Psych Central


Maybe you have already heard about the essay, “The war on men,” that has kicked up a firestorm. I did not jump in right away on this. The essay, by Suzanne Venker, is just another variation of the “evil feminists” theme, articulated so ridiculously that it is a caricature of itself. I’ll share a few choice passages so you can judge for yourself. (You can also partake of Stephen Colbert’s parody – it is the opening segment of the November 28, 2012 show.)

Then I will get to the point that really did bother me – an outrageous, singlist reaction made by someone who is often a smart and witty commentator of the political and cultural scene.

8 Comments to
World’s Worst Reaction to War-on-Men Story

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  1. I can’t say I agree with you. While men who don’t want to marry aren’t losers (heck, i am a woman and I don’t want to either), men who claim that they don’t want it because “women aren’t women anymore” apparently because we are out of the 50′s, IMHO are.

  2. I thought the point of men not wanting to get married any more is because they want to be able to have sex with as many women as possible (because it’s in their DNA to not be tied down to one and “spread their seed”,) have no responsability for any children that produces, and hang out in their “wolf pack” of male friends who call women “females,” and discuss how “females” are a lesser creatures who should be making them sandwiches, but usually only out to put them in the “friend zone” instead of have sex with them. Hmmmm…. that’s just been my interaction with the anti-marriage crowd.

  3. The essay by Suzanne Venker is just the latest in a series of publications which focuses on the new “battle of the sexes,” most often at the expense of men. I’ve read (and often cursed at) many of them, written by an equal distribution of men and women. The basic premise is that women are moving ahead in the world in regard to careers, education, independence, and maturity, whereas men are becoming nothing but buffoons who play video games all day. Some of the points are valid, while others are just opinionated rants.

    The main problem with the topic is that it always comes back to marriage, regardless of the fact that there are many different social issues the authors could focus on. And rarely is the underlying notion that men should work harder simply to better themselves, but rather to become a more desirable mate for women. Selfishly, when I strive for achievements in life I do it for myself. Imagine the nerve! I’m also willing to take a lesser role in my career in favor of higher life satisfaction outside of work. If that keeps me single, well, I guess I won’t have to share my dessert with anyone.

    As for the comments by Ana Marie Cox, I actually got a good laugh out of them. Sure I’m the demographic she’s targeting, male and not looking to get married, but her viewpoint is so misguided that it’s just plain silly. Not all men who don’t want to get married are womanizing, dishonest jerks. Some of us simply seek more out of life than chasing women, sex, dating, and relationships. When I did want to get married back in my 20’s I encountered mostly women who wanted to put off marriage indefinitely for their own self-fulfillment and amusement. Even today, in my late 30’s, I’m far more likely to meet a woman who wants a one night stand rather than a serious relationship. I wouldn’t label them losers though; they simply make a choice that serves them best.

    Her insinuation that men who don’t want to get married also don’t respect women is foolish, as well as borderline offensive. I’m not sure the two have much to do with one another. If she has evidence that men who want to get married respect women more, and that the desire for marriage is a causal factor, I’d love to see it. I’m sure there are plenty of married men (and women) for whom respect for others is a lacking trait.

    If being happily single makes me a loser in the eyes of Ana Marie Cox, so be it. Somehow I’ll learn to live with that reality.

  4. I am older – in my mid-50′s – and have seen that women have changed. They are much more mean and cold. They want more material things and having fun ranks much higher than struggling through life raising a family and doing without. Who in their right mind would want to marry one?

  5. I watched the video and thought it was pretty clear that Ana Marie Cox’s “loser” label was not due to their not wanting to get married, but more for their reason for it. Bashir asked her explicitly, “loser, what do you mean by that” and she said “they have no respect for women.” This makes a world of difference.

  6. I have to agree with some of the other comments, it seems clear to me that Cox was calling men who demean women “losers”, not single men.
    I did find it interesting to hear a conservative criticize the alleged “war on men”. Usually I’ve heard conservative writers criticize single men and support negative stereotypes of them, shifting from their prior criticism of single women. I wonder if we’ll see more discussion of single men in elections in the near future.

  7. If you are looking for intelligent discussion , why are you looking at TV? Ana Marie is doing what she gets paid to do. And men who are intimidated by normal women are losers who need to deal with their own issues. And geeze, you sound defensive!

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