Archives for Holidays - Page 2
There's a powerful perspective that many of us miss around the holidays and, of course, at other times too. It's the idea of being present instead of being perfect. Because it's so easy to get caught up, isn't it? It's so easy to get caught up in buying the perfect gifts, in wearing the perfect party outfits, in hosting the perfect dinner. In trying to be the perfect everything.
On Sunday I wrote a holiday reminder for all of us. Today, I'm sharing some mantras you can say to yourself -- whether it's during the holiday season or into the new year. Because sometimes we get overwhelmed, sometimes we're unsure, and a quick word or sentence can be a balm to our weary souls.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who's celebrating! So I was away a bit longer than I thought (apparently revising almost 70,000 words takes some time). But we'll be back to regular programming next week. :) Every year for Thanksgiving I write a post about what I'm grateful for (like last year). This year, however, I'm sharing some questions to help us rediscover and remember what is meaningful to us -- from the super small stuff to the really big things. (You guys know by now I'm all about asking questions.)
What do you do when someone close to you comments on your weight? Makes a snarky remark about your looks? Makes a joke about your recent weight gain? When this happens, you might be shocked, startled and really sad. It can be downright painful. Maybe you've been working on embracing your body for a while, but these kinds of comments still bruise you. Or maybe you're in a shaky relationship with your body. And these comments certainly don't help. Recently, a reader asked me for advice on navigating these kinds of situations. She's going home for the holidays and her family tends to focus a lot on weight and appearance. So I reached out to some of my favorite clinicians for help. I shared one excellent response last week. Today, I'm sharing Judith Matz's valuable suggestions (along with two more therapists). Judith, LCSW, is a clinical social worker who helps people make peace with food, their bodies, and themselves. She's the author and co-author of the fantastic books Amanda's Big Dream; The Diet Survivor's Handbook; and Beyond a Shadow of a Diet. You can learn more about Judith at her website judithmatz.com.
Recently, a reader, Jen, left an excellent question on my post about what to do when you gain weight. She wrote: "Also, I was wondering if you could write on the topic of family members commenting on weight gain. I grew up in a family that focuses a lot on weight and appearance, and doesn’t care to discuss emotional health. I’m visiting family over Thanksgiving this year, and have been ruminating and ruminating and ruminating about what my family will think of me. Some of them I haven’t seen for 3 years, so they’ll certainly notice if I’ve changed; and they’ll comment on it, too. That’s what I’m most afraid of, and why I keep thinking about Thanksgiving, and dreading it very much in the process. Currently, I don’t have tools that I can use to deal with the emotional pain of them commenting on my appearance, if they do. I’ve learned to handle my own mean comments, but comments from family members just seem too difficult to manage." Of course, she's not alone. This is a common, very common, issue that we face, whether we're recovering from an eating disorder, working on embracing our bodies or trying not to focus on weight at all. Our families might comment on how much weight we've gained or lost. They might comment on how much we're eating or not eating. They might make other comments about our appearance, which hurt us. And they might make these comments at any time, at any gathering. Which is why I wanted to explore this topic right away. (Plus, the holidays are right around the corner.) I've asked a few different experts to chime in. Today, I'm sharing an excellent response from Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, the founding director of Bodywise BED Recovery Program in Ann Arbor, Mich. She's also the clinical director of the The Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, and a past Chair of The Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA).
Because we had a busy end of the year -- the holidays, getting the house ready for company, getting married, having loved ones in town, submitting book revisions, working on other projects -- I didn't get a chance to reflect that much on the old year or the new year. I feel like I leaped into 2015. Excited and grateful but exhausted. So I was happy to find a great piece on making intentions around this time, which doesn't make me feel like I'm already incredibly behind or missed out on something. The piece is by author Warren Berger and is called "Forget Resolutions, What's Your 'Beautiful Question' for 2015?"
Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! This week's self-care links feature everything from making peace with food to exploring your word for the year. Pausing for peace, and how to make peace with food. 5 questions for a bright and clear new year.
Since I’ve been writing Weightless, every year around this time, I’ve shared a list of last-minute gifts we can give to our loved ones and ourselves — whether we’re celebrating Christmas or not. I’ve combined those lists, updated them and added new ideas. Below, you’ll find a combination of presents you can purchase and gifts that don’t cost a thing. I hope these give you some good ideas. And, if you’re celebrating Christmas, I hope you have a beautiful holiday. I'll be celebrating with my very soon-to-be hubby and our family. And, if you’re not, I hope you have a beautiful day.