Part III: Developing Satisfactory Peer Relationships

According to Research:

1. Adolescents who do not develop positive peer relationship are at a greater risk for developing problems such as delinquency, substance abuse, and depression (Simmons, R., Conger, R., and Wu, C., 1992)
2. Teens that have friends also have increased self-esteem, emotional support, and guidance
3. 69% of girls in parent-adolescent surveys commented that they “very much” wanted help learning how to make friends (Stromme & Stromme, 1993)

The following tips can be used to help teens develop satisfying friendships.  If you are a parent, consider the following discussion points with your daughter to help her learn how to make more satisfying relationships.  If you are a teen, consider the following discussion points as a means to evaluate your current friendships.

Identify Desirable Qualities:  Think about past friendships or relationships that you have formed.  Does anyone stand out as an exceptional friend?  Or, what are the qualities that you value in a family member?

It is important to make friends with people who exude these same positive qualities because friends serve as an interpersonal bridge to the world and will contribute to your evolving identity.  Choose friends who bring out the best in you.

Choose Friends who Treat you with Respect:  How do you feel when you hang out with your friends?  Do your friends value your uniqueness and make you feel good about yourself?   Since adolescences is the time when the greatest degree of conformity and susceptibility to peer pressure occurs, peers become central to an adolescent’s support system, identity, and feeling of “belonging-ness.”

It is important to choose friends who do not make you feel that you need to change or conform to the group’s expectations.

Get Involved: Get involved by joining activities, clubs, and sports that interest you.  By joining these activities, you are putting yourself in a position in which you can meet new friends and these new friends already share a common interest with you.  A BONUS!!

Make an Effort to get to Know Someone: Building interpersonal relationships does not always come easily.  Sometimes it can be really hard to ‘put yourself out there’ and meet new people.  Just remember that you are not the only one who is shy or the only one who wants to meet new people.  Consider starting a conversation with someone that you don’t know by complimenting something about that person.  By giving someone a compliment you are instantaneously putting the other person into a positive frame of mind as well as establishing yourself as a caring and thoughtful person.

Works Cited:

Simmons, R., Conger, R., & Wu, C. (1992).  Peer group as amplifier/moderator of the stability of adolescent antisocial behavior. Paper presented at the meeting of the Society for Research on Adolescence, Washington, DC.

Stromme, M.P., & Stromme, A.I. (1993).  Five cries of parents.  New York: HarperCollins.

Part II:  Establishing a Positive Self-Image

According to Research:

1. Self-esteem assessed for girls between the ages of 8-9 reveal that 60% of girls report positive feelings, compared to 67% of boys (LeCroy & Daley, 2001)
2. Teens between the ages of  16-17 indicated that only 29% of girls felt positive feelings about themselves compared to 46% of boys (Roshar & Rierdan, 1994)

The following tips can be used to help teens develop a positive self-image or to think favorably about the unique traits that make them who they are.  If you are a parent, consider the following discussion points with your daughter to help her increase her self-image.

Recognize Signs of Self-Abasement:  Do you frequently make fun of yourself or put yourself down in front of other people?  Do you often set unrealistic expectations for yourself and feel bad when you can’t fulfill your lofty goals?

Answering ‘yes’ to any of these questions may mean that, at times, you set yourself up to experience frustration and negativity.  Negative self-statements lead to a downward spiral of emotions.  Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, focus on the things that you are proud of in life.

Identify Supports in Your Life:  When you are upset, who can you talk to that will make you feel better?  Who is someone that makes you feel better when you are down?  It is important to identify people in your life that will listen to your concerns and make you feel better.  Just knowing that you have support to go to in times of need can increase your mood, in addition to helping you develop effective coping skills.

Baby Steps: When we feel bad about ourselves we can experience extreme negativity and everything seems to go wrong.  Instead of dwelling in the fact that certain things aren’t going in the right direction, consider focusing on changing a few things at a time that you can control.  Take baby steps, and you’d be surprised how accomplishing a few small goals can make you feel better about yourself.

