Steven Diamond and Lion

Today we continue our interview with former magician Steven Diamond. (Part 1 of our interview is available here.) We begin where we left off — with Steven telling us how his life changed after he collapsed while on tour with “The Osmond Brothers”:

Still, I knew I needed more help. I knew that if I was going to live, I had to find someone that believed “it wasn’t all in my head.” I embarked on a journey to find the right doctor. At the time, I had no idea that what I was looking for was a therapist. They were all “doctors” to me.

One day someone told me for the very first time, “I think you are suffering from a combination of Manic Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder combined with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” To which I elegantly replied: “Huh?”

Richard Zwolinski (RZ): We noticed from your bio that you saw 8 different therapists! We wrote Therapy Revolution because there are so many people who end up on this therapy-go-round with therapist after therapist, never getting the help they need. Can you tell us, first, what didn’t work for you in therapy?

Steven Diamond (SD): In reality, I have seen more like 18 therapists since my book OCD: A Life Among Secrets was first published. It was a horrible experience finding the right one. Time and time again I encountered “clock watchers,” as I called them — meaning therapists who didn’t really care about you. What they cared about was seeing as many patients as they could fit in that day. For them, it was all about the money and the “50 minutes” (that gave them 5 minutes to get you out and 5 minutes to get the next one in).

Then there were a few good actors worthy of at least a Golden Globe. Those were the ones that had mastered the fine art of pretending to care. But it was no illusion to me. I became very angry inside. This cycle of never-ending “therapist” had to stop. It just seemed to me that no one really cared about me. They all had some other motive that forced them to see me. I even caught one rolling his eyes. As if he had heard it all before.

It was at that point I decided to approach this from a different angle. This time, I was going to “audition” my potential therapist. As if I were casting a part in my show, before I agreed to spill my guts, yet once more.

By this time I had learned well what I was looking for and what I felt I needed. So I developed a list of questions that I would ask. Things like, “Tell me why you chose to be a therapist?”

That question alone will tell you everything you need to know with some candidates. If I was going to get on this ride, it was going to be a two-way street. I wanted a conversation. I wasn’t the type to sit there and expect miracles to happen, and I didn’t need someone to just sit there and listen to me either.

Choosing the right therapist is very important. Though it can be an overwhelming process, it is a process that is well worth it in the end when you find that person that you can trust, respect and be completely honest with. Even when it hurts.

RZ: Your story is unique in that so many patients don’t give themselves the permission to take charge of the interview process. They feel angry, sure, but they still feel too vulnerable to take charge. Good for you! It’s great that you finally found the right therapist. Can you tell us what eventually did work for you in therapy?

SD: Therapy changed my life completely. It allowed me to understand that it wasn’t all my fault. That I was not my behavior. That I was here for a specific reason and it helped me to answer the right questions that ultimately lead me to my true life’s calling.

I never say that therapy is easy. In fact, I tell people all the time that therapy is only for the brave. It takes courage. It can be a truly painful experience at times. Yet when you’re working through that pain, you find the answers you seek. The funny thing is … it really was “all in my head” after all. And in my heart, too. There was so much about me I didn’t understand. So much I never even knew. I always say that the people who think they know who they are might need therapy the most, and it’s true because we should never stop evolving, growing or learning about life and ourselves. There is so much more to “us” then the skin in which we are trapped.

Therapy is a journey of self-expression, it’s art — but you’re the artist, the canvas and the paint. It was through good therapy that I reinvented myself into the person I was meant to be. Not the person I always thought I was. Therapy showed me the colors I had to paint with. It taught me how to connect to the core of my being in a way I am not sure would have been possible otherwise.

The medication was only a tool to help bring calm to a storm that had been brewing for 30 years. It wasn’t the answer. And never will be. I assure you if you don’t deal with your core issues, your issues will deal with you. The answers can only be found through profound self-understanding that at times may be painful to endure but releasing and freeing at the same time.

RZ: When, why, and how did you decide to switch gears and seek answers outside of therapy?

SD: At some point during my therapy process, I realized that it wasn’t working for me anymore. I felt as if I had outgrown the therapist, as strange as that sounds. I tried group therapy for the first time, and it was there I came to the realization that it wasn’t just me. There were many people searching for the same answers that I was. Then, something strange began to happen. People would pull me aside and ask me questions. I guess the things I said hit home. Maybe because of my strong personality.

I spoke with so many people and came to believe that though our stories maybe unique to each of us the process of living is basically the same. Then an agent called me begging me to cover for another entertainer who was sick and had to be taken off a cruise ship.

I truly had no desire to perform again, but agreed to do the gig. While aboard Royal Caribbean’s “Legend of The Seas” cruise ship, I began to write what would eventually become my first book. During the shows, I started mentioning that I was writing my first book and a little about what it was about.

A lot of people asked me questions. I started looking for answers to the questions I was getting. Some questions were typical, others weren’t and I would become obsessed with answering them.

The unique thing about being a headline entertainer on a cruise ship is that each week I had a new “study group” of 2,500 people to question, talk with, and learn from. Over the course of the next year, I spoke with literally thousands of people. I also began holding informal talks on the ship, and it was there I found my voice.

I began to develop what has evolved into a 15-week audio course which focuses on anxiety and stress management. I developed it with experts in the field.

RZ: You are a real self starter — you created an audio course which has actually gotten great reviews and been talked about in major media, published your own book, created Stopstressingnow.com, a web site dedicated to discussing stress and anxiety, and so much more. Can you tell a bit about what motivates you to keep doing all this work? Is there a spiritual component?

SD: Great question! If I was doing this for the money, I would have quit by now and gone back to magic for sure. There are days when I feel like giving up, like no one is listening and no one cares. And then, I’ll get a letter or an email from someone who says they’ve been helped. No standing ovation I ever received from the stage is worth that. Knowing that I’ve helped someone is what gets me out of bed every day. It’s what I was put here on earth to do.

For most of my life, I thought I was a magician.

Life had something far more magical in mind. I had found ways to cope when I felt there was no hope and I shared those ideas with others. I’ve been there and that’s what keeps me going. I don’t think it could be any more spiritual.

RZ: You mentioned that you worked with and were close with the Osmonds. Can you tell us how they are holding up after the recent tragedy?

SD: The Osmond family saved my life. I will always have a very special place in my heart for the love, kindness and generosity that family showed me during one of the most difficult times in my life. Without question, they are among the most special people I have ever met. The recent tragic event in Marie Osmond’s life is yet another test that family will have to endure. However, I can tell you that they will pull together as a family using their strong faith and get through it one day at a time. And then, the show will go on. I love them all and my heart goes out to the entire family as they show the world what strength through love is truly all about.

Thank you so much for your time, Steven, and for sharing your story and your photographs. This was an amazing interview!

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To learn more about Steven Diamond visit www.stopstressingnow.com or check out his radio show here.

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From Magic to Mayhem and Beyond with Steven Diamond: Part 1 : StopStressingNow.com (March 18, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 18 Mar 2010