Archives for Healthy Coping

General

Reminders for the Days You Need Extra Self-Care

Sometimes when we need extra self-care because we're absolutely exhausted or struggling with something difficult, we get down on ourselves. We think about all the things we "should" be. We should be more productive. We should be less "dramatic," less sensitive to everything. We should need less tending. We should be stronger.


We start making a mental list of everyone else who does so much more than us; everyone else who does what we're too tired to do. Several times a day. They work harder. They work out harder. They don't need so much time to heal or recover.

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General

When You’re Super Tired With No Vacation in Sight

Lately, I've been tired. Really tired. Long to-do lists. Lots of writing. Lots of worries. There are no catastrophes or terrible concerns. My brain simply feels stalled from too much doing and going, in need of a long break. And long breaks aren't available. At least not yet. I imagine this is how parents (or anyone in a demanding job) feel. Likely very often.

So I thought it'd be helpful to make a list of small, brief ways we can inject a dose of energy or calm. This way we don't feel as depleted and worn-out. Because one of the most draining things is realizing that you won't be able to relax for a very long time.

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Body Image

The Power of Self-Care

When I practice self-care, I am myself. The veil of overwhelm lifts and reveals the core of me. I am silly, playful, compassionate, curious, understanding, patient and energetic. I'm still imperfect. I still make mistakes. I still stumble and struggle. But my body and mind reconnect. We're no longer two separate beings, both miserable and holding our breaths.

In other words, when I get enough sleep, eat nutrient-rich foods, move my body, respond to my needs, savor rest and relaxation, I feel most like myself. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm more present.

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Books

Repairing the Relationship With Ourselves

Forgiving ourselves for a mistake or wrongdoing is often harder than forgiving others. We wonder why we made such a stupid, ridiculous, careless mistake. We know better! Did we have a temporary lapse in judgment? What were we thinking? How could we?

We pummel ourselves with questions. We ruminate about our offense or failure. We feel guilt and shame. We call ourselves names. We go over the many actions we should've taken -- if we'd been smarter.

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Body Image

Self-Care Sunday: Pen A Love Note

One of the prompts in Susannah's April Love photo challenge was "love note to self." The above was my love note, which I posted on Instagram. I'm not sure where this belief originated from, but I've always thought that I needed to earn most things.

I needed to earn rest by being productive. I needed to earn a man's love by being thin. I needed to earn self-care by dieting and losing weight. I needed to earn self-acceptance by fixing my many flaws.

And if I didn't earn these things then I couldn't be happy with myself. I didn't deserve good things. So this is my love note telling myself that I was wrong. That whether I fly or fall, succeed or fail, I'm still inherently worthy. I still deserve rest, play, nourishment and love.

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Body Image

Love Yourself Anyway

Some of us grew up in abusive households, where we were torn down every single day. Where we were explicitly told that we are unworthy and unlovable.

Some of us grew up in healthier households, but were bullied in school for our weight, looks or who we are.

Some of us grew up in households where weight was synonymous with self-worth, where certain foods were forbidden and insults about appearance were the norm.

Some of us have had toxic relationships with people who berated us for everything. And, over time, we started to believe them.

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Body Image

A Powerful Body Image Book for Kids

Today, I’m excited and honored to share my interview with Judith Matz and Elizabeth Patch, creators of the powerful kids book Amanda's Big Dream. It tells the story of a girl who dreams of a solo in the Spring Ice Skating Show. But her confidence plummets when her skating coach makes a comment about her weight.

I’ve known Judith and Elizabeth for several years now, and have featured their important work here on Weightless. Elizabeth is a high school art teacher and illustrator who creates beautiful images that reflect a diversity of body types. As she says on her website: "Happy art for every body!"

Judith is a licensed clinical social worker who's been helping people overcome overeating and build a healthy relationship with food and themselves for over 25 years. She's also the author of The Diet Survivor's Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care and Beyond a Shadow of a Diet: The Comprehensive Guide to Treating Binge Eating Disorder, Compulsive Eating, and Emotional Overeating.

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Body Image

What It Means to Love Ourselves Unconditionally

Lately, I've been thinking about self-love and what it means to love ourselves unconditionally. What does this really look like on a day-to-day basis?

I think of loving ourselves unconditionally as loving others unconditionally, such as our parents, partners, kids and close friends.

When we get into arguments, we resolve them. When they make mistakes, we forgive them. When they forget how beautiful they are, we remind them. I think this is what unconditional love looks like for us.

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