Here’s part two of my interview with eating disorder specialist and author Susan Schulherr, LCSW. Yesterday, in part one, Susan talked about what disordered eating really is and ways we can reduce unhealthy habits.

Today, Susan shares her favorite body image tips, healthy eating myths and facts, how to end fat-talk and much more. I think you’ll find some of her insights surprising – in a good way.

Many people feel like they need rules and regulations on eating because they’re afraid that if left to their own devices, they’ll overeat and basically won’t be able to control themselves. I know I was! What are your thoughts on this? Where do you think this fear comes from?

There’s nothing like having gone out of control with eating to instill a fear of having no control. Out of control eating can result from simply not paying attention. If this is the case, learning to pay attention to body cues, so–called mindful eating, can restore your faith in internal controls.

When paying more attention isn’t sufficient by itself, there is usually something going on inside that’s running the engine of out of control eating. I spend lots of time helping people figure out what that something is. In most of the situations that won’t budge, out of control eating has become the solution to something that feels threatening. Sometimes the overeater is aware of the threat, sometimes not.

For example, a person may turn to out of control eating to cope with the threat of being overwhelmed by emotions or memories, sexual attention, conflict with others, social discomfort, intimacy, failure, success or any other life experience (Notice not all of these experiences seem obviously “threatening.” Much of what feels threatening to any of us has to do with our own personal histories.). Once we establish a thought or behavior pattern that relieves the threat, we tend to go back to it over and over again, even if it’s a costly solution like out of control eating. Our brains like the tried and true path.

An important thing to highlight here is that even though eating can truly feel out of control, it actually isn’t. It’s just that your mind has decided for you that something else is more vital to your well being than reining in your eating. When you discover what that is and develop a better solution for it, you’ll have less difficulty guiding your eating with mindful awareness.

What are some common misconceptions about healthy eating?

I will leave it to my nutritionist colleagues to supply the list of nutritional misconceptions. Below I list some of the most common psychological misconceptions, along with healthy revisions:

Misconception: It’s best to always avoid fattening foods like chocolate, potato chips and butter.

Healthy revision: Our bodies crave novelty. And we all do best incorporating treats into as many parts of our lives as we can!

Misconception: The most controlled eating equals the most psychological health.

Healthy revision: Flexibility equals the most psychological health.

Misconception: Adhering to a pre–determined meal plan indicates healthy eating behavior.

Healthy revision: Learning to follow internal signals of hunger and current nutritional needs is the healthiest pattern.

Misconception: Healthy eating is mainly a matter of willpower.

Healthy revision: When you’re relying on willpower (a notoriously unreliable force when it comes to eating), it signals that something’s off and needs correcting. When we are in psychological balance, our eating can become more naturally balanced as well.

You’ve written before about how dieting and weight loss talk among women can have destructive consequences. What are the consequences and what are your suggestions for ending this kind of talk?

As women, we have been talking to each other, practically from conception, to sort through and understand our lives within our particular culture. These women–to–women conversations are important transmitters of cultural values and beliefs. This is the local precinct in which the rules of “thin” get reinforced. We have such power with one another to perpetuate destructive ideas about how we have to look in order to feel good about ourselves!

What if all that woman power were to turn instead to challenging the rules? Even if none of us can change prevailing cultural beliefs and ideals tomorrow, we can each have an impact within our own circles. This is the makings of grass roots change!

For example, we can challenge ourselves not to promote body hatred talk, not to condone risky or extreme dieting practices, not to denigrate or ridicule large bodies or idealize tiny ones. We can focus our conversations on things having nothing to do with body size that make us value ourselves and others. We can empathize with one another’s body struggles without validating the hurtful rules of “thin” that promote them (notice my examples are all behaviors. You can make these behavioral choices even if you are still struggling inside with the old feelings about size and shape.).

What are several of your favorite tips for developing a more positive body image?

• Develop a list of things you actually like about your body. Some of these may have to do with appearance: you have lovely brown eyes, long legs, shiny hair, and so on. But you also want to think about ways your body supports what you want to do: your health is robust, your natural rhythm makes dancing a joy, your arms are strong—great for your softball swing! Ask your friends if you get stuck.

• Now that you’ve got your list, carry it with you at all times. Whenever unhappiness about your body’s size or shape pop up, whip out your list and determine to change your focus.

• Don’t subscribe to or read fashion magazines.

• Don’t clip cut–out pictures of models or actresses on your fridge to shame yourself into celery sticks.

• Search for role models among women who appear at ease with their bodies that don’t match the cultural ideal. Take notes! These may be women you know and/or women in the public eye.

• Learn what colors and styles of clothing work well with your body proportions and accentuate your best features.

• Consider the following if you can’t seem to shed body hatred or the perpetual war to change your size: Many of the women who get stuck here are focusing all their negative feelings about themselves on body size because, unlike the deeper stuff, it feels like something they can fix.

• Consider consulting with a professional if you simply can’t separate your body size and shape from your worth as a person. (Some women find it especially helpful to join groups or attend workshops led by a professional who specializes in body image issues.)

Anything else you’d like Weightless readers to know?

Yes! People can become very resigned, even hopeless, about disordered eating problems. Readers should know that it’s possible to overcome these harmful patterns, though it usually takes work. For many, the “work” involves looking inside in ways that might not be familiar to them.  Our mind/body systems prefer to be in balance and will gladly go there if we get any psychological obstacles out of the road.

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Thank you, Susan, for an insightful and eye-opening interview! Don’t forget to check out Susan’s eating disorder recovery blog and print out the free recovery sheets.

Do you feel like relinquishing certain diet rules will make you less in control of your eating? What are some of your favorite body image tips?

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    Last reviewed: 21 Apr 2010