselves.

And, for many of us, social media is a big part of that environment.

So it’s important to consider the role social media plays in your body image.

Does it contribute positively to how you feel about your body (and yourself)? Or is it a negative contribution? Neutral? Not sure?

Take some time this week to explore this relationship. Simply observe it.

What social media sites do you visit the most? Why? How do you feel while you’re on the site, and how do you feel after?

Maybe social media sites don’t really affect your feelings about your body. But you notice that you’re spending too much time mindlessly browsing Facebook — time that could be better spent on self-care.

Or you might decide to use social media as part of your self-care. For instance, for Vivienne, self-portraiture is an important self-care policy. She shares her stunning images on Instagram.

Which brings up another important question to consider: How do you use social media?

Is it a tool for connection? For truth-telling? For exploring yourself? For vegging out? For unwinding?

The great thing is that you can also use social media as another tool in your toolbox to foster a positive body image. Again, you can use it as a self-care practice, as a path toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

For instance, you might post positive quotes on Twitter or Facebook.

You might link to pieces with good tips for a better body image.

You might question our cultural’s ridiculous standards and call out companies that further them.

You might share a personal story (only if you’re absolutely comfortable, of course) to inspire someone else.

You might share body image boosters that you’ve invented.

Or you might realize that you’d like to cut down on your use altogether. For example, you set a timer for 30 minutes to connect with your loved ones on Facebook. Once it dings, you’re off to take a walk or cook dinner or write in your journal or enjoy your favorite show or stretch your body.

Remember that how you use social media is entirely up to you. Do what feels most nourishing, helpful and positive.

How do you use social media? How does it affect your body image? How will you use it to build a healthier relationship with yourself?