Depending on who’s doing the thinking, people (including “experts”) have differing, even openly conflicting, viewpoints on anger. Here are some:

Anger, and the expression of anger, is healthy, natural. It’s only a problem when it is out-of-control or hurts someone.

Anger is only a problem if it is repressed. It is good to get your anger out (as long as you don’t harm anyone).

Some anger is justified. 

Anger is never justified.

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It’s hard celebrating Mother’s Day when you want children and you don’t have them. It’s also hard celebrating mother’s day when you don’t have a mom.

Of course, there are many reasons why you might be momless. Are some of them more painful than others?

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C.R writes: By now we’ve all heard about the emotionally overwhelming escape of three young women who were kidnapped ten years ago—Amanda Berry when she was 16, Gina DeJesus at 14, and Michele Knight at 20.

This is an incredible story and reminded me right away of Elizabeth Smart and others who had a big chunk of their lives stolen by, well, monsters I’d call them.

Naturally, the negativistas out there are waxing antagonistic about the victims and buzzing about whether or not the girls missed opportunities to escape before now.

It sure doesn’t sound like it.

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According to a survey, nearly 43 percent of teens report texting and driving at least once in the past 30 days, reports Sciencedaily.com.

I bet the number is higher. If you are a pedestrian crossing the street is a hazard because of texting drivers.

So is driving.

It seems like the driver of every other car is talking on a cell phone or texting. Texting of course, is scarier since most people have to look to text, but talking on a cell phone is scary enough.

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Book Lovers Corner: ‘Sharp: A Memoir’

C.R. writes: By now, you’ve probably read or at least heard of Sharp by David Fitzpatrick. PsychCentral’s Margarita Tartakovsky interviewed the author last summer.

I read the memoir for the first time recently because I was seeking information on self harm. I don’t recall a book making me cry before. Actually, not merely cry but sob out loud. The language and the story are roiling, painful, raw, lush, and ultimately very uplifting—but absolutely not for the faint of heart.

David was obviously a very bright, sensitive child. But when his brother started to abuse him, he taught himself how to practically nullify himself with passivity. In college, during intense drug and alcohol binges, his roommates also abused him, covering him with food. This went on for the majority of his time in school. He doesn’t fight back, but remains passive.

At some point, he describes a veil dropping down between him and the world. The veil didn’t lift for 17 years. Only after 30 hospitalizations, and multiple incidents of manic episodes, depression, and self harm, including what can be described as orgies of cutting and blood-letting.

Yet, with the support of therapists, especially one who really helped him set and work on goals,  as well as love from family and friends, and medication, David’s veil lifted. He completed an MFA in writing, got married, and wrote a bestselling book.

He has the unique ability to open himself up to the world and invite it in. That sensitivity, is perhaps a component of his personality that opened himself up to such pain, but it also informs his awareness of the beauty of life.

Upon discussing this book with others, including the cutter who suggested I read it to better understand what she was going through, I was reminded that Sharp might be triggering to some (which Margarita Tartakovsky did point out in her blog post.) Perhaps especially for people who are depressed or bipolar and/or who self-harm.

If you haven’t read Sharp and are worried about being triggered, discuss this first with your therapist. Perhaps he or she can read it with you or you can read it in a group.  If you feel reading Sharp might be too intense for you, you can still take in some of David Fitzpatrick’s message. I suggest the video, above.

David Fitzpatrick emerged from the depths of mental illness and self-loathing to self-awareness. He appears to live and write with bare-bones honesty. He also is immensely talented, with a bit larger than life writing ability, and he has something to say that’s never been said in this way before. There’s a compelling mix of sweetness, innocence, and the darkest dark.

His journey, like his book, can teach us how to learn to love your self, to appreciate your talents, your kindness, your goofiness, your love-ableness, and to take that first step out of the clutch and thrall of the pit inside. It’s a story of hope, hard work, and grace.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. —Fran Lebowitz

Remember the good old-fashioned “bad case of nerves” or nervousness? Is there really such a thing?

Yes, there is.

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What if you had a photographic memory? It sounds pretty amazing.

But what if your memory went way beyond photographic, and you could literally remember every single day of your life?

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Today is Earth Day. Thanks, Nasa.gov, for helping us put it all in perspective.

(Photo by Nasa.gov.)

Gossip, like all negative speech, is damaging. Whether it is true or not! It can cause intense pain and even ruin lives.

But, gossip doesn’t just harm the person being gossiped about…think of gossip as third-party verbal abuse. After all, the person listening to it is being pressured to think negatively and disparagingly about others.

This beautiful video illustrates the power of gossip unleashed, and ends with a simple solution. We’ll file it under the “God in Therapy Posts” but no matter what your beliefs, take a look.

C.R. writes:

Sometimes we get it mixed up. We personalize events, but don’t grasp their personal message.

I’ll try and explain.

I was thinking about this the other day when someone I was sitting next to in a class made a comment that really wasn’t designed to do anything except express how she felt about a personality type (of which I most definitely belong.)

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