Think you know what it means to live alone? Even if you are have your own personal experiences living solo, and know lots of other people who do, too, chances are that you have been misled by the media and other myth-makers about what solo life is really like.

The most significant, intensive, and far-reaching study of solo living is described in Eric Klinenberg’s book, Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone. Due out tomorrow (February 2, 2012), it is a thoughtful and engaging book, and I highly recommend that you read every word. Here, I’ve plucked out just a dozen of the many revelations about solo living that you can find in the book. Enjoy!

10 Comments to
Living Alone: 12 Things You Didn’t Know

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.

  1. Just ordered this book! Thanks for the recommendation, Bella. It looks like I might be “going solo” in the foreseeable future, and I’m looking forward to it. :)

  2. Great, Cult Slayer! Hope you enjoy it — both the book and the experience of going solo.

  3. I am on the edge of reason myself….it all depends on what i am going through at that time. Some days i wake up wanting marriage or a partner, other times, i am glad i roll over and nobody’s there. Especially if i have a bad nights sleep.

    I’ll keep you posted once i read the book!

    • Great — would love to hear what you think.

  4. It is interesting to ready this as I am in the process of reading the book Quiet, having to do with introverts and how they enjoy living alone, even though society often designates them as losers, loners, weird, and shy.
    I am curious and about this book and it is a must read for me. We shall see going solo as compared to being an introvert.

    • That’s really interesting. Last time I checked “Going Solo” on Amazon, it was paired with the Quiet book in their “buy these together” deal. I’m curious about the Quiet book, too, but don’t have it yet.

  5. I grew up in a chaotic / violent home … I prefer to live alone now … No unexpected “surprises” when I come through the door at the end of the day … Just peace, quiet & tranquility …

    • I also grew up in a violent, abusive home which is one reason I feel so comfortable living alone. When I come home, I know what I’m walking into; calm, peaceful quiet.

  6. You are in ‘super-drive” Dr. DePaulo. Tell it like it is!!!
    single by choice, child free living in rural Arkansas

  7. Just as this author has exposed in his brillant book –Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health By Glenn A. Gaesser PhD
    In Dr. DePaulo’s excellent article on the most recent book of Eric Klinenberg in this article –This Book Will Change Our Lives – The extraordinary rise and surprising appeal of living alone,( Published on February 1, 2012 by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. in Living Single), sheds some bright light on big fat lies we are all feed about being married or partnered is the only path to happiness.
    “The majority of people living on their own are between the ages of 35 and 65.” So true!!!
    “Most old people who live alone do not do so because they have no grown children or anyone else who cares about them. It is their preference.” True, again.” Excellent.
    “Living alone is a norm and not an oddity, and that’s something new in the world.” Excellent, and sooooo very, very true.’
    I am glad Eric Klinenberg has written this smart book. Dr. Oz: The Doctor TV show focus on the marriage (partnership) factor too much as an indicator for health, happiness and longevity for an individual. Hopefully someong will give Dr. Oz a copy of this book to read. I go further to say that Dr. Oz neglects the fact that single living persons can be happy, healthy and live a long life, also—NOT just married or partnered folks. I enjoy watching his show, but one has to be careful of the media’s health gurus.
    By the way……in case, ya’ll missed this one: (Feb. 2, 2012) Speaking of the Gathering Society, a few years ago Barb in Michigan started the group with the hopes of bringing women together to share knowledge of wild and edible plants, herbs, etc…we met a few times but the interest just wasn’t there. I breathed new life into the group at the end of last year, and we are going strong with 45 members from all over Michigan, northern Indiana, and Wasauksing First Nation in Ontario. One of our members actually drives 3 1/2 hours to come to our meetings! The Gathering Society is a multicultural, multigenerational circle of women who share knowledge of wild foods, herbal medicines, traditional ways, wild crafting, music, and so much more. My vision is to build bridges between our different cultures and deepen our connections to Mother Earth. Our membership is reflective of this vision…we have both Tribal and non-Tribal sisters, young and old, I could go on…it is a beautiful circle that is open to all women interested in sharing and learning in this kind of environment.
    single in rural Arkansas

  8. ‘See Magazine” loved the article — If you’re happy and you’re single, clap your hands!
    “embrace your life” that’s the key, you said. Thanks for a wonderfully written article, so timely and so very, very accurate, Dr. DePaulo.
    Single by choice and childfree in rural south central Arkansas

    PS: She has a nice address:
    Robyn T. Schmalenberger
    Warden, ND State Penitentiary -North Dakota State Penitentiary
    3100 Railroad Avenue
    PO Box 5521
    Bismarck, ND 58506-5521

  9. I am not only clapping my hands, I am stomping my feet to the beat of being single, I have embraced my own life decades ago. Case in point: 2012, Feb. Autumn Wonder: Kathy Rinearson’s By TRAVIS WHITEHEAD/ Valley Morning Star –With so much success and notoriety of her work, one would think that Rinearson has been painting her whole life. Not so. She began painting seriously only about eight years ago. “I taught elementary art for 35 years,” she said. “You know, you have your profession, you start your family and stuff so, I was a mom first and an art teacher second. And I had no time to paint.”
    Single in Arkansas

  10. Single, happy and clap your hands at any age, however, let’s not forget that there are a lot of singles in America’s prison system, case in point: “Women’s health care needs, always more prominent than those of young males, are also inadequately addressed in prisons. In addition to facing al the routine gynecological, reproductive, and nutritional issues of women who are not incarcerated, the overwhelming majority of women in prisons are survivors of violence and trauma. And more than 600 percent of incarcerated women are parents, who must deal as best they can with separation from their children and families, along with the depression, anxiety and low self-esteem that this entails. No surprisingly, incarcerated women suffer from serious mental illnesses at much higher rates than male inmates. As previously noted, many of today’s prison inmates will die in prison because their sentences exceed their life expectancies. The deplorable state of prison health care is one of the prime reasons a prison term leads to a lifetime of full or partial incapacitation, transforming a finite sentence of incarceration into a lifelong disabling condition.” (pg. 118-119) Ernest Drucker, an internationally recognized public health scholar , he persuasively demonstrates in his provocative new book, A Plague of Prisons the urgent need to reform our penal system. I agree.

    Single in rural Arkansas, with no regrets
    PS: There are lots of single women in prisons now, sadly!

  11. You actually make it seem really easy together with your presentation but I in finding this topic to be actually one thing that I believe I would never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and very broad for me. I am taking a look forward in your next submit, I’ll try to get the cling of it!

  12. Always remember that a great relationship involves three you, your date, and God

Join the Conversation!

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.

Post a Comment:


(Required, will be published)

(Required, but will not be published)

(Optional)

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Cameron: Many people could come up with movies that fit the bill. The beloved The Shawshank Redemption avoids the...
  • jakebraekes: Younger men living alone are “fine” usually because they are living the years of friends and...
  • Alan: I wonder if some of the older men have problems living alone because they were used to the traditional sex...
  • Dusty: I really hate the stupidity of: “a renter does not have property tax or maintenance.” Where does...
  • RachelAB: Thanks for posting this post, Bella, and thanks for articulating some of the reasons for not marrying...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!