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About a year ago, I was looking for a therapist who specializes in eating disorders for a friend. I researched several professionals online and decided to call each office to speak with them over the phone. I called one office, and like I had with the others, asked the receptionist to speak with the psychologist. I explained that I had a few questions about her treatment practices and would take up several minutes of her time.

The receptionist’s answer? No. I was a bit taken back, so I repeated myself. But, according to the receptionist, the psychologist never speaks over the phone. That’s her policy, and that was that.

I was so turned off by this person and her policy that I’m still irritated. (Within seconds, I crossed her off the list.) Interestingly, the other therapists I contacted were happy to answer my questions and speak with me about their treatment methods.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. Or maybe you’re looking for a therapist and have no clue where to start. Or what a good therapist even looks like.

Making art “is a remarkable tool for recovering our right to be heard, letting go of perfectionism, and restoring self-acceptance,” according to art therapists Mindy Jacobson-Levy and Maureen Foy-Tornay in their book Finding Your Voice through Creativity: The Art and Journaling Workbook for Disordered Eating.

“And it can foster self-discovery by opening new, symbolic doors into our hearts and minds. Creativity connects us to our ‘inner voice’; healing occurs when we listen!”

Their book features a variety of interesting and valuable activities. Today, I’m sharing four artful activities to help you heal your relationship with food and with yourself.

After each activity, a journal entry follows so you can dig deeper. Because it’s better to do the activity before reading the journal entries, I’ve included those at the bottom. So if you’re interested in doing any of the activities, avoid peeking at the entries!

{image by Sui; check out more here!}

Today, I’m thrilled to publish a beautiful guest post by Sui from cynosure. On her blog, Sui writes about love, growth, presence, eating and body image. As she says, “I share my journey to help you on yours.”

What I love about her piece is that it has a very powerful and positive message. Very sadly, in our society, hunger is a dirty word or something to be feared. Hunger, we’re taught, is what sabotages dieting. It’s what keeps us from losing weight. It’s a slippery slope to excess pounds and deep dissatisfaction.

How many of us have wished that we didn’t get hungry, that we didn’t have (healthy) appetites?

Below, Sui explores hunger and eloquently explains why it’s actually a necessary, healthy and wonderful thing.

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Yesterday, we discussed recovering from eating disorders. I shared my interview with Carolyn Costin and excerpts from her book,  8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience, with co-author Gwen Schubert Grabb.

One of the topics we talked about was feelings. Learning to tolerate your emotions in a healthy way is important for recovery – and for living life. But many of us, whether we have an eating disorder or not, have a tough time identifying and processing our emotions.

Interestingly, our perspective can make or break negative emotions. As Costin said: “Your emotions are your body’s response to your thoughts.” Or, “What you tell yourself affects your emotional state.”

We run into trouble when our thoughts are inaccurate and self-critical but we see them as pure fact. These are called cognitive distortions. Psychologist and eating disorder specialist Sari Fine Shepphird, Ph.D, defines cognitive distortions as “a biased way of thinking about oneself or one’s environment, including one’s body image, weight or appearance” in her excellent book 100 Questions & Answers About Anorexia Nervosa.

Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb have written a fantastic book called 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience. Not only are both women psychotherapists, but they’ve also been there. Costin began struggling with an eating disorder in her teens. Grabb was Costin’s client, who recovered and then became a therapist herself.

In their book, they write: “This book is about getting over an eating disorder, how we did it, how we helped thousands of others do it, and how we hope to help you do it, too.” Below are several excerpts from the book and my interview with Costin, who discussed everything from obstacles to recovery to strengthening your “healthy self.”

The 8 Keys

The eight keys are based on scientific research, both authors’ personal recovery and their work with people with eating disorders. The book includes stories from Costin’s work with Grabb and other clients of both authors. The eight keys are:

Whether you have body image issues, disordered eating or are in recovery from an eating disorder, it’s important to recognize your problems and work to resolve them prior to pregnancy or motherhood.

As authors Claire Mysko and Magali Amadei write in their excellent book, Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat? The Essential Guide to Loving Your Body Before and After Baby*:

If you know you have food and weight issues and you want to go into motherhood prepared to deal with them, that doesn’t mean you’re selfish. It means you’re smart, savvy and self-aware – and we think your kids will thank you for it.

In their book, Mysko and Amadei, who both struggled with and recovered from eating disorders, include a valuable checklist with healthy tips for before and during pregnancy and after your baby’s birth.

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When you’re trying to recover from an eating disorder, setbacks can happen. In fact, relapses are quite common. But the key is to use them as learning opportunities, adjust your treatment and try to move on. Sometimes, you may be able to prevent a relapse.

For more information on relapse and what individuals can do, I spoke with Pam Cleland, MS, LPC, an aftercare coordinator at the Eating Recovery Center. Below, she provides valuable insight into how people can prevent and minimize relapses.

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Welcome to the worst opening lines for an eating disorder article ever:

Eating disorders often begin with the best of intentions — a desire to lose weight and control eating. But in some people, those good intentions go badly wrong, resulting in anorexia nervosa, bulimia, binge eating, or other disorders.

Sadly, very, very sadly, this article didn’t appear on some shoddy website viewed by several people.

Yesterday, Katie wrote a fantastic post (as always!) about being yourself. Basically, she blurted out a curse word in front of strangers at a networking event. The big deal? Well, Katie never curses. She did so in this case to be cool, to be liked.

Wow.

Wow because I have been there. So. Many. Times.

So many times I’ve blurted out things I didn’t really mean to fit in, or tried to make myself like something because others did (whether it was music or certain hobbies). So many times I thought I wasn’t cool enough, which translated to I wasn’t good enough.

Building relationships is hard. They’re especially hard if your inner critic, well, keeps criticizing you. Keeps telling you that you aren’t worthy as you are. That you must change in order to be liked, because why would anyone like the real you in the first place, right?

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Today, I’m thrilled to present a beautifully written guest post by Joy Choquette, who writes the awesome blog 156 Things, where she takes on about three things each week that take her out of her comfort zone. I love Joy’s writing, and I’m honored to share the below post with you.

Joy is a Vermont-based professional writer. As she says,  among her many interests are psychology geekery, people-watching and interpreting and everything relationship oriented: from marriages to childhood patterns to habits involving food, money and faith. She’s also very much interested in intuitive eating (please read this amazing post about it on her blog).

Without further ado, here’s Joy’s post about food in today’s world.

I am sitting in a café, warm coffee-scented air hanging heavy. I type away on my laptop. Today, this café is a retreat from my real life, a place to focus entirely on my writing and block out the distractions that plague me at home.

At least, I try to block out the distractions. More than once I’m pulled into a conversation at a nearby table, ears perking as I stare into space waiting for the right order of words to come.