One of the things that perpetuates eating issues and a battered body image is shame. That slithery, I’m-the-only-one-to-experience-this, there’s-clearly-something-wrong-with-me feeling.

It’s what our hungry inner critic latches onto, excited at the very idea of listing our many supposedly shameful offenses.

Sometimes we eat away this shame. Sometimes we criticize it away. Either way, it usually affects us negatively.

As Brene Brown points out in her excellent book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power, everyone experiences shame.

For those of us who have a habit of stuffing down our emotions, identifying our feelings can be tough. We might be afraid that if we open the door, we’ll find a raging river and wild waves that’ll swallow us whole.

But acknowledging our emotions (and what triggers them) isn’t inherently a turbulent process. It’s just how many of us have viewed the process for a long time.

Maybe our families dismissed our emotions. Maybe they just didn’t talk about them. Or maybe we never learned a healthy way to express our emotions.

But the good thing about views is that we can revise them.

Many of us worry that enjoying food will somehow open Pandora’s box, and lead to out-of-control eating. But it’s OK — and important — to like eating.

Eating foods we don’t like very much leaves us feeling unsatisfied and wanting more. In fact, for many people it leads to overeating and then guilt.

Not enjoying eating can also negatively affect your nutrition. As nutritionist Michelle Allison explained in our interview:

Ellyn Satter, the dietitian and therapist who developed the eating competence model, says “When the pleasure goes out of eating, nutrition suffers.”

It means that, when you’re not enjoying food and the process of eating it – and also if you don’t like your body enough to take care of yourself with food – your health and the nutritional quality of your diet, over the long run, will be poorer.

In their book Intuitive Eating, authors and registered dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch feature a valuable 5-step process to regain the enjoyment of eating.

{via etsy by Tsuki}

Do you find that you’ve eaten a few bites or even an entire meal without actually tasting it?

Maybe it’s because you’re busy and constantly eating on the go. Maybe it’s because you get sucked into distractions like the TV, phone or computer. Or maybe it’s because you’ve spent years dieting, which has blunted your taste buds.

Mindful eating helps us to slow down and actually savor the foods we’re eating.

When we slow down, we can enjoy our food. We can determine if we even like the food we’re eating in the first place. When we pay closer attention to what we’re eating, we can make conscious choices that nourish our bodies.

If we have a tough time dealing with distress, we might turn toward (or away) from food or crank up our body-bashing. Of course, this not only prevents us from solving the problem, but it leads us to feel worse.

That’s why it’s so important to take a compassionate approach and find ways to soothe ourselves.

In his book, The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Ending Overeating, author and clinical psychologist, Ken Goss, DClinPsy, suggests immersing ourselves in pleasant sensory experiences to help manage distress.

{via etsy by photographybykarina}

Our society is used to viewing diets as no big deal. If you need to lose a few pounds – or more – you just get on a diet, and restrict what you eat, count your calories, sip on a shake or swear off sugar.

We think that dieting will solely affect just one area of our lives: eating.

But dieting actually affects your entire life. It stops you from being fully present, and keeps you preoccupied, ashamed and oppressed – among other things.

When you’re eating away your emotions and you start feeling the heaviness of shame, the last thing you probably want to do is connect to your self-compassion. The last thing you probably want to do is be kinder to yourself or comfort yourself.

When I’d stuff my feelings with food, I felt confused, out of control, embarrassed and alone. And it’s funny that it’s in those very moments that I needed to crank up the self-compassion — but it seemed so hard. And, honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind.

But it’s important for all of us, especially in those times of trouble and distress, to lend a hand — to ourselves.

We’re a fast-paced culture that tends to rush through our days in the name of productivity. We also have different types of technology at our disposal most minutes of the day, so we’re usually tuned in while we do everything.

Eating is a common activity that gets rushed. Or even if we take our time, we eat while doing everything else, including watching TV, talking on the phone, reading or working. (When I’m eating lunch, you can find me right by my laptop, working away.)

That’s why I’m excited to announce that Psych Central is hosting a Slow Eating Challenge. We’re encouraging readers to experience — truly experience — just one meal in the next few days — and then tell us about it! You can learn more here.

{via etsy by Beryl Striewski}

Last week we talked about using certain healthy coping strategies when strong emotions strike. One reader posted a very important comment. She wrote:

These tips are interesting, but how do I slow down enough to do any of these or even breathe? The strong feeling comes… bam, I go to food. I don’t know how to slow down.

I bet many of us have had similar struggles. That’s why I wanted to turn her valuable comment into its own blog post. So I consulted two eating disorder experts on their suggestions for slowing down. Here’s what they said.

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I receive Dr. Michelle May’s e-newsletter regularly, and in the latest issue she recounted a story I knew I had to share with you guys because it’s definitely a perspective-adjuster – in a vital way.

Dr. May and her husband went to Italy for their 25th anniversary and the best way, she writes, to describe her trip was as “sensuous.” Sensuous is, according to Dr. May:

1. Relating to or derived from the senses.
2. Appealing to or gratifying the senses.
3. Readily affected through the senses.
4. Highly appreciative of the pleasures of sensation.

For her, eating in Italy was exciting. Her senses perked up any time she had pizza or pasta or any other delectable Italian dish.