Archives for Problems


The Story Of The Sky Within You


It's an old story. Old as the hills. And yet new every time it tells itself again.

Have you heard it told to you lately?

The clouds have gathered, thick and dark, on your skies. They're banked up and rolling heavy to your horizon. Maybe the rains have already started, pouring their grief over everything you know and soaking it all through with shadows. And then maybe the wind starts up. The lightning. It seems everything is going wrong at once.

It's hard to imagine ever riding out this storm.

And yet, if the story has its way, there will come a moment. A moment you might not notice at first. A moment that can start out smaller than small. But it's enough.

Enough to invite a shift - an infinitessimal shift - that's almost no shift at all. Except that it is.

So something tiny changes.

And somehow that awakens the next little change.

Until, gradually, all these fragile moments come together - like countless particles of light converging - almost invisible on their own. But together, slowly, they can start to pull the temperature of your day in a warmer direction. Together, they start to matter.

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Do You Trust Yourself To Heal? Bringing Therapy To Life

Trust is such an important part of therapy. And, of course, of life

So do you trust yourself?

To know yourself.
To grow yourself.
To heal.

A gentleman born in the early 1900’s trusted you, even though you’ve never met. His name was Carl Rogers, and he was a psychologist. And he believed that you – that all of us – have the innate power to understand and heal ourselves. He believed that somewhere inside, you have the solution, the answer, the salve for your life’s struggles. And that trust will help unlock them.

So how do you do that?

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Therapy For Your Thoughts: Fact, Fiction And Functioning

Have you ever felt anxious about something that turned out to be nothing?

Worried about an event that never ended up happening (except maybe in your own imagination)?

Perhaps you've caught yourself planning for trouble before it actually hit.

And feeling the feelings that comes with all of this... 

It can be pretty sickening - a lurch in your gut, a fast-beating heart and sometimes you might even get the sweats. And no wonder. For your thoughts are joined to your feelings - intricately linked. As one moves, the other will probably follow.

So it's important to keep an eye on your thoughts, to monitor them a bit, so a sudden downward spiral into darker feelings doesn't catch you unawares. And so you can nip any unnecessary anxiety in the bud if you want to.

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Perfectionism, Procrastination And Preparing A Plan For Your Life

How will you know that you're ready to start? Once you've planned and perfected and plotted all your goals on a graph, like we're so often encouraged to do. How will you know you're ready?

It's an important question, whatever change or dream or hope you might be facing. (And, life being what it is, it's pretty rare not to be facing one of these sorts of things…)

So how will you know you've done enough preparing and perfecting of the plan - and when it's time to just take the plunge?

Does the perfecting have a use-by date?

Or is it something you could get lost in the safety of and languish in forever if you wanted to?

Something comfortable, even?

Something that perhaps beguiles you with the promise of being able to predict and resolve almost any problem that may arise - before they appear, of course. (And in a universe of potentially infinite possibilities and permutations, is that even possible?)

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Mental Health Day: The Therapist Within

Cloudy days will come.

For you. For your family. For your friends.

And not just the kind that dominate the skies above you. But also the ones that help set the weather within you. The internal cloudy days that send your mental and emotional landscape into overcast sadness.

Cloudy days will come...

I was thinking this the other day, when some of my family came to Sydney to visit. Even now, in spring, it was suddenly cold and wet again. And even though it was sun that we wanted, it was cloud and some rain that we got (as you can see in the photo).

So what do you do when the internal cloudy days come to visit? How can you get through them? Or maybe even prepare for them? On this year's Mental Health Day, perhaps it's worth getting mentally meteorological and taking a look at what you'll do when your weather changes.

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What Is Anger Trying To Tell You About Your Life?

Anger. It’s got a pretty bad reputation. And we’re often told what to do with it: be careful with it. Suppress it. Vent it. Override it. It’s like anger’s some kind of volatile, toxic force to be harnessed or defused.

But maybe there’s another way of looking at it altogether.

Maybe you can actually learn from anger. Listen to it. See what it has to tell you. Get curious about it.

The sticker in the photo (above), in a cleverly vandalised train carriage I travelled in recently, has another suggestion for how to respond to anger:
“If anger is present
rove to another age”
So let’s take another look at anger for a moment.

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Feeling Overwhelmed? Here Are Some Ways Through

Sometimes life is just challenging. Hard, even. Just when you think you've got plenty to deal with, along comes even more. Right on time.

It can start to swamp you. Overwhelm you.

That's what this photo reminds me of (above). A street art tsunami coming for you at the end of a no-through-road. It can feel hard to escape...

So what can you do to help yourself through the overwhelm? How can you get through life's no-through-roads?

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