Books Articles

A Unique Way to Approach Your Inner Critic

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

creative joy retreat, 2012, leaf and light

Most of us have a mean — maybe even cruel — inner voice that says everything from “You’re too big to wear that!” to “You’re so stupid!” Understandably, we may grow to dislike — maybe even despise — this inner voice.

We might dislike it because it sounds like someone who used to bully us. Because it sounds like a parent, past partner or so-called friend. Maybe it sounds like the younger you, who regularly received hurtful remarks about your appearance in school.

I like the approach in the book Mindful Compassion, written by researcher Paul Gilbert, Ph.D, and former Tibetan Buddhist monk Choden.


Heart to Heart: Cultivating A Kinder Relationship With Your Body

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

heart-to-heart-cover1

When I was deep in the well of body hatred, I didn’t really see any other path, any other way of being with myself. My friends and family loved me unconditionally, and told me not to be so critical.

But aside from them, there was always a sinking, gnawing feeling that I wasn’t enough, one substantiated (or perhaps triggered) by everything around me.

I ate up these messages. I ate up the messages that said I’d finally be enough when I looked a certain way.


A Vital Part of Self-Care: Your List of No

Friday, August 8th, 2014

ocean and sunset, by mama, no quote.2.2014

As I’m reading through The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher, I’ve been thinking about all the things we can say no to. (I’ve already mentioned their book in this post.)

Because saying no helps us make room for the important yeses in our lives — the yeses that nourish and serve us.

Because saying no leaves us with more time, energy and even health. It’s how we can listen to ourselves, stand up for ourselves and practice compassionate self-care.


Reflecting On the People In Your Life

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

the power of no

Right now I’m reading the book The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher. I came across a line that struck me:


Body Image And Self-Care: On Asking For Support

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

you are worthy as you are, quote, trees

Last week I wrote about how we can ask for what we need. Because we can’t expect others to read our minds. And we can’t expect them to decipher our hints, jokes or passive-aggressive remarks.

That’s why it’s key to be clear, direct, humble and polite.

Sometimes, though, we might not have the words. We might not know what to say when we’re put on the spot. Or we might be too frustrated, angry or hurt to say the words.


Self-Care And Asking For What You Need

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

white flowers, taken by mama, june 2014

I talk a lot on Weightless about exploring and responding to our needs. This is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and a fulfilling life.

But I know it can get tricky when our needs involve other people — which is often.

Personally, I used to assume that others, if they truly loved one, would automatically know what I needed. That’s how it works, right?

Assuming that others can read our minds — i.e., do the impossible — can lead to a whole lot of hurt feelings, resentment, miscommunication and arguments. Because when those people inevitably don’t deliver, we blame them and ourselves and still remain hungry.


Noticing Your Body From the Inside Out

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

NYC in Oct 2012

Right now I’m reading the book Living with Your Body & Other Things You Hate: How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy by therapist Emily Sandoz, Ph.D, and writer Troy DuFrene.

In it, Sandoz defines body image as simply how the body is experienced. Our body image includes everything from the feeling of our clothes on our skin to the shape of our stomachs.

It includes “how your body feels from the inside out and how it looks from the outside in.”


3 Simple Visualizations to Help You Relax

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

Our rose, april 2014

I hope everyone is enjoying a great Sunday! I wanted to pop in and share several soothing visualizations with you.

You can practice these right now. You can practice them when you’re feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed.

You can practice them to help you ease emotional and physical tension, to decelerate the racing, body-bashing thoughts.

You can practice your favorite visualization as part of a daily ritual — in the morning, afternoon or at night. Light a candle, turn on some soft meditative music, and simply begin.


Practicing Self-Care: The Daily & Weekly Check-In

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

my wall collage, chrome filter on iphone, june, 2014

Recently Susannah, one of my favorite bloggers, shared this check-in post. In it, she lists what’s she’s currently reading, feeling, smelling, tasting, listening to, creating, wanting and pondering.

I love this list because I think it’s a valuable way to check in with ourselves. It’s a simple way to stay attuned to our inner selves.

By writing a list like this we convey to ourselves that yes, I am important, and yes, I’m listening, I’m all ears, You are truly being heard.


An Exercise for Getting to Know Yourself

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

Constructive Wallowing, Tina Gilbertson

One of my favorite topics to explore on Weightless, in addition to cultivating a positive body image and compassionate self-care, is self-discovery.

(I also like to explore self-discovery on Psych Central’s main blog “World of Psychology.”)

That’s because in order to care for ourselves, it’s important to know what we need, what we like and what we don’t like — at the very least.


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