Would absolutely agree that the therapist has a responsibility to deal w his/her own issues first. If these interfere w the provision of good, client-centred therapy, then the therapist isn’t ready/able to enter into a theraputic relationship in which there is a risk that s/he will take or be given too much power. And good therapy often sucks– one of the signs that it is WORKING is that you are talking about and dealing w/ things that bother you.

I set boundaries around non-payment issues and will terminate clients who make no effort to pay on bills over appropriate period of time. I consider this a “good therapy” position but not all agree.

After many years of therapy, I would not want to change to another therapist and dredge up the past to a new one; only if there are therapists who deal in the present. Like, what did I do today to help me think clearer or what will I create for the rest of today? I am an integral part of my therapy as I also find new ways to maintain a positive outlook. When I am depressed, I can feel a little knowing that this one won’t last long even if the thoughts try to tell me it will. For me, therapy has always been the trigger rather than my therapist.

Absolutely agree, Sonia. I find most therapists are willing to do a fair share of sliding scale care or pro bono work, but we all have the experience of clients who want much of us for nothing, and for me, that becomes a dependency issue. If it cannot be resolved therapeutically, I will terminate the relationship with a referral to a free mental health clinic as my fees are clearly stated on my original practice disclosure. I find that is also “practicing what I preach” about self-value, but this is found to be somewhat harsh in my group of practicioners. I find that interesting after 20 years in the art and science of mental health. Thanks for your insight.

I practice TIR, Traumatic Incident Reduction. We have all had our traumas but of course some have  ’outside normal experience’ events which could shock and/ or trigger. Our training involves drills which look for buttons to press and you won’t pass the drill till no reactive buttons can be found. We owe it to our clients to keep our ‘case’ out of the session room or we should not be there. It takes training to ” be there” for the client but that is part of our neccessary tool set without which we cannot create a safe space for client healing. Been reading on a PTSD site the indifferent and even shocking treatment by some therapists of their clients. Not all therapists have the training or even the inclination to work in the demanding area of traumatic stress  but to terminate a client ( some by texting!! ) without care and sensitivity bears witness to the fact that they are simply not cognisant of the prerequisites needed for the business they are in. Most clients would understand if the therapist consulted with the them in the process of selecting an appropriate person to refer the client on to.  

Hi Paula,
Have you discussd with your therapist the fact that you are not getting better and that when he is late it upsets and frustrates you?

Perhaps you could talk to him, or write him a letter and read it out to him in therapy, that it’s all gone stagnant and is not helping.

It is your therapy and you have a right to voice these concerns.

I just hope you get your 50-55 mins even though he is late. Perhaps he is running 15 mins all day and you are part of that. It is still not good enough though.

Sonia (and others),just on that, I started a thread on that forum in which I strongly encouraged people to audition prospective therapists as someone who has an understanding of and a track record with traumatic stress, who is happy to explain the methods they intend to use, who acknowledges that it is a unique condition in that the sufferer has NO say when symptoms (like nightmares and flashbacks – replays of traumatic incidents)are going to manifest and that therapists are service providers, that clients should expect(demand!)good service and good value from them. To not defer to their judgement too much till they have proved themselves. They are fallible operators and people should not suppress their own intuition in assessing whether they oughta be there. And I touched on the fact that referrals should be regarded as well meaning rather than informed and that referees would surely appreciate being told when a referral turned out to be wholly inappropriate.
Best to all.

As a therapist I have found that regardless of technical aspects, patients want to be heard–and this includes process oriented self-disclosure which I have found to be very powerful and sets the stage for the therapeutic relationship truly becoming a template for change/insight/relationship healing.

I purposefully have taken fewer clients, since I found I got burnt out when I spent more than 20 hours or so working with people. I have worked primarily with M.A. payment people over the years, although M.A. pays less than most HMO’s, they seem to provide more sessions and flexibility, which many people could use, particularly with so many issues both present oriented and lingering emotional trauma and the like from their past.

I am frustrated that I see some very Financially successful “therapists” that in private don’t seem to care that much about the people they work with, they meet with 30 people a week and just focus on money, and take pride in not allowing people’s stories to affect them. I struggle to not allow some people’s misery to haunt me at times, and don’t think I will ever be able to be Mr. Spock as a therapist, I think about clients at home, particularly when major things are going on in their lives.

