I think these doctors are nuts, a baby needs to feel secure and loved.
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I agree with holding a baby. I was told with my firstborn to let him cry. I couldn’t do it. I was told to feed him on a schedule. I realized he knew how much to eat, and when he was hungry. I like holding babies. Babies like to be held. And here is my non professional mindfulness view: I think holding a baby and breastfeeding it is the first step of mindful parenting. There is nothing else to do but sit there and hold that baby while it is nursing, and I think it forces the mother to focus on the present moment and her child.
@goingtothedogs
Agreed.
I have three kids. I’m not a “cry it out” mom. I co-slept with all of them when they were infants. I held them pretty much all the time, loving them and playing peek-a-boo, singing and telling them stories.
My oldest needed constant rocking or he would scream non-stop and never sleep. That’s how it started, I guess. It was rough. He is now a super sensitive guy. Terrified of being in trouble, and not one to start an argument.
My middle one would cry no matter what. Not even a car ride could lull him to sleep. I held him and played with him to try to get him to relax. He never gives up. If I had let him ‘cry it out,’ that could take 3 hours or more. (He once cried for 3 hours as a baby and took him to the ER to discover it’s just his stubborn nature….) Guess who now never backs down in an argument?
Lastly my baby, who is still a baby. He is a fighter. We call him “meanie beanie.” He’s only one but if he doesn’t get his way he will bite you, slap at you, and pull your hair. Again, I’ve been holding him since the start. He’s stuborn, yes, and vocal about it. Instead of crying he will just sit and scream at you.
Now, I cared for all of them the same way, with 3 different outcomes. So…. nature has a roll to play in a kid’s personality, too. Not just nurture.
I totally agree with goingtotheddogs. My babies are now 32, 34 and 36, and have grown into capable, compassionate adults. When the grandbabies started to arrive, my daughters raised their babies the same way. When they struggled with lack of sleep and time to do “other stuff” I reminded them that all babies grow up and eventually don’t need to be cuddled all the time but also remember you’re never too old to need a cuddle.
I’m not a mother (yet), but I have been a nanny, and I don’t understand this idea of imposing behavioral modification on a child so young. A child younger than 18 months is never crying for no reason. Discomfort and loneliness are still problems that a caregiver needs to fix for them at that age. It isn’t like a 6 month old is even capable of throwing a tantrum, the only good reason for ignoring a crying child. Even then… Kids need love and guidance, y’know?
couldn’t agree more