Archives for Relationships
Tomorrow, we'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in America, a day for counting our blessings (and eating yummy pie!). In honor of that, I'm republishing a piece from last year, which features questions to help us give thanks. To help us rediscover and remember what is meaningful to us — from the super small to the really big. I hope you like them!
Today, I'm happy to share a guest post penned by one of my favorite writers Rosie Molinary. If you remember, Rosie shared an excerpt here on Weightless from the second edition of her powerful book Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance (which I highly recommend). Below, Rosie talks about practicing self-care during difficult, unexpected or urgent times. Which is often daily life, isn't it? I love this post, and I hope you will, too.
Carving out time for ourselves gets tricky when we become parents. As a (very) new mom myself, I'm especially curious how others navigate self-care and parenthood. Because it's very easy to forget ourselves and get overwhelmed. Which is why I decided to start a short series where working moms reveal what works for them.
Today, I'm happy to share my first interview with Anna Osborn. Anna is a therapist in Sacramento, Calif., who specializes...
You guys know I love making lists, especially when it comes to practicing self-care and creating satisfaction. One of the ways we can use lists is to write down what truly nourishes us and brings us joy---and then make sure that we include these things, people, actions and places inside our days. Because, as Annie Dillard famously and wisely said, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
Each of us carries a collection of different "shoulds." Beliefs that we are convinced are pure, hard facts. Beliefs that dictate our actions. Beliefs that often don't support us. A range of beliefs about everything from our bodies to our hearts. Beliefs both big and small.
When we're in a situation, we're in it. Which means it can be hard to make a decision. Because we're simply too close to it. We also might be telling ourselves all sorts of stories. I don't know what I deserve. Am I even worthy of this? I suck at making good decisions. There's too many options! I'm terrible at this! I've always been so indecisive. I'll probably pick the wrong thing, anyway. It's too complicated. What do I know?
Many of us rarely check in with ourselves. We rarely wonder what we really want. What nourishes us. What delights us. What hurts us. How we can respect ourselves. Which people are actually healthy for us to be around. What is the most compassionate, supportive decision. Or we may know these things but we don't act on them. One reason is that we get caught up.
This summer I penned a piece called "You are not currency, you never were." In it I talk about how we are inherently worthy---even though most of us think we need to earn our worth. We think we are indebted to others, that we owe them all sorts of things---and we sacrifice ourselves to deliver. Here's an excerpt:
So many of us struggle with feeling our feelings. Maybe we were taught to dismiss them, to pretend they don't exist. Maybe we were taught that anger is an emotion to swallow and sadness an emotion to sweep away. They're negative, after all. Maybe we received the message that some feelings are OK ---like happiness and excitement---while others are not. Maybe we received the message that good kids smile and don't rock the boat by having "bad" feelings. That bad feelings equal bad, ungrateful, naughty, unruly, shameful kids.