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Thinness is a cloak.

More accurately, the desire, the seeking to be skinny is a cloak. A mask that keeps others far away. Far from finding out what makes us vulnerable. What makes us tick. What makes us…us.

It helps us lose track of our vulnerabilities, too. This way, we don’t have to pay them much, if any, mind. This way, our tunnel vision – the goal of thin – saves us from digging deeper.

It serves as a shield to protect ourselves from getting hurt.

Below is part two of my interview with Harriet Brown, author of the recently released Brave Girl Eating: A Family’s Struggle with Anorexia, a memoir about how Harriet and her family helped their 14-year-old daughter Kitty recover  from anorexia. Harriet also co-chairs Maudsley Parents, a fantastic resource for parents who’re struggling with eating disorders.

In Brave Girl Eating, Harriet shows parents that no matter how difficult – and at times impossible – seeking recovery can be, there is always hope. Even in the scariest moments, keep fighting.

She teaches us the importance of educating ourselves about eating disorders. In fact, she encountered many practitioners who were either clueless about how to treat eating disorders or espoused outdated information. It’s safe to say that by researching anorexia and its treatment, Harriet saved her daughter’s life.

And – one of the most important points – that the person is not their illness.

In part two, Harriet talks more about family-based treatment, the many myths surrounding anorexia and eating disorders and how her own perceptions of weight and shape have changed.

If you missed part one, please check it out here.

Q: Even though it’s highly effective, family-based treatment (FBT), also known as the Maudsley approach, is viewed by some as controversial. Perhaps this will start to change, especially considering the recent study that showed that FBT was the most effective treatment for anorexia. What would you like parents to know about FBT?

A: I’d like parents to know a couple of things. First, FBT is the best treatment we’ve got right now for teens and children with anorexia. If your treatment providers aren’t familiar with it, or discourage it without a thorough discussion, run don’t walk to another therapist who is at least willing to discuss whether it’s appropriate for your family.

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“Anorexia is quite possibly the most misunderstood illness in America today. It’s the punch line of a mean joke, a throwaway plot device in TV shows and movies about spoiled rich girls. Or else it’s a fantasy weight-loss strategy; how many times have you heard (or said yourself) ‘Gee, I wouldn’t mind a little anorexia’?”

I couldn’t agree more with this excerpt from the memoir Brave Girl Eating: A Family’s Struggle With Anorexia by the amazing Harriet Brown, co-chair of Maudsley Parents, a website for parents struggling with eating disorders, and an assistant professor of magazine journalism at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications.

In reality, anorexia, like other eating disorders, is a serious and debilitating illness.

In Brave Girl Eating, Harriet recounts how she and her family helped her then 14-year-old daughter Kitty recover from anorexia, using family-based treatment (FBT), also known as the Maudsley approach.

Brave Girl Eating is a powerful book that debunks the deeply entrenched myths about anorexia and eating disorders, and educates readers on the key research. Of course, it’s also deeply personal, and at many times, heart-wrenching.

But it’s also hopeful, and in my opinion, an absolute must-read. It’s beautifully written and provides a truly valuable – and much-needed! – contribution to the field.

I’m honored to present my interview with Harriet Brown below. In part one of our interview, Harriet talks about dieting, the early warning signs, what parents can do and so much more.

Stay tuned for part two tomorrow!

Q: With the widespread hysteria over the obesity epidemic, our society as a whole and schools in particular have started instituting potentially detrimental practices (like measuring fat with calipers; weighing kids) and lessons on “healthy” eating. In Brave Girl Eating, you talk about the time that Kitty came home after health class and announced that she was cutting out dessert because it’s unhealthy, a decision that first made sense to you (as it does to so many people). What can parents do in such situations?

A: Great question. Parents are vulnerable to the subtle and not-so-subtle pressures about their kids’ weight. I’d like to remind them that teens grow at different rates, and that they’re supposed to continue to gain weight even after they stop growing height-wise.

Every Monday features a tip, exercise, inspiring quote or other tidbit to help boost your body image. For many of us, Mondays are tough. We may feel anxious and stressed out, anticipating an arduous week, especially if we didn’t get much rest and relaxation during the weekend. These kinds of feelings don’t create the best environment for improving one’s body image. In fact, you might be harder on yourself and easily frustrated. You might even feel like you’re walking on egg shells – with yourself! With these posts, I hope you’ll have a healthier and happier body image day, that’ll last throughout the week.

