As gays and lesbians score more and more victories in their quest for marriage equality, the arc of the moral universe is indeed bending more toward their vision of justice, but our culture is just getting more and more bland. When gays and lesbians want the same thing that many straight people seek, instead of pursuing a more imaginative and creative way of living and thinking, we are all stuck with a much more boring culture than we had before.
That’s the theme of Pamela Haag’s post at Big Think, “The Unqueered World: Take a Walk on the Mild Side.” Haag is sympathetic to the observation of filmmaker John Waters: “I thought the whole point of being gay was that you don’t have to get married, have kids, or join the army.”
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I think it’s important to point out that increasing acceptance of gay marriage is a sign of increasing acceptance of gays. Even if marriage is a conventional choice the fact that gays are more accepted in that role is a plus.
And I’d also point out that not all married people are boring and conventional, even if their choice is the expected one. I think we have to be careful about engaging in a zero-sum game…ie if being single is good then being married is bad.
In spite of this I actually agree that it’s important to have people who stand out, who take a different path. It’s a kind of leadership role, an explorer’s role, showing people other possibilities in life. It’s something that’s always interested me, and it’s a part (but only a part) of the reason I’m single at heart.