On the last pages of her book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar Cheryl Strayed pens her response to the question: “What would you tell your twentysomething self if you could talk to her now?”
These are snippets of her wisdom:
“Feed yourself. Literally. The sort of people worthy of your love will love you more for this, sweet pea.”
“You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write.”
When we got married, Brian and I wrote our own vows. Writing my vows to him, and him reading his vows to me are moments that I will never forget.
Writing our vows gave us both the opportunity to reflect on our relationship, to consider where we started, where we are today and where we’d like to go. To consider our deep commitment to each other.
Writing our vows and speaking them has made them more concrete and meaningful and memorable.
I think we can do the same for ourselves. After all, our relationship with ourselves forms the basis for our relationships with others. It helps us make decisions and make meaning. It forms the basis for everything.
Recently, on her blog Design for Mankind, Erin Loechner shared her non-goals for the new year — something she’s been doing for several years now.
That is, instead of creating resolutions or intentions, Erin shares a list of qualities or traits or habits she’s learning to accept about herself.
Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! This week’s self-care links feature everything from making peace with food to exploring your word for the year.
5 questions for a bright and clear new year.
It is a new year.
But this doesn’t require being a new you.
Of course, you will see this phrase
in many places:
TV, magazines, websites.
You will hear it in conversation
at work, at the checkout line
maybe even at home.
Every year I share the most popular posts (as judged by pageviews) on Weightless from January to December. This year’s favorite posts include everything from dealing with a loud inner critic to coping with guilt after eating to 10 reasons to love our bodies.
Overall, 2014 was all about exploring kindness; getting curious about our bodies, our needs and our identities; navigating negative thoughts and roaring inner critics (instead of trying to banish them, because they only return that much stronger when we try to dismiss them); seeking stillness and adding pleasure to our lives; turning to gratitude (genuine gratitude) when we need it most; and letting go of what no longer serves us.
With 2015 almost here, it’s a great time to reflect on 2014. To think about what we’ve learned from the triumphs, trials, gains, losses, mistakes, and missteps.
For instance, I always reflect on the lessons I’ve learned on my birthday. (Here are 35 lessons I shared this year.)
Spend this Sunday or the beginning of January reflecting on what you’ve experienced, what you’ve learned, and how the year went in general.
Since I’ve been writing Weightless, every year around this time, I’ve shared a list of last-minute gifts we can give to our loved ones and ourselves — whether we’re celebrating Christmas or not. I’ve combined those lists, updated them and added new ideas.
Below, you’ll find a combination of presents you can purchase and gifts that don’t cost a thing. I hope these give you some good ideas.
And, if you’re celebrating Christmas, I hope you have a beautiful holiday. I’ll be celebrating with my very soon-to-be hubby and our family. And, if you’re not, I hope you have a beautiful day.
On some Sundays I share my favorite links on everything from taking compassionate care of ourselves to embracing imperfection to leading a meaningful life on our own terms.
“I remember that this life isn’t meant to be perfect.”
Try an “End of Year Personal Summit.”
Self-compassion is most definitely a verb.
When life gets busy and overwhelming and hard, it’s the simple and small rituals that can ground us. That can serve as an anchor. That can remind us of what is important. Of what is us.
Rituals become familiar actions, gestures we can lean on. They can calm us. They can help us to reflect. To get quiet when chaos swirls around us. And they can become a time we meet all kinds of needs (our need for stillness, serenity, solitude, spirituality).