You describe so well the power the scale holds over many of us, Margarita. I think Karly Randolph Pitman sums up the most effective strategy for overcoming it — to focus on taking care of ourselves, making feeling good in the moment our goal. When we do that, we’re doing what truly supports us.

Of course, that requires knowing what feels good to us, and that may take a bit of experimentation. Some of us may think what feels good is overeating and being sedentary, but when we experience the opposite, we know it’s not.

When we’re truly supporting ourselves, the importance of numbers fades. It’s all about what we think and feel.

One other quick thought: The opposite of overeating and being sedentary isn’t ‘no pain, no gain.’ Those kinds of approaches set us up just as much for struggle as anything else.

Thanks so much for your comment, Marsha! You make a great point!

We hear so often that we need to participate in grueling workouts, that if we aren’t out of breath and terribly sore the next morning then we aren’t really exercising.

And realistically, that doesn’t sound appealing to most of us, and it’s not true (you can be in great shape and lead a healthy lifestyle by participating in exercise that feels good and doesn’t batter your body!). That’s the all-or-nothing thinking rearing its ugly head.

I also wanted to point readers to Marsha’s excellent post on We Are the Real Deal, a fantastic blog, here: http://tinyurl.com/yjpfuj7. In it, she talks about defining ourselves by our body size.

Is it possible to weigh yourself regularly (nearly daily) and yet not be shackled to the scale? I wrestled with an eating disorder for years… for five years after that I completely put away my scale because it was so compulsive and triggering for me. Since going on some meds where I gained some weight, I’ve pulled out the scale and so far it actually seems like a very good thing.

Rather than beating myself up about weight gain and having it be this unknown quantity, it is now discrete, measureable and therefore much easier to address. It seems like a scale can also be a helpful tool for those of us who are more quantitatively-inclined.

Of course, using a scale as a tool doesn’t get at the issue of why weight is important in the first place. But I’m not sure unseating that assumption is a realistic goal in the first place.

Just thinking out loud. Thanks for the new blog!

Thanks for your comment, JJ! I think like many things, moderation is key. And weighing yourself isn’t inherently a bad thing, like you said it could be a helpful tool – great point!

Like you mentioned, for individuals taking medication – which may cause weight gain – it may be helpful to step on a scale every week. It’s easier to address a 5 lb. weight gain than a 15 lb. one. But, it’s also important to realize that people do fluctuate naturally from week to week, depending on things like water retention.

About weighing yourself daily and not being shackled, I think it depends on how you view weighing yourself, and what the number on the scale means to you. For instance, I may ask myself: What are my motivations for weighing myself every day? How does my weight make me feel? Does it make me take better or worse care of myself?

Where it gets unhealthy is when we allow the scale to dictate our self-worth.

I’m 18 and I don’t even own a scale. I know that I will become depressed by seeing that unholy 130 on the screen, which I know is not that bad of a weight to maintain but for me it feels heavy. My mother struggles with bad body image and as a kid I picked this up, thinking 60 pounds was a good weight and I would weigh myself every day, sometimes multiple times a day and would try to be naked to get the lowest number possible. When I hit 100 in junior high I became depressed, insecure, and withdrawn and would not accept compliments anymore. I am now taking steps to correct my perceptions, so this article was very meaningful to me.

I just found your blog, and so far I like it. I just wanted to add my experience — I used to avoid the scale, but for me it was a way to keep myself in denial. If I did not weigh, I could pretend that I was not gaining weight. That lasted until I reached 370 pounds! I realize most will not reach the weight I did (thank goodness), but I began to recognize that I needed to change.

Now, I weigh myself every day. But, and this is important! I do not let the scale control my mood or how I feel about myself. It is interesting that by weighing every day, I have begun to see how much my weight fluctuates from day to day — and how seemingly little connection that fluctuation has to what I am eating! Now I look for trends in my weight (down or up) over a period of time for indications of how I am doing.

