Relationships Articles

Creating A Safe Space for Others

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

Amelia Island, beach, mama and Bella

Yesterday I talked about how we can create a safe space for ourselves, to listen to our needs, wants and wishes and to compassionately care for ourselves.

Today, let’s talk about how we can do the same for others. Whether this is your child, spouse, best friend or family member, here are some ideas:


Reflecting On the People In Your Life

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

the power of no

Right now I’m reading the book The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher. I came across a line that struck me:


35 Lessons on Body Image, Well-Being And Life

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

tulips

Today is my 32nd birthday. Every year, for my b-day, I’ve been republishing a version of the below post. It’s become sort of a tradition around here.

In it, I share what I’ve learned about body image, well-being and life in my years on this earth thus far. Why 35? Extra lessons for good measure and good luck!

1. Be you.

In all your amazing and unique glory. Trying to be like others or pretending you like something you actually don’t doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried. It feels awkward and itchy. And then there’s the matter of life being too short.

Find out who you are. Explore your likes and dislikes. Explore what makes you happy. Explore what feeds you, what gets you up in the early hours of the day. Spend time by yourself. Take yourself out on dates.


25 Statements for Speaking Kindly to Ourselves

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

creative joy retreat, 2012, hearts

I love this powerful post from Joyce on 50 loving sentiments to say to our partners, family members and friends. It inspired me to think of the statements we can say to ourselves. Because so many of us get stuck in a self-critical dialogue. So many of us get stuck ruminating over the same harsh thoughts.

I’m too big to wear that. I’m not pretty or smart enough. I can’t tell them no. They’ll hate me! I’m such a failure. No one makes such stupid mistakes. My body is disgusting. Wow, am I an idiot.

The good news is we can change our inner dialogue. We can learn to be kinder to ourselves. With practice.


Body Image And Self-Care: On Asking For Support

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

you are worthy as you are, quote, trees

Last week I wrote about how we can ask for what we need. Because we can’t expect others to read our minds. And we can’t expect them to decipher our hints, jokes or passive-aggressive remarks.

That’s why it’s key to be clear, direct, humble and polite.

Sometimes, though, we might not have the words. We might not know what to say when we’re put on the spot. Or we might be too frustrated, angry or hurt to say the words.


Self-Care And Asking For What You Need

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

white flowers, taken by mama, june 2014

I talk a lot on Weightless about exploring and responding to our needs. This is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and a fulfilling life.

But I know it can get tricky when our needs involve other people — which is often.

Personally, I used to assume that others, if they truly loved one, would automatically know what I needed. That’s how it works, right?

Assuming that others can read our minds — i.e., do the impossible — can lead to a whole lot of hurt feelings, resentment, miscommunication and arguments. Because when those people inevitably don’t deliver, we blame them and ourselves and still remain hungry.


Body Image Booster: Keep A Thought Log

Monday, March 31st, 2014

NYC Oct 2012

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it.

A negative body image is made up of negative thoughts.

Wow, I look horrible today. Like every day. My pants are tight. What a surprise.

Why can’t I just be thinner? This cellulite has got to go! If I could just get rid of this flab, I’d be so much happier.

Often, we don’t even realize we’re playing a demoralizing dialogue in our minds all day long. Which, of course, only perpetuates and spikes the negativity and bashing.

Or maybe our thoughts aren’t overly cruel. Maybe there’s a hint of negativity or self-doubt that’s still deflating.

Either way, our thoughts can influence how we feel about ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we let others treat us. They can influence the boundaries we set, and the lives we lead.


10 Ways to Cultivate Joy Today & Every Day

Thursday, March 20th, 2014

creative joy, purple flowers

This afternoon I interviewed an ADHD coach for a piece on Psych Central about chronic lateness. At the end of our conversation, she mentioned that today is the International Day of Happiness.

I had no idea. So in the spirit of today’s significance, here’s a list of 10 ways we can cultivate joy today and every day.


Body Image Booster: Build Your Support System

Monday, January 13th, 2014

Amelia Island, beach, mama and Bella

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

Recently, I was talking to a friend about a difficult family situation. “I’ve spent months trying to problem solve and figure out how to make this better. I just don’t know,” she said.

“That’s OK. You don’t have to do this alone,” I said.


A Key Question To Ask Yourself Every Day

Friday, January 10th, 2014

Amelia Island, beach

Last month I interviewed therapist Darlene Lancer, MFT, on how to be more independent. (Here’s the published piece.) One of her suggestions, in particular, stuck with me, and I jotted it down in my journal:

At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Did I speak my truth?”


Weightless


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Recent Comments
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Anna, my pleasure! :) xoxo
  • Anna: Thanks for the shares, lovely! Hope you’re doing well! xo
  • dee: In my private practice I work both with children and adults. We often talk about the inner critic and ways of...
  • WRG: Thank you for this post. It describes me to a T.
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Sheila A, thank you for your comment! It means a lot to me that you found it helpful...
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