Archives for Culture
Recently, I started a mini series that explores practicing self-care as a parent. Because finding the time and energy to care for ourselves while caring for our kids isn't easy. We also might feel a palpable guilt for doing so. For instance, maybe you assume that you're a terrible parent because you yearn to get away and be alone. Each of us has specific needs, and each of us deserves to fulfill them.
Tomorrow, we'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in America, a day for counting our blessings (and eating yummy pie!). In honor of that, I'm republishing a piece from last year, which features questions to help us give thanks. To help us rediscover and remember what is meaningful to us — from the super small to the really big. I hope you like them!
Carving out time for ourselves gets tricky when we become parents. As a (very) new mom myself, I'm especially curious how others navigate self-care and parenthood. Because it's very easy to forget ourselves and get overwhelmed. Which is why I decided to start a short series where working moms reveal what works for them.
Today, I'm happy to share my first interview with Anna Osborn. Anna is a therapist in Sacramento, Calif., who specializes...
One of the books I regularly recommend to readers is Rosie Molinary's Beautiful You. Because it's empowering, inspiring and practical. And because it's necessary. Because we receive messages that tell us we aren't good enough---but we can become good enough and happy and confident if we do X, Y and Z. If we lose weight. If we change our appearance. If we are productive. If we don't make any mistakes. If we...
You guys know I love making lists, especially when it comes to practicing self-care and creating satisfaction. One of the ways we can use lists is to write down what truly nourishes us and brings us joy---and then make sure that we include these things, people, actions and places inside our days. Because, as Annie Dillard famously and wisely said, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
Each of us carries a collection of different "shoulds." Beliefs that we are convinced are pure, hard facts. Beliefs that dictate our actions. Beliefs that often don't support us. A range of beliefs about everything from our bodies to our hearts. Beliefs both big and small.
I should weigh X number of pounds. I should have a super clean home. I should have muscular legs. I should always look "put together." I should say yes whenever people ask me for help, no matter what it is. I should exercise every day. I should be happy. I should know how to do that. I should be able to do it all. I should keep my needs to myself. I should keep my emotions to myself. I should be organized. I should finish everything on my to-do list. I should know what he wants. I should know what she needs.
Some days everything just feels so loud. And so intrusive. The random thoughts screaming inside your mind. The tension sitting inside your body. The frustration sticking to your skin like glue. The laundry that needs to be folded. The 80 unanswered emails. The 80 other things that need to be done. When? When?
Many of us rarely check in with ourselves. We rarely wonder what we really want. What nourishes us. What delights us. What hurts us. How we can respect ourselves. Which people are actually healthy for us to be around. What is the most compassionate, supportive decision. Or we may know these things but we don't act on them. One reason is that we get caught up.
Maybe you're pregnant and are lethargic and nauseated every single day. Maybe you take what feels like 30 naps a week. Maybe you have a newborn, and you can't think straight. The tasks that seemed so simple are anything but today. And it's like you're moving through neck-deep mud. Maybe you're going through a divorce, and it feels like you're scaling a mountain.