For me, weighing every day has freed me from the stigma of the scale. I only pay attention to the scale when it shows a lower number than before (I am working on being healthier and losing weight), I record that, and I ignore anything else. I figure your body can have a multitude of reasons for going up (water weight, hormones, etc.) but it cannot fake a weight loss. Sometimes I may not record my weight for a month (right now, it’s two months, actually), because it has not gone down. But, I know I am eating the right things (and I have re-evaluated and reduced some not-healthy treats that had snuck back into my menu) and I know my weight will go down. Ironically, I have had more people tell me in the last month that they can tell I am losing weight than before (when I was actually losing!).

Anyway, I know that what I am doing will not work for everyone. If you are one of those who obsesses about the scale, then weighing every day may not work for you. But, for me, it helped me see that fluctuations are normal and I no longer freak out about them.

You have to find what works for YOU. It may be that when I am at a ‘normal’ weight, I will choose not to weigh everyday — but I probably will because I need the accountability!

I was thinking about this post again, and I had one more thing to add: when I didn’t weigh myself, I found that trips to the doctor were especially anxiety producing because I knew I was going to get weighed and I would let that weight that was recorded there define me for however long it was until I happened to go back to the doc. It made a routine trip to the doc miserable. It is much easier for me to know what I weigh ahead of time and skip the foolishness of obsessing for months over what a number at a particular point in time in a doc’s office was. With weight being just an everyday thing it pushes it off its pedestal for me, kind of like what cimmaryn was saying (though this has not always been true in my life!!!).

I do wonder why docs need to get your weight every time you come to the office, though. Like, what does bronchitis have to do with weight?

I relate very well to cimmaryn’s comments. When my weight is out of control and I know it I stay away from the scale. I don’t want to see that scary number and can remain in denial when it’s not staring at me from the bathroom floor. I feel I stay more connected to my goals and remain committed to them when I weigh myself every day. The official weight of the week is on Thursday only, but I monitor throughout the week. Yes – some days when the needle doesn’t budge or jumps the wrong way I get frustrated, but most days I just take it in stride. This is a long term commitment and those kinds of relationships always have a bump or two here and there.
I also keep a food and exercise diary. In addition to causing me to think about what I’ve eaten today and how long it’s been since I exercised, it’s a great resource for meal planning.
If I were in the ballpark of my ideal weight I wouldn’t be quite so vigilant, but for me lack of vigilance leads me to turn a blind eye when things start to get out of control.

Thanks for this post, Margarita, and all the comments. It quite accurately expresses how I felt while deeply involved in my ED behaviour. Actually, the first thing I did when trying to get better was to throw the damn thing out and then vow to never step on one again.
Unfortunately, in in-patient therapy we were all forced to be weighted every week (though I was the only one with ED there and no longer underweight). The first time it was the most godawful experience – seeing in numbers that it had put back on so much of what I’d lost at such great effort and cost to my social life, studies, and health. Ultimately, I never really stopped being afraid or thinking about my weight while I was in there.
However, now back out ‘in the wild’ I’ve found some peace of mind: I no longer weigh myself and find that, now that it is isn’t tied to any numbers or anything I could obsess about, I have come to really, really enjoy sports and exercise.
And I find myself asking: Why did I place so much importance on a number? I feel and look better than ever, and I am pretty sure it is sports and friends and a healthy diet and the occasional sweet that does that. No amount of weighing myself or seeing the numbers drop ever made me feel so good. (I am not above worrying about my looks, no sir, but at least it’s one worry off my mind…)
And as for this silly argument in therapy, that checking on my weight was indicative of health: My clothes fit, I can run six miles easily, and I have an appetite for fruit and veg. I wouldn’t now how knowing a number could add to that.

I used to be chained to my scale, I would eat that day according to what the numbers read. If they were down, I could eat, if they were up, I restricted myself.

I finally got to the point of my journey to loving my body as is and gave up my scale. I gave it up in a very big way:

http://webpages.purple-ducky.com/graphics/freedom/freedom.html

Now the only time I weigh is at my doctors office and only when I go in for my thyroid check ups since a slide into hyper or hypo is usually preceded by a rapid change in my weight.

I used to be chained to my scale. How much I ate a given day was dependent on what the scale said in the morning.