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky@gmail.com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. It can be anything you do that’s healthy and helps boost your body image. I’d love to hear from you!

Having a positive body image also means recognizing and appreciating your own unique and wonderful beauty.

But I think in order to recognize the beauty in ourselves, we must recognize it in others. That includes recognizing beauty in every noun: people, places and things.

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I almost forgot that this week Weightless turns one! So I wanted to share what I’ve learned thus far. Also, I want to extend a huge and heartfelt thank-you to Weightless readers. I appreciate you coming here every day and reading and commenting. This blog is my baby, and I appreciate you sticking around.

Before I began Weightless, I had studied body image and disordered eating for over four years, both in undergrad and grad school. And I learned many valuable facts and read through tons of research (and did some of my own).

But it wasn’t until I started writing Weightless that I learned the most about the nuisances, the messes and the meaning of body image.

I think many of us can relate to feeling empty. Like something is missing from our lives, something deep within our core. And this missing piece isn’t solved by a lower number on the scale or a new diet.

As Susan and Jennifer explained in part one of our interview yesterday, individuals with eating disorders can suffer from spiritual emptiness, when “their authentic connection to self, others as well as a higher being, diminish.”

And again, this spiritual lack is something that many of us also experience, though certainly in a different way. (Remember that eating disorders are serious illnesses.)

In part two of our interview, Susan and Jennifer focus on this universal lack. They share their ideas on how readers can explore spiritual emptiness and find spiritual sustenance. They also talk about several important recovery tools for eating disorders.

Q: To me, it seems like women without eating disorders can also suffer from spiritual emptiness. How can readers delve deep within themselves to know if they’re suffering from this emptiness?

A: We agree that spiritual emptiness is not confined to women with eating disorders. When individuals are able to explore feelings, thoughts and perceptions that underlie their sense of spiritual emptiness, they may re-discover and reclaim a sense of purpose in their lives that comes from giving and receiving, wholeness through connection and compassion in relationships, including one’s self. One tool that could be used to explore spiritual emptiness is the Cognitive Markers.

Eating disorders are a complex interplay of causes and contributing factors, including biological, genetic and environmental.

Stay tuned tomorrow for part two, where Jennifer and Susan talk about how all of us can attain spiritual sustenance and more.

One of these underlying factors may be spiritual emptiness or “hunger of the soul,” according to Susan Kleinman and Jennifer Nardozzi of The Renfrew Center of Florida.

Today, I’m honored to present Susan and Jennifer’s insight on spiritual emptiness in eating disorders in part one of our interview.

If you remember, I spoke with Susan about dance/movement therapy for eating disorders and managing emotions (part 1 and part 2). Susan is a dance/movement therapist for The Renfrew Center of Florida and past president of the American Dance Therapy Association.

Jennifer Nardozzi, PsyD, is a psychologist who specialized in treating women with eating disorders. She’s currently the National Training Manager at The Renfrew Center.

Q: Jennifer and Susan, you both believe that healing the body and mind from eating disorders also requires taking into account a person’s spiritual emptiness (in addition to traditional treatments). What is spiritual emptiness?

A: The inner lives of individuals who struggle with eating disorders are filled with a profound sense of disembodiment and lack of connection to their self and others. As the eating disorder strengthens and becomes their primary relationship, it creates an illusion of control and their authentic connection to self, others as well as a higher being, diminish. We refer to this as spiritual emptiness or “hunger of the soul.”

Every Monday features a tip, exercise, inspiring quote or other tidbit to help boost your body image. For many of us, Mondays are tough. We may feel anxious and stressed out, anticipating an arduous week, especially if we didn’t get much rest and relaxation during the weekend. These kinds of feelings don’t create the best environment for improving one’s body image. In fact, you might be harder on yourself and easily frustrated. You might even feel like you’re walking on egg shells – with yourself! With these posts, I hope you’ll have a healthier and happier body image day, that’ll last throughout the week.

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky@gmail.com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. It can be anything you do that’s healthy and helps boost your body image. I’d love to hear from you!

Take a minute and think about the words you used this weekend to describe yourself. The words you said to yourself. Or something you said to someone else.

When you looked in the mirror this weekend or this morning, what were the words that swirled in your head?

When you put on your clothes, what thoughts came to mind?