Follow Your Dreams: Explore your passions and step outside of your comfort zone.  You will never know what you can achieve until you try.  By engaging in activities that you enjoy, you will feel better about yourself and you may meet people with similar interests who will make you feel better about yourself

Works Cited:

LeCroy, C.W.,  & Daley, M.W.  (2001).  Empowering Adolescent Girls: Examining the present and building skills for the future with the go grrrls program.  New York: Norton Publishers.

Rosner, B.A., & Rierdan, J. (1994).  Adolescent girls’ self-esteem: Variations in developmental trajectories.  Paper presented at the Society for Research on Adolescence, San Diego, CA.

Part I:  Establishing an Acceptable Body Image

According to Research:

1. 80% of high school girls reported that they were above the weight of which they would be happiest (Fisher et al., 1991)
2. Early adolescent girls are already aware of the concept of dieting
3. 78% of teenage women (13-19 years old) are dissatisfied with their weight (Eisele et al, 1986)
4. A negative body image is positively correlated with low self-esteem and depression

The following tips can be used to help teens develop an acceptable body image.  Or, if you’re a teen, consider the following discussion points to gain a better understanding of whether you have a healthy body image.

Recognize the Influence of the Media:  If you landed on Earth after having lived your entire life on another planet and your only means of learning about women was achieved through watching TV/looking through magazines, what characteristics would you attribute to women?  Are women merely objects of desire?  How are men supposed to treat women?  What messages are conveyed through the media about women?  Point out to your teen that magazine advertisements are designed to sell products and often they can be harmful to one’s self-image.

Awareness to Unrealistic Measurements:  You know you’ve seen those wafer thin bodies plastered on billboards and in magazine ads.  Do these women look healthy?  Could they withstand physical exercise without breaking? Do they look happy?  Next time you see a super skinny model, ask your teen if she thinks the model is happy and remind her of everything the model has sacrificed (i.e. her happiness, health, food, relationship with family, etc.) to look the way she does.  It just isn’t worth it!

Equate Attractiveness with Behaviors: What is beauty?  At first you may be tempted to name physical characteristics such as a slender build or clear skin, but step outside of what may be considered traditional beauty.  Have a conversation with a teen and help her to see that beauty comes from within.  Help girls equate attractiveness with behaviors and redefine beauty as a combination of uniqueness and character traits that they alone possess.

Evaluate your Relationship with Your Body:  How do you feel about your body?  Do you frequently make negative statements about your body?  Are you constantly obsessing about what you look like?  Have you tried almost every fad diet?  If you have a negative body image and you are constantly criticizing your body, chances are great that your teen will begin to internalize those same feelings or will display similar actions.  It is important to model acceptance of your own body.

Works Cited:

Eisele, L., Hertsgaard, D., & Light, H. (1986).  Factor related to eating disorders in young adolescent girls.  Adolescence, 21, 283-290.

Fisher, M., Schneider, C., & Napolitano, B.  (1991).  Eating attitudes, health-risk behaviors, self-esteem, and anxiety among adolescent females in a suburban high school.  Journal of Adolescent Health, 12, 377-384.

Adolescence can be a particularly awkward stage for anyone.  But today’s adolescents face new pressures as a result of advances in technology and easier access to the media.  With a decrease in protective factors including a demise in family and community relationships and an increase in risk factors including the media barrage, advent of cyber bulling, and easy access to cigarettes, drugs, and weapons, contemporary society is becoming an increasingly more dangerous place for adolescents (LeCroy & Daley, 2001).

During adolescence, teens look to their friends for advice, acceptance, and a social outlet.  Female adolescents are affected in different ways when compared to males.  Females tend to develop same sexed friendships which are characterized by a greater degree of emotionality such as intimacy, validation and self-disclosure.  ‘Break-ups’ between female friends can be devastating and leave girls feeling vulnerable because girls can be vindictive, defacing each other with the personal information previously gained through self-disclosure.

Girls often look to external sources, such as the media, for validation and information concerning their role within society.  Girls need gender specific education because there are unique tasks that adolescent girls must master in order to transition successfully to adulthood.

To help promote the healthy psychological development of early adolescent girls in our contemporary society, this four-part blog series will discuss issues facing today’s female teens and will provide tips to help girls learn the skills they need to successfully meet societal demands.  Teens will benefit from this blog series because the information will help them gain a better sense of how they feel about themselves and their friends.  The blog series will also provide discussion points for parents to use with their daughters.

