Well, to tell the truth, we don’t really know.  For whatever reason, some people have a genetic constitution whereby they don’t seem to be affected by much.  You’ve seen people like this all the time, who just seem to have a big smile and cheerful attitude no matter what happens to them or their loved ones.  I have a relative like this who has lost two sons at a young age, and he just “keeps on trucking” like nothing bad has ever happened.  There is a lot of new research on this under the topic of resiliency, if you care to research further, but we haven’t found a real explanation yet, just theories.

Basically, PTSD is a disorder of “failed recovery”.  In essence, people who experience post-traumatic symptoms do not recover from the exposure to trauma as compared to the norm.  Typically, when someone experiences a traumatic event, they initially go into shock, but the majority of people recover within 30-60 days, with the remainder doing so in 6 months.  For example, if a woman was hit by a car while crossing the street, you would expect her to still be rattled for a few weeks following, but feeling markedly better mentally within a month, 60 days at the outset.  We call this an “acute stress disorder”.

But people with PTSD don’t follow this trajectory.  Something happens that causes the post-event recovery to fail.  They get stuck and their nervous system, instead of settling back down, stays activated long after the trauma is gone.  They feel like they are constantly “on edge” and indeed, they are.

So, why does this happen for these folks?  Why can’t their nervous system regulate itself back to the norm?  We don’t know all the answers yet, but researchers are continually pondering this question.  It appears that genetic constitution, previous trauma history, sympathetic nervous system sensitivity and resiliency are all factors.  It is a complex equation, and one I expect that researchers will be scratching their heads about for years to come.

So, if you know someone whose nervous system seems to be constantly in overdrive, suggest they see their doctor first.  Medical causes must be ruled out initially.  If that all checks out, it is likely that they are suffering some form of PTSD, and they should seek help from a mental health professional.  Unfortunately, PTSD never heals on its own.

First of all, it’s normal to feel some anxiety about going “home” to your family of origin if you had some dysfunction in your family while growing up.  The thought of being vulnerable once again to the possibility of having your “buttons” pushed by the people who installed them is an understandable fear.  They know just how to do it to try and get your goat, and often, they succeed.  Let’s try to understand what is really happening here and develop some survival strategies to enjoy, not just endure, your holidays.

I want to define the word “trauma” first to help you figure out if you are really feeling “traumatized”.  Wikipedia defines psychological trauma as “ an emotional or psychological injury, usually resulting from an extremely stressful or life-threatening situation”.  I will add in that it also typically involves the feeling of helplessness or powerlessness, which has a lasting effect on the psyche.  When someone experiences trauma, and later develops post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, the individual has recurring thought or dreams of the trauma, becomes hypervigilant or anxious much of the time, and avoids anything to do with the trauma at all costs.

So, is this you?  Are you shaking in your boots just thinking about sitting next to “Uncle Larry” who was always a little creepy with you?  Or on edge at the thought of mom asking you one more time why you aren’t bringing a “nice fellow” with you to Thanksgiving dinner?

If so, you may have a mild form of PTSD resulting from these childhood experiences.  If these thoughts are actually hindering your daily life and preventing you from moving forward, you should seek help from a qualified therapist.  Make sure you see a therapist who is trained in trauma treatment or  you may find the treatment frustrating.  You should be able to reduce your anxiety and the feeling of being “stuck” or “frozen” with the right treatment.

So, what to do about Thanksgiving and Christmas?  How can you survive?  One of the best things you can do for yourself while away, is to plan ahead and take good care of yourself if you get triggered by old family wounds.  You will know you are triggered because your body will most likely have a rush of adrenaline, and you will feel anxious and maybe sick to your stomach.   If this happens, breathe, go to a private place like the bathroom or a bedroom, and do 10 really deep breaths, then call a supportive friend to process your feelings if that is possible.   Take care of yourself first and worry about their reaction second!

I have compiled a list of Holiday Survival Tips to keep your sanity for those of you visiting home or relatives (or even friends). I hope this helps!

Holiday Visit Survival Tips

1. Schedule telephone calls to supportive friends during your visit for “reality checks”.
2. Rent a car if you are flying, so you can take breaks when you need to.
3. Bring self-help or other literature to read when you get triggered.
4. Exercise every day to release stress (walk, yoga, gym, etc.).
5. If you get triggered, go to the bathroom or a bedroom and deep breathe for 10 breaths.
6. Plan your time so you are not triggered by unknown events.
7. Meditate or pray daily if so inclined.
8. Do something nice for yourself on your visit! (eg. massage, pedicure, etc.)
9. Journal your feelings daily.
10. Get plenty of sleep.

That’s it!  I truly hope you enjoy your holiday, but if that isn’t in the cards, just “getting through” it is ok, too.  Remember, this too shall pass!

Happy Thanksgiving

Dr. Diane Brown

Clinical Psychologist &  Trauma Specialist

But traumas take many different forms, and can go beyond what we typically consider “trauma.”

Dr. Diane Brown suggests these known types of trauma are the “big T” traumas.

But it’s the “small t” traumas that can cause just as much trouble. “The “small t” traumas — such as abusive relationships, growing up in an alcoholic home, chronic pain, infertility, etc. — are the ones that are most misunderstood,” says Dr. Brown. “Most people don’t realize that they are actually suffering chronic, low grade trauma as opposed to “stress” or “anxiety” and therefore, don’t know how to get help for this condition.”

“I would love to raise awareness of this condition and help those struggling by offering explanation, tools and suggestions for healing.”

We would too, so we’re proud to welcome Dr. Brown who will be hosting this blog, The Trauma Chronicles.

You can learn more about Dr. Brown here. Please give her a warm Psych Central welcome!