“Do not let your fears choose your destiny.” ~Unknown
Before making important business and life decisions, my former boss used to ask himself, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” This helped him become conscious of how fear could potentially hold him back from pursuing his dreams. He worked diligently to detach from fear and move forward in his life with courage. Twelve years later, he owns two very successful companies, kicked a bout of cancer in the ass, and is in the best shape of his life doing Ironman triathlons and such (raising thousands of dollars for cancer research.)
The lesson he taught me about fear has greatly benefited my own life as well as my ability to help my clients. I firmly believe in the law of attraction–that where we put our thoughts and energy often comes to fruition by way of self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e. if you think you won’t get the job, you won’t because you will self-sabotage.)
In my practice, I see how virtually everyone lets fear wedge itself between themselves and the lives they really want. We constrain our own lives via our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, egos, etc. Most of my job is coaching people on how to get out of their own way on the path to success.
After nearly 20 years of counseling professionals, I recommend the following:
- Recognize when FUD occurs. Whenever I get myself worked up into a ball of anxiety, my husband says, “It’s just FUD.” When this happens, the best thing to do is practice deep breathing, meditation or other mindfulness techniques that will help you focus on the present moment and detach from the fear of the unknown.
- Ask yourself, “What would I do if I were not afraid?” Consider not only the fear of failure, but the fear of success–both stem from identification with the ego and fear of loss. To work at detachment from ego, I highly recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
- Replace fear with SERENITY. When we detach from ego and mind-based identification, we connect with our essence, our deeper self from within. When we operate from our essence, we are living our lives in a way that is congruent with our highest self and are aligned with the greater flow of the world around us. For help with this process, I recommend A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
- Replace uncertainty with INTENTION. To live with intention is to act in the present moment in a way that is aligned with your highest aspirations and values. Select intentions that will make your greatest life vision your reality. To do this, I suggest reading The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer.
- Replace doubt with FAITH. Trust in yourself–replace self-doubt with self-esteem through therapy or coaching. Connect with your higher power (God, the universe, nature, etc.) through spiritual practices. Visualize breathing in positivity and breathing out negativity as often as possible.
Many people operate from a place of fear and doubt. Instead, choose LOVE and HOPE as your guides.
Twitter: @Joyce_Marter and @Urban_Balance
Facebook: Joyce Marter, LCPC and Urban Balance
Websites: www.joyce-marter.com and www.urbanbalance.com
Image: Riccardo Romano via Compfight
Last reviewed: 12 Jul 2013
Marter, J. (2013). Get the FUD Out! How to Release Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt. Psych Central.
Retrieved on March 4, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/success/2013/07/get-the-fud-out-release-fear-uncertainty-doubt/