Archives for Communication

anxiety

Media Triggers

C.R. writes: Yes, it once again feels to me like a very good time for a news fast. As fascinating as the post-election transition might be, I personally believe that the ever-provocative, ratings-driven idealogues in the media aren't particularly worth watching, reading and listening to—especially if their yapping is causing you stress, or leading to feelings of anxiety or depression.
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Communication

How To Choose A Therapist You Actually Like

Look for a therapist with the right balance of professionalism and personality if you want therapy to succeed. Although ideally you will find a therapist with excellent credentials, appropriate training, and relevant experience, as well as a very high percentage of successful outcomes, if you dislike your therapist or don’t trust them—therapy will not be successful. A therapist should have a fairly good balance of professional attributes and personality. Concerning personality, you want to put at least some trust in your gut feelings. If you would like a more concrete way to assess personality, the following information may help. Likability is important if you want to be able to form the kind of connection you need for successful therapy. There is no shame in rejecting a qualified therapist because you don't "click."
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Addiction

Does Your Therapist Have Successful Outcomes?

When searching for and interviewing a prospective therapist, ask him to tell you about his rate of successful outcomes. A therapist should be able to tell you what percentage (approximately/in the ball park), of his patients with problems similar to yours (for example, clinical depression, borderline personality disorder, addiction, and so on), have achieved successful outcomes with his help. If you don't have a diagnosis, it still may be helpful to hear from the therapist how his patients have improved.
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Addiction

Healing Families With Honest Role Modeling

You can become a healthy role model for your child—even for your adult child. Obviously, the earlier on you model healthy emotions and behavior for your child, the better. A child who grows up with a parent who is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy will usually have a better chance of developing these qualities him or herself. But sometimes, being a role model is deeper than merely being a responsible, thoughtful adult. Children see everything, and are often able to read what we really think, feel, and believe. 
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Communication

Can You Make Verbal Abuse Stop NOW?

How do you get a verbal abuser* to stop abusing you, at least in the short term?

Though there are many ways to attempt to stop verbal abuse in the short term, below is one general script you can use in a variety of situations, when you want the abuse to stop.*

During A Phone Call Or While Texting (Or Emailing)

If the abuse occurs while you're on the phone, tell the abuser: You may not realize this, but...
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Communication

It’s Okay To Tell Your Therapist You Aren’t Happy With Therapy

Is therapy not working for you? Do you feel disappointed in how your therapist and you interact? Do you not seem to be getting to the root of your problems? Do you feel that something is missing? Sometimes in these cases, patients don't know what to do except let therapy drag on until they find a new therapist. Or, they let the feelings of dissatisfaction build up until they reach the point of total frustration and then suddenly quit. Either right away or after a time, they search for someone new. Is there anything you can do to stop this vicious cycle and get the help you want? If you are dissatisfied, you might consider discussing with your therapist the problems with how therapy is going. Tell your therapist why you aren’t happy with therapy or with him (or her). Your genuine feelings should be validated. Your therapist should not be defensive. Give your therapist the chance to correct issues that are alienating you. (Sometimes, your therapist might offer an explanation of why certain processes are in your best interest. Try and stay open to this. You can always discuss anything questionable with a friend, mentor or another therapist.) Remember, you can be your own best advocate.* Preventative Measures One of the best ways to thwart problems is
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Addiction

The Real Reason People Begin To Use Drugs, Drink (And What You Can Do About It)

It's all about feelings. When a person struggles with a sense of self and they aren't sure who they are,  they aren't sure how to experience, live with, or manage their thoughts and feeling. Feelings especially can become baffling, annoying or painful. In many years working in both mental health and addiction, I've found that in general, people try drugs or alcohol, and end up abusing them, because they want to change, forget or control a feeling or feelings.   Changing a feeling can be as simple as
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Communication

What Is Therapy, Really?

*Let's begin answering this essential question: What is therapy, really? By definition, psychotherapy is “The treatment of mental or emotional problems by the use of techniques that are tailored to the unique problems and backgrounds of the individual and that may include talk therapy, behavioral modification, medication, and other treatments.” The goal of psychotherapy is to help resolve an individual’s mental and emotional problems and, at the same time, teach that individual how to attain the skills needed to deal with life on life’s terms. Therapy is also an inner journey with the therapist as guide. With a good therapist assisting you, your emotions (what you feel) begin to get in sync with your intellect (what you know). When your head leads and your heart follows, the world becomes an easier, more meaningful place in which to live. Therapy is not about
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