I finally got rid of the scale when I finally decided to love my body as it was and this is what I did with my scale:

http://webpages.purple-ducky.com/graphics/freedom/freedom.html

Now the only time I get weighed is at the doctors office and only in context of checking my thyroid (I have Graves’ disease) as my weight is an indicator of whether I am hyper or hypo with sudden changes.

What an important topic! My clients always ask me whether I will weigh them in my office and I tell them it is completely up to them. They are often surprised by this, but I explain that weight is really just a number, and one that I don’t need to know in order to help them accomplish their healthy lifestyle goals.

Your tips for how to break away from the scale are great!

Well, i think you need to get on most days if you don’t want your weight
to skyrocket seemingly overnight(really a week or two), but take it with a
grain of salt. Weight is science but it is also a bit mysterious, too.
There are daily fluctuations with water in the body.

A) Do not get too upset if:

1) You’ve been good and still gained. Don’t assume you know what it means. If you don’t over-interpret it & it won’t drive your day with an ugly moodiness.

2) You’ve overeaten[whether it’s a) too many calories(I no longer overly obsess about calories), b) just eating more than you needed to be full, or c) ate fattening ingredients. Just get back on the wagon and eat better the next day, using techniques and foods that you know work.

Scale CAN be helpful feedback on how you ate the day before and an indicator how you might want to eat the next day. Just don’t sweat it,
as it’s not always “Right”:)!
It’s more how you feel on the inside and I’m in agreement with this blog that this society is drunk with images of outer appearance. We all do have eyes and it is a joy to appreciate the beauty which they show us(and which we can choose to aspire to in our own way), without letting sight alone dictate everything we feel and do.

Hi Margarita: I wanted to send over this link to a poll we ran asking women how often they weighed themselves;

Here is the link to the poll that is still running, we have just over 900 respondents (click the link at the bottom “view results” to see the up to date stats:
http://watrd.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/the-dreaded-scale/

Here is a post where we talked about the results called “50% of us weigh in weekly, is that a good thing?”:

http://watrd.wordpress.com/2009/10/18/50-weigh-in-daily-or-weekly-is-this-a-good-thing/

Take care, and thank you for addressing this issue!
Heather
aka mamaV

Thanks so much for all the comments! In our society, in general, we’re just so obsessed with weight. But here’s the thing, which I touched on in the post, if you’re eating healthfully and being active then that number shouldn’t matter that much. But you’re already being healthy, and that’s the key.

Hannah, I loved reading your story! It does feel so liberating to stop weighing yourself. I also feel more liberated viewing exercise as a healthy tool, not as a tool for weight loss. It takes the pressure off, and lets you truly enjoy the movement and the health benefits.

JeanC, you weren’t kidding! I love the pics.

Heather, thank you for the links! I just responded to your poll, and I encourage others to check it out and your awesome blog!

Hi Margarita,

I am very excited to find your blog, because I have become so passionate about helping women to love themselves. I am the healthieast I have ever been after A lifetime of struggling, becasue i decided to love and accept myself. Doing that first has made health seem effortless!! If you get the chance check out my story on my blog, Radical Hateloss.

http://radicalhateloss.blogspot.com/2009/10/history-lesson-abriged-version.html

i just blogged about “the scale” as well and linked to this post
http://radicalhateloss.blogspot.com/2009/11/kicking-scale-mr-gremlin-to-curb.html

First, thank you for being another voice for promoting positive body image, and dispelling the myths that personal value is determined by one’s weight, size, shape, appearance. From personal experience, I came to realize that our obsessive concerns over weight (no pun intended) are ruining our lives, debilitating and handicapping. The day I decided to stop worrying about my weight was the day I realized (in retrospect) that I didn’t have to worry about my weight. I had struggled with the same 10-15lbs for years, and finally got fed up. Surprisingly, over the following year without a scale, without counting calories, without making exercise about weight loss, I actually lost weight – about 7lbs. That was over 15 years ago now and my weight hasn’t changed, well at least when I go to my MD twice a year.
Throw the scale away. Eat for health, exercise for health. Be healthy not thin!