How many times have you buried your pain with different foods? Or pretended that the bad stuff simply didn’t exist? Thinking that your denial would undoubtedly force the pain to vanish.
If you didn’t react, then it’s not real, or true or right in front of you. If you didn’t react, then it’s a nightmare, and once you open your eyes, life will be beautiful again.
Not surprisingly, letting our pain percolate inside can lead to anxiety, a storm of pent-up feelings and a whole lot of food cravings that we don’t even crave in the first place.
The first year Weightless was born, I spoke with Christine Arylo about what it means to truly love yourself. Arylo founded the movement Madly In Love with ME and wrote the book Choosing ME Before WE: The Everywoman’s Guide to Life and Love.
I am enough because I have a good heart.
I am enough because I try to make thoughtful decisions.
I am enough because I’m doing good work.
I am enough because I try to make others laugh and smile.
I am enough because I am tolerant and patient.
I am enough because I value my relationships.
In April, I interviewed a researcher about attaining a work-life balance. Her first words to me were: There’s no such thing as balance.
And trying to reach a so-called balance is akin to reaching perfection. In other words, it’s not going to happen, and we’re going to drive ourselves insane along the way.
(Here’s the piece if you’re interested.)
But when people say balance, I think what they typically mean is a happy medium or not residing on either side of the spectrum. At least that’s the way I view balance.
I’ve always viewed the women in my family as beautiful, and I’m talking beyond looks. As a whole.
I’ve always admired their compassion, their strength and resilience, their knows-no-bounds generosity, their grace and integrity, their humor and wit.
When I look at them, they are and were beautiful. Plain and simple.
So it’s interesting to me that I spent so many years striving to achieve a very narrow standard of beauty. One that didn’t focus on the above, at all.
Instead, I searched for beauty in all the wrong places, in places that stunted my self-esteem and bashed my body image.
This post was written as part of the Self-Discovery, Word by Word series. This month’s word is “brave,” hosted by Dana at Body and the Brood. Here’s how to participate. And be sure to check out her eloquent post on the small “b” bravery.
It’s been so hard for me to see some of my actions as being brave, because I thought that I was weak for so many years. And I rarely praised myself for anything.
But I am getting there.
In 2006, I am leaving a doctorate program after receiving my M.S., because I don’t love what I’m doing. I want to write.
Days ago, I am writing a post about being fatherless on Father’s Day.
I am trying to feel my feelings and letting the tears flow without telling myself to stop.
Do you know when you’re angry? How often do you let yourself feel the fiery emotion? Do you view anger as a bad feeling?
Maybe like me, your experiences with anger are slim. I could probably count on my hands the number of times I’ve let myself fully express my anger.
My whole life I’ve kept my emotions in – especially when I’ve gotten mad.
I’d let the anger simmer, stew and bubble inside my body. I’d wave it off because I was so worried about how others would react.
If I expressed my anger, would they stop being my friend? Would they yell back? Would they walk away? Would they get mad at me? How long would they stay mad?
I’ve been both afraid of change and antsy for it.
When I fear change, I fear the unknown. I can’t plan out what will happen next, and this bothers me.
I’m slow to get comfortable when things change, unless the changes are absolutely positive, like winning the lottery (yep, still waiting on that one).
I’m also a routine-aholic. For years, I’d eat the same turkey for lunch. I’d have the same cereal for breakfast. I’d drive the same way to school. I’d park in the same place and walk the same way.
I’ve ached for change when I thought it’d bring weight loss, which to me was intertwined with beauty, happiness, sunshine and self-acceptance.
Mondays can be rough for many of us, and this doesn’t create the ideal environment for building a better body image. To help you turn that around, every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit to help boost your body image – and kick-start the week on a positive note.
Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!
I’m a planner through and through.
I used to be worse. When my boyfriend and I would be on our dinner date, I’d start thinking about where we could go in a few hours – or next week or next month.
I also used to be terrible about experiencing pure pleasure. Not only would I be thinking about what’s next on my agenda, but I couldn’t just relax and enjoy what I was doing.
I’d feel this heaviness around my chest and shoulders, big boulders weighing me down.
Today, I’m thrilled to feature the bloggers who’ve participated in our series, Self-Discovery, Word by Word! This month’s word was “creativity,” and I hope you enjoyed reflecting on it.
In the midst of a hectic schedule and life responsibilities, I’m really trying to connect to my creativity. And reading your posts was a wonderful way to do that! Below, are your fantastic posts on creativity in the order I received them.