The following topics will be discussed:

Part I: Establishing an Acceptable Body Image

Part II: Developing a Positive Self Image

Part III: Developing Satisfying Peer Relationships

Make sure to check the Psychology of Teenagers blog for information and advice regarding these very important topics!

Works Cited:

LeCroy, C.W.,  & Daley, M.W.  (2001).  Empowering Adolescent Girls: Examining the present and building skills for the future with the go grrrls program.  New York: Norton Publishers.

Today is the last installment of my three part blog series in which I have been discussing trends in drug and alcohol use, prevalent among the teen population.  Today I will provide advice for discussing these serious issues with teens.

Talking with teens about drugs and alcohol is extremely important but it can also be a very difficult conversation to broach.  Just thinking about having a conversation with a teen about drugs and alcohol can be stressful, so below I have listed some advice to help ease the tension.

1. Begin Conversations at an Early Age:  It’s very important to start having conversations about drugs and alcohol at an early age.  It isn’t possible to control all factors in teens’ lives such as their choice of friends or what media messages they encounter.  As a result, you may not know when and what kinds of messages are being received by your teen.
   It’s important to proactively educate teens to the dangers associated with drugs and alcohol so that they are less inclined to be swayed by external sources, including friends and the media, when they do come in contact with these serious issues.
2. Have Multiple Talks: It’s important to begin conversations at an early age and to follow up your conversations because issues that teens face in regards to drugs and alcohol will change as they get older.  For example, peer pressure or the chance that they know a classmate who uses drugs tend to become more significant as teens get older.
3. Change the Way in which you Discuss Important Issues with children to meet their developmental needs:  For example, late elementary kids tend to think in concrete thoughts while teens are capable of processing more abstract thoughts.  A conversation with a 6^th grader may provide the child with concrete reasons as to why drugs are harmful followed by steps to take when confronted by peer pressure.  A conversation with a teen may focus on the effect of drugs and alcohol on academic success, the teen’s family, and future goals.
4. Look for Teachable Moments:  Instead of initiating your talks in the same manner, look for alternative ways to communicate your message.  For example, after watching a TV show involving drugs and alcohol, ask your teen his thoughts on how the main character’s life changed as a result of using drugs.  Or, perhaps you read an alarming statistic regarding teen drug use in the newspaper.  Use this statistic as a springboard into a discussion with your teen.
5. Be a Good Role Model:  Evaluate your relationship with drugs and alcohol and analyze your behavior through your teen’s eyes.  Do you smoke in front your child?  Do you come home after a stressful day and mix yourself a large rum and coke?  Do you frequently verbalize your need for alcohol?  It is important to provide consistency in terms of the messages that you directly and indirectly send your teen.

Unfortunately some teens do experiment with drugs and alcohol during their adolescence.  Instead of denying the fact that teens experiment with drugs and alcohol, it is important to become educated in regards to these current trends.

Today is the second installment of my three part blog series in which I discuss trends in drug and alcohol use, prevalent among the teen population.  I will also provide advice for discussing these serious issues with teens.

What is Spice?

In the mid 1990’s, John W. Huffman, a chemist at Clemson University, created synthetic marijuana in conjunction with his research surrounding the effects of marijuana on the brain’s receptors.  Also known as K2, JWH-018, or Spice Gold, Huffman’s creation affects the brain in a similar manner to its illegal cousin, marijuana, producing a very similar high.

Unlike marijuana, spice does not contain any illegal substances.  Marketed as potpourri or incense and with an appearance similar to dried herbs, spice is sold in small vials or packets with the words ‘not for human consumption’ inscribed in small print.  Despite the disclaimer on the label, teens are buying spice on the internet, at health stores, in smoke shops, and even in convenience stores for about $30 – $40 per three grams.

Why are Teens Attracted to Spice?

Teens are attracted to spice because it’s legal and easy to purchase.  Teens may feel that they can easily purchase spice, pass a drug test, get a high, and that they have done nothing wrong legally.

What are the Dangers?

