Books Articles

What to Do When Your Inner Critic Is Roaring

Friday, October 17th, 2014

creative joy, wishes

A few days ago, in this post, I shared the many qualities that make up our inner critics, from Tara Mohr’s powerful book Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message. Because our inner critic is very different from our core self.

As Tara writes, “You are not the critical voice. You are the person aware of the critical voice. You are the person feeling perplexed by it or bummed out by it or believing it…You are the entity that is hearing the voice.”

Today, I wanted to share more insights from Tara’s book on how we can navigate our inner critic because she offers a helpful and compassionate approach.


How to Distinguish Your Core Self From Your Inner Critic

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Each of us has an inner critic. In fact, we’re hardwired for one, according to Tara Mohr in her fantastic book Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message.

She describes the inner critic as an expression of our safety instinct. It’s the part of us that yearns to stay safe from dangers like hurt, failure, disappointment and rejection.

And it’s a part that we often confuse with our core selves. We assume that the cruel comments are just us. It’s how we are. And they must be true.

We accept the inner critic’s messages wholeheartedly.


Paying Attention to Our Bodies

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Author Tina Welling had no idea that she had an underactive thyroid. She was experiencing all the symptoms, such as weakness and frequent infections. She was canceling meetings and outings with friends. Her work schedule was getting tougher and tougher to keep up with.

But she hadn’t noticed any of this — until a blood test showed her levels were off the charts. She’d become numb to her own body.


A Unique Way to Approach Your Inner Critic

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

creative joy retreat, 2012, leaf and light

Most of us have a mean — maybe even cruel — inner voice that says everything from “You’re too big to wear that!” to “You’re so stupid!” Understandably, we may grow to dislike — maybe even despise — this inner voice.

We might dislike it because it sounds like someone who used to bully us. Because it sounds like a parent, past partner or so-called friend. Maybe it sounds like the younger you, who regularly received hurtful remarks about your appearance in school.

I like the approach in the book Mindful Compassion, written by researcher Paul Gilbert, Ph.D, and former Tibetan Buddhist monk Choden.


Heart to Heart: Cultivating A Kinder Relationship With Your Body

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

heart-to-heart-cover1

When I was deep in the well of body hatred, I didn’t really see any other path, any other way of being with myself. My friends and family loved me unconditionally, and told me not to be so critical.

But aside from them, there was always a sinking, gnawing feeling that I wasn’t enough, one substantiated (or perhaps triggered) by everything around me.

I ate up these messages. I ate up the messages that said I’d finally be enough when I looked a certain way.


A Vital Part of Self-Care: Your List of No

Friday, August 8th, 2014

ocean and sunset, by mama, no quote.2.2014

As I’m reading through The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher, I’ve been thinking about all the things we can say no to. (I’ve already mentioned their book in this post.)

Because saying no helps us make room for the important yeses in our lives — the yeses that nourish and serve us.

Because saying no leaves us with more time, energy and even health. It’s how we can listen to ourselves, stand up for ourselves and practice compassionate self-care.


Reflecting On the People In Your Life

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

the power of no

Right now I’m reading the book The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher. I came across a line that struck me:


Body Image And Self-Care: On Asking For Support

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

you are worthy as you are, quote, trees

Last week I wrote about how we can ask for what we need. Because we can’t expect others to read our minds. And we can’t expect them to decipher our hints, jokes or passive-aggressive remarks.

That’s why it’s key to be clear, direct, humble and polite.

Sometimes, though, we might not have the words. We might not know what to say when we’re put on the spot. Or we might be too frustrated, angry or hurt to say the words.


Self-Care And Asking For What You Need

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

white flowers, taken by mama, june 2014

I talk a lot on Weightless about exploring and responding to our needs. This is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and a fulfilling life.

But I know it can get tricky when our needs involve other people — which is often.

Personally, I used to assume that others, if they truly loved one, would automatically know what I needed. That’s how it works, right?

Assuming that others can read our minds — i.e., do the impossible — can lead to a whole lot of hurt feelings, resentment, miscommunication and arguments. Because when those people inevitably don’t deliver, we blame them and ourselves and still remain hungry.


Noticing Your Body From the Inside Out

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

NYC in Oct 2012

Right now I’m reading the book Living with Your Body & Other Things You Hate: How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy by therapist Emily Sandoz, Ph.D, and writer Troy DuFrene.

In it, Sandoz defines body image as simply how the body is experienced. Our body image includes everything from the feeling of our clothes on our skin to the shape of our stomachs.

It includes “how your body feels from the inside out and how it looks from the outside in.”


Weightless


Archives



Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



More



 

Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



Most Popular Posts
Recent Comments
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Anna, my pleasure! :) xoxo
  • Anna: Thanks for the shares, lovely! Hope you’re doing well! xo
  • dee: In my private practice I work both with children and adults. We often talk about the inner critic and ways of...
  • WRG: Thank you for this post. It describes me to a T.
  • Margarita Tartakovsky, MS: @ Sheila A, thank you for your comment! It means a lot to me that you found it helpful...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!