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Whenever I tell someone that diets don’t work, they follow up with, “OK, but then what does?” or “What should we eat?”

We’re so used to the idea of dieting that we yearn for rules, for barriers, for restrictions to keep us eating “right.” And when we don’t have any regulations, we get confused, uncomfortable and maybe even disappointed.

Years ago, I remember sitting with my furrowed brows, thinking, “So I can eat whatever I want? Really?” What do I do with that information? And, wait a minute, how do I keep myself in line?

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Recently I was reading this blog post by Golda, a coach, consultant and author, at Body Love Wellness. And she made a really powerful observation about the holidays and setting New Year’s resolutions. She writes:

It feels inevitable. December is all about holidays and parties and joy and togetherness. There are bright lights and gifts and delicious food and hundreds of tubas playing carols. At least, that’s the hope. It’s a time of year when we try, as best we can, to connect with our abundance and our joy.

Then, suddenly, January 2nd rolls around, and we’re asked to drop all of that merriment and get real. We’re supposed to take note of our flaws and resolve to be better — to eat better, to exercise more, to party less, to stop having such a darn good time and get down to work, usually on ourselves.

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Yesterday my friend and talented blogger Shannon Cutts published a post on her blog, Mentoring & Recovery, that really resonated with me. And I think it will with you, too.

She talked about having the confidence and knowing yourself enough to do what’s right for you.

This is especially relevant to body image and disordered eating. When we rely on diets and other people’s rules for eating, it’s because we don’t trust ourselves to make decisions about what to eat, when to start eating and when to stop.

We worry that we can’t be trusted. That if left to our own devices, we’ll eat the entire fridge — and pantry. (And many magazines and “experts” like to nudge us toward this very idea.)

Making art “is a remarkable tool for recovering our right to be heard, letting go of perfectionism, and restoring self-acceptance,” according to art therapists Mindy Jacobson-Levy and Maureen Foy-Tornay in their book Finding Your Voice through Creativity: The Art and Journaling Workbook for Disordered Eating.

“And it can foster self-discovery by opening new, symbolic doors into our hearts and minds. Creativity connects us to our ‘inner voice’; healing occurs when we listen!”

Their book features a variety of interesting and valuable activities. Today, I’m sharing four artful activities to help you heal your relationship with food and with yourself.

After each activity, a journal entry follows so you can dig deeper. Because it’s better to do the activity before reading the journal entries, I’ve included those at the bottom. So if you’re interested in doing any of the activities, avoid peeking at the entries!

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The media perpetuates a kind of dread of the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. For instance, today, in just a span of 10 minutes, I received two emails from WebMD about holiday foods that will wreck my diet.

Yes, really, those were the terms they used. (I can’t tell you the satisfaction I get from simply deleting these emails and others like them.)

It’s hard to look forward to our favorite foods when we’re taught to feel fearful, guilty and ashamed for eating — and actually enjoying it.

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Now is the time when women’s magazines crank out a slew of articles about the horror of overeating during the holidays, the tragedy of high-cal “sinful” foods and the shameful weight gain that will inevitably result.

Reputable health websites also add their two cents, churning out slideshows that offer lists like “Frighteningly Fattening Fall Foods.”

Some of this is hit-you-over-the-head bad advice. But other suggestions may be more subtle. What about articles that share supposedly healthier substitutions that you can make during the holiday season?

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Yesterday, I talked about some of my favorite books on body image. Today, I’d like to celebrate my two years of writing Weightless by sharing 10 of my favorite posts from way back when.

By the way, don’t forget to comment on yesterday’s post where you can win a free body image book of your choosing! My treat.

1. 7 Signs Your Body Image is Bruised (and 5 Solutions)

This is the post that started it all.

2. Why it’s Time to Change Our Thinking About Weight: Q&A with Linda Bacon, Part 1 and Part 2

Like I said yesterday, Linda Bacon’s book Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight really had an impact on how I view health. I love the Health At Every Size movement, and in this Q&A Bacon debunks so many pervasive (and egregious) myths about health, weight and dieting.

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Ever since I started writing Weightless, I’ve learned so much about building a positive body image, ditching dieting, genuinely accepting myself and embracing true health.

While every day is a process, I’m light years away from where I was: deeply dissatisfied with my body, not knowing who I was, thinking thinness would make me a better and happier person and afraid of relinquishing dieting, because left to my own devices, I’d surely devour everything in sight. (Magazines love to make us think this, but it’s so far from reality.)

{image by Sui; check out more here!}

Today, I’m thrilled to publish a beautiful guest post by Sui from cynosure. On her blog, Sui writes about love, growth, presence, eating and body image. As she says, “I share my journey to help you on yours.”

What I love about her piece is that it has a very powerful and positive message. Very sadly, in our society, hunger is a dirty word or something to be feared. Hunger, we’re taught, is what sabotages dieting. It’s what keeps us from losing weight. It’s a slippery slope to excess pounds and deep dissatisfaction.

How many of us have wished that we didn’t get hungry, that we didn’t have (healthy) appetites?

Below, Sui explores hunger and eloquently explains why it’s actually a necessary, healthy and wonderful thing.

Today, I’m sharing part two of my interview with the amazing and always insightful Ellen Frankel, LCSW, who’s specialized in the treatment and prevention of eating disorders for over 15 years. She’s also author of the recently published novel Syd Arthur (see the synopsis below).

Here, Frankel talks about the common belief that weight loss will complete a person’s life, how to cultivate a healthier relationship with food and the meaning of true contentment – something that the main character, Syd, searches for in Frankel’s book.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the last part of our interview. (Check out part one if you haven’t already!)