In part one of our interview with Dr. Sally Palaian we discussed whether or not money addictions were “real” addictions and learned about Dr. Palaian’s wonderful book, Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth.

What kinds of money issues do you see most in your practice?

The number one problem that I see in my practice is that people are afraid to look at their financial life.  It’s difficult to face in a very materialistic culture, where it appears on the outside that everyone knows what they are doing.  I tend to see individuals who are overspenders, and have no clue where their money is going, or individuals (and business owners) who are financial underachievers, and need to work on negative beliefs about money.

When I work with couples, the most common problem is a financial power struggle –either the partners came from different financial circumstances, have different values, or have different money styles.  These differences aren’t problems by themselves; they are problems because the couple doesn’t have communication skills to handle the differences.

From an emotional perspective (vs. a step-by-step practical perspective), are there basic steps people can take to get spending under control?

Unconscious spending is done as a mood changer so learn what emotions cause you to spend money on things you don’t want  – depression, low self esteem, lack of stimulation, anger.  Take time to reflect about the feelings that trigger your spending.  Keep a journal to record these feelings.

Begin to identify alternative tools to handle these uncomfortable, difficult feelings.  Maybe you need to exercise, reach out to support people, find other activities that give you pleasure.

Take time to write in your journal about your childhood experiences of money, so you can decipher the language you’re trying to express through your spending.  The worksheets for doing this are on Hazelden’s website.

Are you currently doing any research?

I am currently conducting research about the psychological and emotional experience of being in debt.   Once people come out of denial and see the wreckage of their behavior, it’s excruciating.  I’m doing the study to shed light on this life changing experience – aiming to help people before they dig such deep pits.   

Is there anything else you would like to add?

We are at a wonderful juncture in history right now. We rode the abundance train almost to the brink and now we have a chance to re-think our values.  The economic crisis is causing everyone to become more conscious about money and is bringing us back to the basics of what makes us tick as humans.  It’s perfectly acceptable now to look deeper inside ourselves to discover our true worth as humans.

Thank you so much for your time, Dr. Palaian. We are very pleased to feature you on Therapy Soup.

Sally Palaian, PhD is a clinical psychologist in Michigan. Learn more about her practice at her web site, www.SallyPalaian.com.

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Money Obsessions, Addictions, and Other Dysfunctions: Part 2 with … (July 12, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 12 Jul 2010