Relationships Articles

35 Lessons on Body Image, Well-Being And Life

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

tulips

Today is my 32nd birthday. Every year, for my b-day, I’ve been republishing a version of the below post. It’s become sort of a tradition around here.

In it, I share what I’ve learned about body image, well-being and life in my years on this earth thus far. Why 35? Extra lessons for good measure and good luck!

1. Be you.

In all your amazing and unique glory. Trying to be like others or pretending you like something you actually don’t doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried. It feels awkward and itchy. And then there’s the matter of life being too short.

Find out who you are. Explore your likes and dislikes. Explore what makes you happy. Explore what feeds you, what gets you up in the early hours of the day. Spend time by yourself. Take yourself out on dates.


25 Statements for Speaking Kindly to Ourselves

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

creative joy retreat, 2012, hearts

I love this powerful post from Joyce on 50 loving sentiments to say to our partners, family members and friends. It inspired me to think of the statements we can say to ourselves. Because so many of us get stuck in a self-critical dialogue. So many of us get stuck ruminating over the same harsh thoughts.

I’m too big to wear that. I’m not pretty or smart enough. I can’t tell them no. They’ll hate me! I’m such a failure. No one makes such stupid mistakes. My body is disgusting. Wow, am I an idiot.

The good news is we can change our inner dialogue. We can learn to be kinder to ourselves. With practice.


Body Image And Self-Care: On Asking For Support

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

you are worthy as you are, quote, trees

Last week I wrote about how we can ask for what we need. Because we can’t expect others to read our minds. And we can’t expect them to decipher our hints, jokes or passive-aggressive remarks.

That’s why it’s key to be clear, direct, humble and polite.

Sometimes, though, we might not have the words. We might not know what to say when we’re put on the spot. Or we might be too frustrated, angry or hurt to say the words.


Self-Care And Asking For What You Need

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

white flowers, taken by mama, june 2014

I talk a lot on Weightless about exploring and responding to our needs. This is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and a fulfilling life.

But I know it can get tricky when our needs involve other people — which is often.

Personally, I used to assume that others, if they truly loved one, would automatically know what I needed. That’s how it works, right?

Assuming that others can read our minds — i.e., do the impossible — can lead to a whole lot of hurt feelings, resentment, miscommunication and arguments. Because when those people inevitably don’t deliver, we blame them and ourselves and still remain hungry.


Body Image Booster: Keep A Thought Log

Monday, March 31st, 2014

NYC Oct 2012

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it.

A negative body image is made up of negative thoughts.

Wow, I look horrible today. Like every day. My pants are tight. What a surprise.

Why can’t I just be thinner? This cellulite has got to go! If I could just get rid of this flab, I’d be so much happier.

Often, we don’t even realize we’re playing a demoralizing dialogue in our minds all day long. Which, of course, only perpetuates and spikes the negativity and bashing.

Or maybe our thoughts aren’t overly cruel. Maybe there’s a hint of negativity or self-doubt that’s still deflating.

Either way, our thoughts can influence how we feel about ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we let others treat us. They can influence the boundaries we set, and the lives we lead.


10 Ways to Cultivate Joy Today & Every Day

Thursday, March 20th, 2014

creative joy, purple flowers

This afternoon I interviewed an ADHD coach for a piece on Psych Central about chronic lateness. At the end of our conversation, she mentioned that today is the International Day of Happiness.

I had no idea. So in the spirit of today’s significance, here’s a list of 10 ways we can cultivate joy today and every day.


Body Image Booster: Build Your Support System

Monday, January 13th, 2014

Amelia Island, beach, mama and Bella

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

Recently, I was talking to a friend about a difficult family situation. “I’ve spent months trying to problem solve and figure out how to make this better. I just don’t know,” she said.

“That’s OK. You don’t have to do this alone,” I said.


A Key Question To Ask Yourself Every Day

Friday, January 10th, 2014

Amelia Island, beach

Last month I interviewed therapist Darlene Lancer, MFT, on how to be more independent. (Here’s the published piece.) One of her suggestions, in particular, stuck with me, and I jotted it down in my journal:

At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Did I speak my truth?”


9 Reasons Practicing Self-Care Is Vital

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

mini botanical garden, 2013, cropped

Many of us worry that practicing self-care is selfish. Or we assume we don’t have the time or resources to devote to self-care. Or we worry that others will judge us for not being martyrs to our families, friends or jobs.

In her book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life, life coach, speaker and author Renée Peterson Trudeau lists a variety of benefits of self-care.


Weightless Holiday Gift Guide 2013

Friday, December 13th, 2013

prints, jewel, journal collage

Here’s a list of beautiful body positive gifts to give this holiday season. At the bottom, you’ll also find some freebies, which make powerful gifts, too. By the way, you’ll probably want most of these for yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. :)


Weightless


Archives



Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



More



 

Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



Recent Comments
  • Alexis Cherelle: I understand that Claire. When I first started trying to get more rest I would set my alarm for 15...
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Sabrina, thank you for leaving such a sweet comment! I’m happy it made your day....
  • Sabrina: This list really made my day. I am going to try and re-read this whenever I get down. Thank you for writing...
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Anna, you’re welcome! It’s so empowering and liberating to know that we can...
  • Anna Guest-Jelley: Such a great list! They’re all wonderful, but the last is my fav. It’s incredible both...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!