Archives for Health At Every Size (HAES)
When you've hated your body for years, the very idea that you can love it or appreciate it or even just tolerate it might seem ridiculous. It might feel overwhelming and grossly inaccessible.
There's a lot of confusion surrounding self-compassion: We see self-compassion as self-indulgent. We see it as selfish. We see it as weak. Which is unfortunate because a) this means that we don't practice self-compassion and b) self-compassion isn't any of these things. I asked several individuals who specialize in self-compassion to clear up the often misunderstood concept by answering this question: What do you wish people really understood about self-compassion? Last week I shared several of their truths in this piece. Below, you'll find several more truths from another therapist and a nutritionist.
We often think that the only path to accepting our bodies and treating them (and ourselves) well is to embrace everything, to embrace ourselves from head to toe. And you might be wondering: But what if I still hate my thighs? What if I can't get over my nose? Does that mean I'll be miserable in my skin forever?
I think the path to...
We don't have to be in love with our bodies---our weight, shape or size---to treat ourselves well. In fact, we don't even have to like our bodies. We don't have to walk around loving or liking every inch in order to feel good in our own skin. Because often what helps us to feel good in our own skin are actions and practices. The small gestures. The gradual steps we take every...
Every year, on or around July 4th, I republish and update a piece on declaring our independence from what doesn’t serve or support us — everything from dieting to damaging beliefs. I hope you find it helpful! And I hope you have a wonderful holiday or Monday. Today, we celebrate our independence here in America. But wherever you live, it also might be the day you celebrate your independence, too.
We don't need to lose weight to feel comfortable in our own skin. One reason is that weight fluctuates so it's not a sure thing. Why depend on something that naturally shifts all the time? We also don't need to wait. Why wait any longer to feel more comfortable and at peace? Because there are many other ways. Recent, we talked about one way: identifying what's really going on.
Years ago I believed that in order to finally feel comfortable in my own skin, I had to lose weight. Because most days, I felt so uncomfortable, so overwhelmed, so weighed down, so stuffed and so sad. I thought being thin would magically make me feel calmer, less restless and antsy, less sad. I thought it would clear up my confusion, soothe my anxiety and make it all better.
Yesterday, in this post, I talked about the illusion of thinness---the belief that once we lose weight and finally become "thin," we will have everything we've ever wanted. Our lives will be beautiful. We will finally be worthy of love, care and attention. We can finally wear comfortable, stunning clothes. We can finally treat ourselves to delicious meals and kind habits. We will finally have it all.
When we're thin, everything will finally arrange itself into so much beauty that we'll cry from all the joy. We'll start waking up excited. We'll start feeling fulfilled. We'll finally be confident. We'll finally feel calm and at peace. People's harsh words will no longer cut through us. We'll no longer second-guess ourselves. We'll no longer feel alone. We'll no longer feel left out or like we don't belong. Because we will belong. We'll belong to the clique, to the club.