Do you tend to make resolutions for the new year? Or do you just let the year unravel as it will?
Either way, then what happens?
For if you take a step back and look at what happens next, there might be important patterns in the way you make promises to yourself (or not) and how you go about trying to fulfill them (or not). And who you see yourself as accordingly.
Anecdotally, apparently many of us will make a resolution, and within weeks we’re ‘breaking it.’
And then what?
If that’s you, will you use this breakage to punish or torment yourself with somehow? Will you feel bad about it? Tell yourself you’re a failure (again)? Will you hurt yourself on the sharp edges of the broken pieces? (And did you have a sneaking feeling this might happen all along?)
If that’s your pattern with resolutions, does it seem familiar in other parts of your life? Where might you have learned this from? When?
And do you inadvertently help set the whole ‘failure’ thing in motion in the first place by picking a resolution that’s too hard to reach? Too much of a stretch. Selecting improbable or impossible things and then inevitably ‘failing.’ (Again)
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Gayle C
2:12 pm on
December 28th, 2010Thanks for this. I think a lot of times we make resolutions focused on restriction and deprivation, instead of something more positive and productive. What if instead of vowing to lose 10 pounds this year (and then beating ourselves up for not accomplishing it) we try reading a new book every month, or spending more time with our kids? With more positive goals, we build ourselves up for success instead of failure. Check out these and other ideas at:
http://www.readthespirit.com/ourvalues/
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