The Invisible Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Best New Thing for Playful Subversives?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 1 min read

invisible240Have you heard about the new, hot things called The Invisible Boyfriend and The Invisible Girlfriend? It’s getting buzz all over the place. NPR explains that “Matthew Homann says he came up with the idea a few years ago, when he was newly single from a divorce and people wouldn’t stop asking him if he was seeing anyone.”

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Do Fretful Discussions about Living Alone Drive You Mad?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 4 min read

aloneinbed240It has been quite the week for angst about living alone. On the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy, aptly titled, “The bed’s too big without you,” the high-powered, ultra-talented female doctors were hanging around waiting for their printer to produce body parts when they launched into a discussion of how hard they found it not to have someone else in their bed. One after another, they moaned and decried the sadness of living alone, until, at last, the youngest of the group admitted that she loved having her bed to herself.

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Check Your Marital Privilege

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 4 min read

cats240[This article is co-authored – in alphabetical order – by Lisa Arnold, Rachel Buddeberg, Christina Campbell, and Bella DePaulo. We are cross-posting it on all of our blogs.]

“White privilege” and “male privilege” are familiar concepts in our cultural conversations. There is, however, another vast swath of unearned privileges that have gone largely unrecognized, even though they unfairly advantage about half of the adult population in the United States. We’re talking about marital privileges. People who marry enjoy social, cultural, economic, and political advantages that single people do not, simply because they are married.

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The Worst — and Best — of Valentine’s Day

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 1 min read

girlfriends2340It is that time of year when my inbox fills up with emails from people asking for favors. They want me to promote their products about dating and mating, and assume that because my blog and my books have “single” in the title, of course I would be interested in doing so. They’ve never read any of my work, nor that of any other person writing about single people in a way that is not saturated with singlism.

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Part 2: What’s Wrong with These Claims about Single People?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 2 min read

adultson240Let’s continue our discussion from the previous post. We’re critiquing the reasons offered to the New York Times for why, in some families, all of the grown children are single.

Here’s another quote from Helen Fisher. This time, she is talking about the parents of the grown children who said that they might miss having grandchildren in some ways, but really, it would not be so bad:

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What’s Wrong with These Claims about Single People? Part 1

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 2 min read

In my previous post, I invited readers here and elsewhere to talk back to claims made in the New York Times about why, in some families, all of the grown kids are single. Here I’ll share some of those insights, and tell you my own take. (You can find more discussion in the comments of that previous post and also here.)

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All the Grown Kids Are Single: It’s Not So Rare Anymore

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 2 min read

sisters240If you are a single person, you have some explaining to do. Other people, who do not even see themselves as insensitive clods, will ask you to defend your single status, when it would never in a million years occur to them to ask a married person to defend their married status.

Now, a growing number of single people can say something like this in response: Yes, I’m single. I always have been. What’s more, all of my siblings are single, too, and they always have been!

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Where Were You When You Realized You Love Your Single Life?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 1 min read

computer240It is something all single people have experienced. We are asked to answer some security questions to set up an account, only to find that a disproportionate number of those questions just assume that we are married. Amy Gutman, a facilitator of the OpEd Project, recently described an experience in which every one of the security questions made the Spouse Assumption. She wrote about it in “Singled Out: The Cultural Bias Against Single People,” for Boston’s NPR station, WBUR.

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Is That Really a Deficit — Or Just a Difference? Fair-Mindedness in Research and in Life

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 2 min read

strawsIn our everyday lives, we can be intensely aware of the ways we differ from other people. As observers, we cannot help but notice how some people differ from others. When those differences have the potential to be viewed negatively, we are confronted with one of the most fundamental issues in matters of fairness: Is the difference really a deficit, or is it just a difference?

Some of the most significant stories of social justice are those that succeed in achieving a widespread transformation in ways of thinking – from a prejudice that sees the difference as a deficit to a more fair-minded assessment of the difference as just that, a difference.

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5 Keys to Effective and Joyful Independent Parenting: Part 2 by Tricia Parker

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D • 5 min read

TriciaParker240[Bella’s intro: In the previous post, guest blogger Tricia Parker shared her difficult and painful experiences from when she first became an “independent parent.” Eventually, though, she learned quite a lot about how to be an independent parent in ways that were enriching to herself, her children, and other parents and their children. She shares this wisdom with us in Part 2 of her two-part article.]

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