Huffman indicated to Live Science that when compared to the main ingredient in marijuana (THC), the synthetic marijuana is about 10 times more active.  Spice’s deadly side effects may include the following: seizures, elevated heart rate, loss of consciousness, severe agitation, pale skin, and vomiting and can ultimately damage the central nervous system leading to respiratory failure and even death.

Although teens may think that because spice is legal (in some states) that it is safe.  However, the side effects experienced by those who smoke spice are similar to those who overdose on street drugs.  The long term effects of spice usage are unknown.

Is there any action being taken against Spice?

According to Fox news, Kansas was the first state to ban the substance and Georgia, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Alabama have followed suit.  Mississippi, Louisiana, Michigan, Illinois, Tennessee, North Dakota, Indiana, New Jersey, New York, and Utah are also considering passing similar laws due to increases in reported fatalities attributed to smoking spice.  Spice is illegal in many countries.

References Cited:

http://www.fox59.com/news/wxin-spice-death-080410,0,1021879.story

http://www.livescience.com/health/fake-marijuana-k2-hallucinations-100303.html

Unfortunately some teens do experiment with drugs and alcohol during their adolescence.  Instead of denying the fact that teens experiment with drugs and alcohol, it is important to become educated in regards to these current trends.

Today we begin a three part blog series in which I will discuss trends in drug and alcohol, use prevalent among the teen population.  I will also provide advice and discussion points to use when discussing these serious issues with teens.

What is Four Loko?

Four Loko is an alcoholic energy drink, named after its four main ingredients (taurine, guarana, alcohol, and caffeine).  Produced by Phusion Projects, the beverage is sold in 23.5 oz. aluminum cans and contains 12% alcohol.  Four Loko, also known as liquid crack, is sold in liquor stores and convenience stores that sell alcohol and is commonly found next to energy drinks such as Red Bull and Monster.

Clerks do not always realize that the beverage contains alcohol, making it easier for underage kids to purchase.

Why are teens attracted to Four Loko?

Four Loko looks and tastes like an energy drink.  Drinking one can of Four Loko has the same effects as drinking four bottles of beer, consuming the sugar found in one king sized Kit Kat chocolate bar, and drinking three 8 oz. cups of caffeinated coffee.  Cheaply sold for around $2.50 a can, vendors say that sales of Four Loko are on the rise and that the drink is very popular among the late night college crowd.

What are the dangers?

The alcoholic content in Four Loko can impair an individual’s senses, while the caffeine and sugar can over-stimulate the person.  In a study conducted by Dennis Thombe et. al. (2010), the researchers found that individuals who were over stimulated and intoxicated tended to feel alert, but not drunk, and were four times more likely to drive while intoxicated when compared to individuals who drank just alcohol.

It is possible that users feel ‘more in control’ due to the fact that caffeine can decrease the perception of feeling drunk as opposed to the actual impairment incurred from drinking alcohol.

Is there any action being taken against Four Loko?

According to the Huffington Post, the Washington state liquor control board is banning the sale of Four Loko and other beverages that combine beer, liquor, or malt beverages with caffeine, taurine, guarana, or other ingredients found in energy drinks.  The ban came into effect after nine under-aged  college students from Central Washington University were hospitalized after consuming Four Loko at an off campus party.  Other states are looking into implementing similar bans.

References Cited:

Dininny, S. (2010, November 10). Washington State Bans Four Loko. Huffington Post.  Retrieved from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/11/washington-four-loko_n_782031.html.

Thombs, D., O’Mara, R., Tsukamoto, M., Rossheim, M., Weiler, R., Merves, M., et al. (2010). Event-level analyses of energy drink consumption and alcohol intoxication in bar patrons. Addictive Behaviors, 35(4), 325-330.

Copyright Ann L. Naragon, Ph.D. 2010

According to Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, adolescence is a time in which teens are faced with identity issues and are constantly trying to figure out who they are.  During their teen years, adolescents begin to rely more heavily on their peers for acceptance.

Not only do peer groups provide teens with a sense of belonging, but peer groups also help answer questions relating to teens’ developing identities.  Due to the significant influence that friends have in each other’s lives, it is quite understandable how rifts between friends can be so catastrophic!

