In my last post here, I critiqued a study published in the Harvard Business Review on the ever-popular topic of why fewer women than men reach the positions of greatest power in the workplace. My problem was that the article only addressed the experiences of married people, especially if they were married with children.
Around the same time, Harvard Magazine published the results of a study of their faculty members. Again, “work/life balance” was the topic. (I hate that phrase. Why can’t work be part of your life?) So in the survey, the faculty members were asked how many hours they spent working and how many they spent on household duties.
The December 2014 issue of the Harvard Business Review features an article that has already made the pages of the New York Times. Titled “Rethink what you ‘know’ about high-achieving women,” the piece presents the results of a survey of more than 25,000 graduates of Harvard Business School. The authors focused mostly on the MBAs between the ages of 26 and 67. They wanted to know if they could discover anything new about the gender gap in leadership.
Why do women end up rising to less impressive positions in the workplace than their male counterparts? It is happening even among the elite graduates of Harvard Business School. What’s that about?
[Bella’s intro: I am often contacted by people who would like me to publish their writing as a guest post. Usually, I have to think about it. Is the article really something that would interest “Single at Heart” readers? Is it smart enough? Fresh enough? Not so with today’s guest post. As soon as I read Beth O’Donnell’s witty essay, I knew I wanted to share it. It begins with Rush Limbaugh’s claim, “If single women vote Democrat, then Republicans would be wise to start a dating service.” You just know it is only going to get better after that, and it does! So, enjoy. And thanks, Beth!]
The Affordable Pair Act
Guest Post by Beth O’Donnell
Now that Election Day has come and gone, and we don’t have to bother our pretty little heads about voting and all that boring stuff, it’s time to explore new solutions to the pesky single woman problem.
In case any of us seriously considered it, Rush Limbaugh wants us to know Uncle Sam is not spousal material. Thankfully, Uncle Rush has an idea that singles, especially those of us over 40, might risk heart, head and even go to the polls to support: a GOP dating service. Get us married and get us off the dole. Brilliant!
The title of an intriguing new book, How to Be Alone (reviewed here at PsychCentral) gives away its goal. The author, Sara Maitland, is out to explain to you, in a smart, insightful, culturally and historically grounded way, how you can come to appreciate solitude, even if you are starting from a place of skepticism and fear.
Maitland is a true believer. Substantial stretches of the book are devoted to the rewards of solitude. She lives in part of Scotland where there is no cell phone service and neighbors are few and far between. If that’s all I knew about her, I would have guessed that she is someone who craved time to herself her entire life. But she isn’t. She’s a solitude convert, having come to the experience after growing up in a big family and then marrying and having kids of her own. She stepped into her post-divorce life with trepidation, but now relishes her time alone.
So I wonder: Can anyone come to love solitude? Should they try to, even if their initial reaction to the mere thought of spending time alone is repulsion?
In what may have been one of the sweetest psychology experiments of all time, participants were asked about their favorite comfort foods – and then they were given them, in ample quantities! The researchers weren’t just being sweet; they wanted to know just how comforting comfort foods really are.
Writing for the Atlantic, Lisa Johnson asked, “Am I not my brother’s keeper?” She didn’t just mean that metaphorically. Her brother has health problems and an intellectual disability. Again and again, she has left work early or otherwise rearranged her life to help him.
One of the supposed advantages of living with a spouse – or really, living with any other person or persons who want to live cooperatively and not just share the roof – is that you get to split up the many tasks of everyday life rather than doing them all yourself. I recently got an email from someone who asked, “How do you manage” when you are single and live alone? How do you deal with repairs, with computer problems, lifting heavy things, taking care of the car, and all the rest?
I admit it – I’m a lapsed Catholic. When I was a child, I was very serious about my Catholicism for a while. I tried to get an aunt who hadn’t been to Mass for a very long time to return to the fold and I used to have a May altar every year, with a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary and fresh flowers. I can hardly believe I’m admitting this.
My adulthood has been very different. I’ve had very little interest in religion, and I mostly pay attention only when single people get in touch to tell me their stories of feeling excluded or stigmatized by their own religions and places of worship. (Here’s an example.)
So I was surprised when the current Pope, Pope Francis, seemed so different from many of his predecessors. I like his humility, his greater openness toward gays and lesbians, and his relatively enlightened views on evolution. (The “relatively” qualifier is important; Francis is progressive and enlightened only in comparison to his predecessors and many other leaders in the Catholic church.)
The show debuted in 1966 and it was an inspiration. The lead actress received “bags and bags of fan mail that came in from women around the country.” I’m talking about That Girl, with Marlo Thomas starring as the single woman who moves to New York City to try to make it as an actress.
It is nearly a half-century later, and people are still marveling at what it achieved. Marlo Thomas recently discussed the show with Gloria Steinem. Here are some highlights.
There is probably no better representation of the diversity of people where you live than the people who get called for jury duty. In the past (at least in my experience), it was easier to wrangle your way out of this obligation, because someone from the courts called you, and all you had to do was come up with some great excuse for why you couldn’t show up. Now the process of getting out of it is more challenging, and you don’t even get out of it if you succeed – you just get deferred.