Archives for Healthy Coping - Page 2
An important part of taking compassionate care of ourselves is to focus on simple pleasures. Which totally depends on you. That is, you get to decide what a simple pleasure looks like. Savoring simple pleasures is especially helpful when there's a lot going on in our lives---deadlines to meet, hard work to accomplish, errands to run. Making time for simple pleasures helps to prevent burnout. Simple pleasures help us to refocus on the sweet small moments, which helps us to cultivate joy and welcome a boost of energy.
Dear Girl Who Hates Her Body, You look at your body in the mirror and grimace. Ugh. It still looks like crap. You touch your body in disgust. You spend hours in your closet trying on every piece of clothing you own. And still nothing fits. Nothing looks good. Everything is wrong. You feel wrong. You wake up at 5 a.m. when the world is still dark and drag yourself to the gym. You don't want to be there. But what other choice do you have?
Today, I'm sharing words you might need to hear right now, or words you might need to remember, because you easily forget, or because you've never heard them. Words you can say to yourself, because you don't have to wait for someone else to tell you. Because telling yourself is enough...
So often what we want most when we're overwhelmed, afraid, exhausted, lost, a foreigner in our own bodies is to be seen. To be heard. To have another human being understand, really understand, what we're going through, where we're coming from. To have another human being listen, without texting, without looking around, without criticizing. To look at us directly, to look into our eyes. To be present with us wholeheartedly.
There is a beautiful quote from Baal Shem Tov: "Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me." Which always reminds me that we have the power to catch ourselves, even if we don't think we can. That is comforting and empowering, because all of us will fall. We may fall from the sky, a very long descent. We may fall out of a second-story window, closer to the ground but still potentially bruised. But, again, these falls are OK. Because we can handle this. Because we've got this. We can be our own superman, swooping in when we've been thrown from a building.
This week we talked about creating mantras that we need. Today, I'm sharing other examples of mantras. Mantras can come in all shapes and sizes. They can be a single word or a single sentence. They can speak to all sorts of subjects. Again, it depends on what you need---whatever brings you comfort and calm, whatever inspires you, whatever serves as a powerful reminder.
We talk to ourselves all the time. Maybe not out loud per se. But every second of the day, our thoughts are swirling. And for many of us those thoughts can get pretty negative. This is why I like the idea of memorizing mantras---something simple and poignant, which we can say to ourselves, whether it's every day or as an important reminder when we need it.
A few Sundays ago, I shared these 20 questions, which we can ask ourselves and our loved ones. When we ask questions---whether they're serious or silly---we get to dig deeper. We find out things we never knew. We understand better. And we cultivate stronger bonds, whether it's with ourselves or with someone else. Both are equally important.
You are holding on so tightly. So tightly you can barely breathe. You cling to this something with such force that on some days, it knocks you off your feet. Maybe you can't focus on much else. Maybe you get headaches and the anxiety sweeps through your body like a storm. Or maybe it's a subtle buzzing that flies about your brain.
Dear Girl Who Doesn’t or Didn’t Know Her Worth, You let others treat you the way they wanted to treat you. Which often only substantiated the darkness you felt about yourself. When people did nice things, with ill intentions, you felt like you owed them something, and so you gave them gifts they never deserved.