Toward the end of her attention-grabbing cover story of the Atlantic magazine, Kate Bolick shares what she has discovered about the attractions of single life for women. Often single women have networks of close friends. They can balance autonomy and intimacy. They can even raise children.
But then she adds this parenthetical aside: “(Evidence suggests that American children who grow up amidst the disorder that is common to single-parent homes tend to struggle.)” At least she includes some qualifiers. She’s talking about American children, not all children. The kids “tend to” struggle; they don’t struggle mightily. Still, this sort of casual condemnation of millions of American children is not unusual – not even in an article that is in other ways very thoughtful about single life.
When I was writing Singled Out, I studied original research reports on lives of children from single-parent families and how they differed from those of children raised by two married parents. I continue to keep track of that research. Below is some of what I’ve learned from that research – conclusions that rarely get any play in the media. (Chapter 9 of Singled Out provides many more details and lots of references.)
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Very interesting and helpful information on an important topic. Since single parent households are becoming almost as common as traditional families, it is important that we understand them and how to help them.
Boyd Lemon-Author of “Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages,” a memoir of the author’s journey to understand his role in the destruction of his three marriages, helpful for anyone to deal with issues in their own relationships. Information, excerpts and reviews: http://www.BoydLemon-Writer.com.
“5.7% for the children of single mothers, compared to 4.5% for the children of married parents. That’s a difference of just a tad more than 1%.”
ACTUALLY, THAT’S A DIFFERENCE OF 26%. IN OTHER WORDS, ASSUMING THAT THE QUOTED DATA HAS ANY VALIDITY, CHILDREN OF SINGLE MOTHERS ARE 26% MORE LIKELY TO ABUSE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.
IN ANY CASE, THE POINT IS NOT TO EITHER CONDEMN OR ENDORSE SINGLE MOTHERHOOD, NOR TO WRITE OFF THE CHILDREN AS DOOMED. IT’S JUST THAT SINGLE MOTHERS, AND THEIR SUPPORT NETWORKS, NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE SOMEWHAT HIGHER LIKELIHOOD of substance abuse issues.
So if single mothers know the numbers about 5.7 vs 4.5, they will treat their kids differently? I hope what they would take from knowing the numbers is that all of the damning of the children of single parents is on very shaky grounds.
Re: the rate of adolescent abuse, ” 5.7% for the children of single mothers, compared to 4.5% for the children of married parents. That’s a difference of just a tad more than 1%.”
Stating it’s “just a tad more than 1%” implies little difference between the 2 groups, when there is actually a large difference between them (>20%).
If the rates had been 2% compared to 4%, you wouldn’t say there is a 2% difference, but rather twice as many children of singles compared to marrieds.
YOU might say that twice as many had problems, but _I_ would not. One of the points I am making here is that the pro-marriage types will make claims such as, “twice as many…” WITHOUT showing you the actual data. When people read “twice as many,” I bet my autographed Mickey Mantle baseball glove that they do not think the numbers are 2% and 4%. Readers should be able to see what the actual rates are, when they are available. That’s what I’m showing here.