Archives for Healthy Coping - Page 2
Be careful you don't blow up with all that dessert you've been eating lately. Make sure you work out. You don't want to gain the freshman 15. You're so small and slim. You'll make an adorable pregnant lady.
The foundation of compassionate self-care is paying attention to ourselves. It is noticing what's happening inside our bodies, since this gives us valuable information into our needs. Because once we know that, we can choose how to respond. And those responses might be as simple as eating when we notice that we're hungry and stopping when we notice that we're full. Or they might be learning that we're feeling upset when our heads hit the pillow because we haven't focused enough on our priorities---so you identify how to make those things first and foremost. And you do.
Many of us think we have to repay anyone who says something nice or complimentary to us, to anyone who takes us to dinner, to anyone who pays attention or is kind in some other way (whether the kindness is genuine or ill-intentioned). We think we owe something beyond a heartfelt thank-you.
In one of my favorite magazines, Bella Grace, they asked readers about their favorite ways to spoil themselves. Readers shared everything from delicious iced coffee to used books to organic, locally grown foods to soft, plush bedding to an 8:30 p.m. bedtime to good socks to postage stamps.
Self-care is a term that gets thrown around a lot. We might think it's synonymous with bubble baths, manicures and massages. And sometimes self-care might be these things. But at the heart of it, at its core, self-care is self-preservation. It is shielding ourselves from harm and danger. Which could mean anything from surrounding ourselves with trustworthy people to seeing a therapist for managing our ADHD to eating when we're hungry to taking regular relaxation breaks.
Vows are powerful statements for our lives. Which become powerful actions. According to physician and Zen teacher Jan Chozen Bays, M.D., in her thoughtful, practical book The Vow-Powered Life: A Simple Method for Living with Purpose: "Vows are the forces that weave together the fabric of our life and all of life. Without vows, without purposeful action, life would cease to exist."
Below is a selection of powerful quotes from The Coloring Book of Mindfulness: 50 Quotes and Designs to Help You Focus, Slow Down, De-Stress, illustrated by Holly MacDonald. I hope these quotes remind you to be more present and to savor each moment---because we naturally and inevitably forget, too wrapped up in our mind's chatter, too focused on our to-do lists. Which is OK, because we can simply refocus on what's unraveling right before us. We can start using our senses fully, refocusing on what we're seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, tasting.
On Monday, in this post, I wrote about asking ourselves questions to help us respond to our in-the-moment needs. Which is what self-care is all about. Today, I'm sharing questions we can ask ourselves to check in as a whole. Because so often we move through our days without much, if any, pausing. So often we move through our days without thinking or reflecting or being aware of ourselves and what's happening inside us.
Self-care is not a to-do list. I was recently reminded of this in this newsletter from Nicole Antoinette. In other words, self-care isn't a list of tasks you need to check off every day or every week. Get a manicure and pedicure Monday. Take a bubble bath on Tuesday. Work out on Wednesday. Make a home-cooked dinner on Friday.