With constantly changing friend groups, alliances seem to shift more times in one school day than they do on one episode of the hit reality TV show Survivor.  In fact, when I work with teens I sometimes liken transitioning into middle school (or a new school) to starring in Survivor.

How are Middle School and Survivor Alike?

• Environment: Survivor contestants and students new to middle school are placed in foreign environments and are forced to interact with strangers.
• Grouping: Survivor contestants are grouped into tribes while middle school students are grouped into peer groups or cliques.
• Identity: Tribes can be distinguished from each other by distinct symbols and colors.  Teens from the same clique or peer group often dress in a similar manner by sporting the same fashion trends.
• Trust: Survivor contestants and middle school students must decide who they can trust and who can keep their secrets.
• Betrayal: Middle school students and Survivor contestants must identify individuals who could potentially use sensitive information to backstab, or a means to advance their own agendas.
• Competition: Both middle school students and Survivor contestants are placed in an environment in which they are competing against each other.  Cash is the primary motivator for survivor contestants whereas grades and/or advancement in social status are motivating factors for teens.
• Alliances: Survivor contestants form alliances and teens form friend groups.  Both alliances and peer groups are constantly changing.

So how can you help your teen survive middle school?  According to ehow, Survivor contestants that work hard, begin forming alliances early, think through their next moves, and are open to changing up alliances are ultimately the contestants that are most successful.  This logic can be applied to middle school to ensure a smoother transition for your teen.

• In terms of finding a peer group, be friendly to everyone.
• Never say anything about someone that you wouldn’t say directly to him or her.
• Give it time—it can definitely take some time to make good friends.
• Join activities which are of interest to you.  Breaking down the larger school community into a group will help you come in contact with peers who share a common interest.
• “Make new friends but keep thee old.” An old lyric states the importance of maintaining past friendships while also building new friendships.  It is important to invest time in preserving friendships from elementary school while you make new friends in middle school.

Welcome to the Psychology of Teenagers!

When I meet people for the first time and I’m asked what I do for a living, I typically reply, “I am an adolescent counselor” to which people all too frequently respond, “Are you nuts?!”

I wouldn’t describe myself as nuts (not just yet) and I find my work very rewarding, but working with teenagers tests your patience!

Teens often give off the impression that they are stressed, unsure of themselves, and frustrated.  But considering that they are dealing with drastically changing bodies in an increasingly technological society, it is understandable why adolescence is so awkward.

If you could relive any period in your life, what would it be?   You may choose your childhood, or maybe the first time you felt self-sufficient.  You may look back on your carefree college days and smile.  Perhaps you reminisce of the days when your adolescent children where once innocent little babies.

The fact of the matter is that virtually no one wants to relieve their teen years and for totally legitimate reasons!  Do you remember your awkward teen years?

• Acne
• Having a crush on a significant other but not knowing what to do
• Things getting stuck in your braces
• Feeling so self-conscious
• The thought of having to take a swimming class
• Boys to the left and girls to the right side of the gym during middle school dances, with a few ‘advanced’ girls and boys mingling in the center
• Fashion mishaps on a daily basis
• Having the best day and the worst day—all on the same day

A colleague of mine once told me that middle school is the range of strange.  As a professional working with teens, you see kids varying on a spectrum in regards to their physical, emotional, and social development.  In comparison to each other, teens drastically differ in terms of their intelligence, maturity, height, confidence, self-esteem, athleticism, awkwardness, etc.  It isn’t until their later high school years when teens’ development tends to plateau and less inter-peer differences are noticeable.

You may be a teenager.  You may have a teenager.  You may anticipate one day having a teenager or you may just be interested in learning more about teenagers.   So to help you better under the psychology of teenagers, in addition to helping you navigate through the range of the strange, I will be providing you with tips, stories, research, statistics, and yes humor to help make those teen years just a bit more enjoyable.

Copyright Ann L. Naragon, Ph.D. 2010

photo credit: sacha.frampton

• Academic concerns in middle and high school
• Motivation and procrastination
• Adolescents and relational aggression
• Social groups, peers and popularity
• Transitions in adolescence

Dr. Ann Naragon received her degree in educational psychology from Temple University and specializes in adolescent development, relational aggression, and achievement motivation. You can learn more about her here.