Addiction

Healing Families With Honest Role Modeling

You can become a healthy role model for your child—even for your adult child. Obviously, the earlier on you model healthy emotions and behavior for your child, the better. A child who grows up with a parent who is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy will usually have a better chance of developing these qualities him or herself. But sometimes, being a role model is deeper than merely being a responsible, thoughtful adult. Children see everything, and are often able to read what we really think, feel, and believe. 
Continue Reading

General

Is Seeing Believing? Or, Is Believing Seeing?

Magic or Psychology? Making Something That Doesn’t Exist Disappear on PsychCentral's News blog, reports on an Oxford University study led by Dr. Matthew Tompkins. Dr. Tompkins said, "The founding fathers of psychology were keenly interested in understanding how magicians could manipulate people’s perceptions." Participants watched videos, some of which contained magic-acts, some of which didn't. Yet, many of the subjects saw magic acts occurring, even when there weren't. Dr. Tompkins said, “We think what may be happening is that people are effectively confusing their expectations with a true sensory experience. Today, we have more opportunities to be manipulated into false beliefs than ever before."
Continue Reading

Communication

Can You Make Verbal Abuse Stop NOW?

How do you get a verbal abuser* to stop abusing you, at least in the short term?

Though there are many ways to attempt to stop verbal abuse in the short term, below is one general script you can use in a variety of situations, when you want the abuse to stop.*

During A Phone Call Or While Texting (Or Emailing)

If the abuse occurs while you're on the phone, tell the abuser: You may not realize this, but...
Continue Reading

Communication

It’s Okay To Tell Your Therapist You Aren’t Happy With Therapy

Is therapy not working for you? Do you feel disappointed in how your therapist and you interact? Do you not seem to be getting to the root of your problems? Do you feel that something is missing? Sometimes in these cases, patients don't know what to do except let therapy drag on until they find a new therapist. Or, they let the feelings of dissatisfaction build up until they reach the point of total frustration and then suddenly quit. Either right away or after a time, they search for someone new. Is there anything you can do to stop this vicious cycle and get the help you want? If you are dissatisfied, you might consider discussing with your therapist the problems with how therapy is going. Tell your therapist why you aren’t happy with therapy or with him (or her). Your genuine feelings should be validated. Your therapist should not be defensive. Give your therapist the chance to correct issues that are alienating you. (Sometimes, your therapist might offer an explanation of why certain processes are in your best interest. Try and stay open to this. You can always discuss anything questionable with a friend, mentor or another therapist.) Remember, you can be your own best advocate.* Preventative Measures One of the best ways to thwart problems is
Continue Reading

General

Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back?

Your Belief System: The Longer-Shorter Path In the last post, we focused on coping skills and strategies, which are the emotional scaffolding upon which your life reconstruction can begin. In this post we'll discuss your general belief system. This may include beliefs about who you are, how much self-determination you believe you have, spirituality/religious beliefs, what your life is truly about, and so on. These are the foundation upon which your life actually rests. A dysfunctional belief system is a set belief or group of beliefs that impair an individual’s ability to function in a mentally, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically healthy manner.
Continue Reading

Flying Phobia

Need Better Coping Skills? Therapy Can Help

Your Emotional Scaffolding: Developing Coping Skills The systematic, yet personal approach that I believe really works is a combination of the use of proven treatment methods and the therapist’s techniques. Effective therapists primarily use proven treatment methods supported by their own studiously developed personal techniques. Whenever possible (and that is the vast majority of the time), it's important for your therapist to first help you improve—or, if necessary, develop from scratch—your emotional scaffolding comprised of your coping skills and strategies, before digging up and exploring your past.
Continue Reading