Self Worth Articles

Focusing on What You — And Only You — Can Give

Friday, January 30th, 2015

sunset over the ocean, taken by mama, july 2014, w Judy Garland quote

Even though I feel much better about my body than I did years ago, even though I am taking much better care of myself than I did years ago, I still feel the pricks of comparison.

When I’m in an exercise class, some days I find myself looking around. What is everyone else doing? Why am I not keeping up? Why is this so much harder for me?

I find myself feeling disappointed. Like Alex writes in her powerful post, I find myself spinning all sorts of stories. Old stories about not being an athlete or being clumsy or being too slow. New stories about how I need to work out harder and be stronger and do more.


Beyond the Bucket List: Focusing On Tiny Thrills

Friday, January 23rd, 2015

Jennifer Louden, A Year of Daily Joy

I think bucket lists are wonderful. It’s important to have a place for contemplating and listing your ultimate dreams, for reflecting on the experiences, activities and actions that inspire you. The experiences, activities and actions you just know you need to do. The things that are calling you.

But I also love an idea I read about in Jennifer Louden’s latest book — A Year of Daily Joy: A Guided Journal to Creating Happiness Every Daywhich is filled with beautiful quotes, tips, insights and images. The idea is to create a “thimble list.”


My Body Image Dream for 2015

Monday, January 19th, 2015

amelia island, red flower

Today, in the U.S., we honor Martin Luther King, Jr., who had an incredible dream and helped make it a reality. Inspired by his powerful speech and Therese Borchard’s beautiful piece, every year I republish a piece on my personal dream (which I’ve updated since last year). It’s a dream that focuses on everything from how we treat each other to how we treat ourselves.

I have a dream that our society will stop judging, shaming and bullying people because of their size, shape and weight.

I have a dream that we’ll focus on cultivating healthy habits instead of remaining chained to the numbers on our scales (or calipers or clothes).


The Lessons You’ve Learned Throughout the Years

Thursday, January 15th, 2015

Unrepeatable quote, BN, october 2014

On the last pages of her book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar Cheryl Strayed pens her response to the question: “What would you tell your twentysomething self if you could talk to her now?”

These are snippets of her wisdom:

“Feed yourself. Literally. The sort of people worthy of your love will love you more for this, sweet pea.”

“You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write.”


Writing Vows to Ourselves

Friday, January 9th, 2015

Buddha quote

When we got married, Brian and I wrote our own vows. Writing my vows to him, and him reading his vows to me are moments that I will never forget.

Writing our vows gave us both the opportunity to reflect on our relationship, to consider where we started, where we are today and where we’d like to go. To consider our deep commitment to each other.

Writing our vows and speaking them has made them more concrete and meaningful and memorable.

I think we can do the same for ourselves. After all, our relationship with ourselves forms the basis for our relationships with others. It helps us make decisions and make meaning. It forms the basis for everything.


This New Year Focus On Non-Goals

Thursday, January 8th, 2015

brave, creative joy retreat

Recently, on her blog Design for Mankind, Erin Loechner shared her non-goals for the new year — something she’s been doing for several years now.

That is, instead of creating resolutions or intentions, Erin shares a list of qualities or traits or habits she’s learning to accept about herself.


Some Thoughts on the New Year And Being a New You

Saturday, January 3rd, 2015

yiddish proverb

It is a new year.

But this doesn’t require being a new you.

Of course, you will see this phrase

in many places:

TV, magazines, websites.

You will hear it in conversation

at work, at the checkout line

maybe even at home.


Top 14 Weightless Posts of 2014

Tuesday, December 30th, 2014

Philly, bubble fixtures

Every year I share the most popular posts (as judged by pageviews) on Weightless from January to December. This year’s favorite posts include everything from dealing with a loud inner critic to coping with guilt after eating to 10 reasons to love our bodies.

Overall, 2014 was all about exploring kindness; getting curious about our bodies, our needs and our identities; navigating negative thoughts and roaring inner critics (instead of trying to banish them, because they only return that much stronger when we try to dismiss them); seeking stillness and adding pleasure to our lives; turning to gratitude (genuine gratitude) when we need it most; and letting go of what no longer serves us.


Self-Care Sunday 12.21.14

Sunday, December 21st, 2014

NYC, early July 2014

On some Sundays I share my favorite links on everything from taking compassionate care of ourselves to embracing imperfection to leading a meaningful life on our own terms.

“I remember that this life isn’t meant to be perfect.”

Try an “End of Year Personal Summit.”

Self-compassion is most definitely a verb.


Meeting Your Needs When You’re Super Busy

Friday, December 12th, 2014

amelia island, red flower

In the last few months Brian and I have been planning our wedding (while experiencing some unexpected drama with our venue), and making improvements on our house.

I’ve been revising my book while working on my normal writing projects. Brian has been swamped at work. And, of course, we have the holidays.

Things have been hectic, to say the least. (And we don’t have any kids or pets!)

What I’ve realized during these busy times is the importance of meeting my own needs (and letting others meet theirs). I’ve realized just how critical it is to my well-being, productivity and sanity. Because you can’t go wrong with focusing on your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.


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Recent Comments
  • Joanna: Love the idea of a beautiful question. My beautiful question is What can I do to enable others to discover...
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Judi, you’re welcome! It’s my pleasure. :) Thank you for reading and...
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ productive1, I’m glad it resonated with you!
  • productive1: I love the idea of making the kitchen into a calming meditation space. Great idea.
  • Judi: This was so helpful. I’m separated from my husband and wavering back and forth between trying to...
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