I see many therapists that think Therapy means, opinion giver, and they don’t base hardly anything they say on any of they myriad of theories/schools out there–but just their personal biases, this drives me crazy–sitting in team meetings listening to people spew out nonsense about clients they don’t even know, I ask them what theoretical basis they base their conceptualization on…usually these folks don’t read/study it seems, perhaps that’s why they present so arrogantly.

Therapy can be an amazing experience, but also a frustrating and exhausting one, I for one struggle financially so I can actually be present for all my clients, rather than fill up all my time with multiple jobs–at the sake of becoming distant/aloof or some sort of counseling robot.

Yes, Ben, I agree with RG…you sound like a wonderful person as well as a good therapist!

I’ve only had one therapist who listened to me objectively and tried to help me in the best way possible. He was very caring and compassionate.

I don’t work in the psychiatric field, but it seems to me that some people could try to be more like Ben and my old therapist.

I benefit greatly from interaction with a person who doesn’t bring their own biases into a therapy session. Some therapists are good listeners with empathy for their clients. Others are simply in it to make money, not to actually help their clients.

I visited a new therapist today for the first time since 2004. She was nice enough, but as Ben said about some therapists, she had a slightly cold attitude.

I had the feeling that she didn’t care about anything I said. I will give her another chance but her attitude bothered me a little bit.

Hey Therapists, this is how my therapist terminated me.
I quit therapy two years ago because my therapist “thought” I was suicidal, I was not, never ever talked about it….so she took it upon herself to call the local police to check on me . The police broke into my house and handcuffed me!She lied and told the police that she was my Psychologist ( she was a social worker) that was not helpful! I figured with her poor assessment of my mental state, I was best left alone out there. I really wanted to turn her into the State Licensing Board, but I didn’t want my mental records to been opened to non- professionals. I did not have to energy to battle with her.

Great post Sonia. I was one of the folks in cyberspace that blogged you last year about this issue. So BRAVO!

to client abc…my termination nightmare was also by a LCSW. She terminated me on the phone. She used law enforcement to protect herself against the Licensing Board not me. But if you change your mind you can report down the road. It is very simple, it’s all done online.
I realized LCSW’s are only in a 2 year program and one is spent on learning about social services.
They are dangerous because they can really cause harm.

As a suicidal client, i’d love to know why my therapist didn’t refer me to a mental hospital. I mean c’mon. Suicide is suicide. And i’m supposed to just go home as if it’s some kind of joke. Being at home like always won’t solve it.

I used this article (with your name and website) on my blog. I hope that’s okay- I couldn’t say it better. If not, I’ll take it off.
About 5/5 happened to me and I’m still trying to get over it- a year later. In fact my blog is how I am trying to deal with what happened to me. If you take a look, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Yes, I am angry and hurt:(

Also,she told me that when she wants to get rid of a client, she knows how to.

She emailed me after I terminated with her, and the turned on me when a client I referred her to left.

I think she might have emailed to check on me, but I’m not so sure- after she turned on me after I vented to her she said, “If you want to come for a session, that’s fine- if not, then I hope all your dreams come true.” I mean, what the hey- she emailed me and led me to believe she could help me, then turned on me- how can she get away with this?? In an email, after she turned on me, I told her everything she did wrong and caught onto, and how I didn’t appreciate her turning on me after I referred two clients to her.

I feel for everyone on this blog- you do not know how outraged I feel for all of your pain. I can relate.

My family blamed me for my problems because I overate, spent more money than I should have, although not so bad at all and was always angry. In my community, and I’m sure in the secular world, showing anger is bad- not sure why. If one cannot talk to their own family about their problems, then who can we? Certainly not people at work, neighbors and strangers- it’s not appropriate. My parents’ generation was taught I guess, to handle their problems alone, work even if it means to get abused beyond belief, never talk about their problems, eat because we’re poor and respect elders even if it means getting abused- utter nonsense.

I had a shrink cancel sessions for weeks at a time, promise to call me to rebook and them text me to terminate me with no warning.Nice huh? I am getting a lawyer.

I had taken a handful of pills, purely to gain my therapists attention. Terrible thing for me to do. My next appointment was 5 days later and my therapist expelled the most horrible contempt for me. I was told that i had no respect for her, that i was learning nothing, that i felt more for her than just a therapist (which i did, but we had spoken about that and she had told me she was ok with my mother/friend feelings for her) She asked me, with very cold eyes and voice, if this was the way i behaved with everyone. I was told to take a 3 month break with absolutely no contact during that time and that during the 3 month period, i should seriously think about finding another therapist. She completely shredded me.