singlism Articles

Security Online: Do You Have to Be a Married Parent to Qualify?

Saturday, August 30th, 2014

shutterstock_176244674As we all do more and more of our banking and shopping and business online, a particular kind of question is becoming ubiquitous – the security question. These are questions presumably written so as to be relevant to the vast majority of the people who will be answering them. That makes them particularly interesting windows into the assumptions that are made about adult life.


Part 2 of ‘Othering’ People Who Are Single: Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank

Sunday, August 24th, 2014

gabriela_frank_headshot[From Bella: This is Part 2 from guest blogger Gabriela Denise Frank. Part 1 is here: Are You 'Other' If You Are Not a Mother? Part 1.]
Are You ‘Other’ If You Are Not a Mother? Part 2.
Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank
First, we must stop relegating single and childless women into a separate caste. (I hate to even write the word ‘childless’ as if this somehow means that’s we’re lacking, but what other word is there, child-free?) Point being, when half of females of child-bearing age today are actually childless, as the article states, we are no longer other. Yet, there is more.


Are You ‘Other’ If You Are Not a Mother? Part 1. Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

gabriela_frank_headshot[Bella's intro: In this first of a 2-part post, guest blogger Gabriela Denise Frank offers an enlightening, stereotype-smashing view of what it means to live alone. In this first part, she takes on the "othering" of people who do not fit into traditional categories, such as married mom. In the second, she offers suggestions for transcending the boxes popular culture tries to trap us in. Lots of travel and bold living is involved. I first came across Gabriela's insightful writing at her blog. Thanks, Gabriela, for sharing your smart perspective with us.]


Is Your Life Worth Less If You Are Single or Have No Kids?

Monday, August 11th, 2014

shutterstock_155613593I like to stay in touch with the latest news from groups that work for social justice. Color of Change is one such group. They do good work and I usually look forward to receiving their emails. However, shortly after that horrible incident in which a Black man was choked by police officers until he died, the email I received had this subject line:

Black husband and father choked to death by NYPD officers

 


Are the Upper Classes the Most Biased Against Single People?

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

shutterstock_120673879We don’t need to wonder whether single people are stereotyped. Years ago, my colleagues and I conducted a series of studies to see how people view single people. The results documented widespread singlism – people viewed singles more harshly than married people in many ways (for example, as less mature, more self-centered, more envious, and less well-adjusted). Both men and women perceived single people in more negative ways than they viewed married people. People who were in romantic relationships were critical of single people, but so were people who were not in such relationships.


What Really Happens at ‘The Great Love Debate’? Guest Post by Kim Calvert

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

calvert[Bella's intro: There are some events I would never want to attend, such as ones that pose the question, "Why is everyone still single," as if that's a bad thing. Fortunately, the wonderful Kim Calvert went to one iteration of "The Great Love Debate" so we don't have to. Even more fortunately, Kim brings her much more enlightened attitude to the task of reporting back to us. Thanks, Kim! Readers, you can find out more about Kim in the "About the Author" section at the end. And one more thing: If you want to know the real reasons for living single, check this out.]


She’s 90, Has Always Been Single, and Would Do It All Over Again

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

shutterstock_97588136Starting in the early 1800s, some of the young women in the Guangdong section of China made a most unusual decision – they committed to staying single for the rest of their lives. They are called zishunuself-combed women. When they left their parents’ home, it was to work, not marry.


How Living Alone Will Transform Men

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

shutterstock_103445315Writings about single life – both popular and academic – focus overwhelmingly on women. Because marriage, traditionally, is supposed to be more important to women than to men, in theory more central to their identities and their happiness, single life should be especially problematic for women. Research begs to disagree about the happiness presumption, but no matter. Angst-filled writings about women living single continue to proliferate.

Alongside the tired old tales of those “poor” single women is a counter-narrative. It is one of strength, fulfillment, and independence. That story is often told of single women who live alone.


Don’t Marry Yourself. Period. – Guest Post by Terri Trespicio

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

Terri Trespicio[Bella's intro: Probably about once a year, someone asks me what I think of the idea of marrying yourself. I've never written about the topic. Happily, the very insightful Terri Trespicio has some smart ideas on the matter, and I was delighted that she was willing to share them with "Single at Heart" readers. Thanks, Terri! By the way, Terri was featured on the cover of a Boston Magazine story, "Single by choice: Why more of us than ever before are happy to never get married."]


Kids of Same-Sex Couples Do Better; Therefore…

Friday, July 11th, 2014

shutterstock_1842365How many times have you read a story in the media claiming that the children of married parents do better than the children of single parents, and therefore people should get married before they have kids, or they should refrain from divorcing? The claim about the children of married parents doing better is often exaggerated, a misrepresentation of the actual findings, or just plain wrong, as I have shown repeatedly. Nonetheless, the myths continue to get perpetuated, along with the self-righteous advice.


 

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Recent Comments
  • Simone: There’s the judgment and ostracism of the single/without children women out there in the world, and...
  • Simone: Great article. Much needed. Thanks, Gabriela and Bella.
  • pj4101: Americans constantly rate things as worth more. Everything from cell phones to what age someone is. Why...
  • Mo: Hmmm…why mention that he was black?
  • Dee Dee: Thanks for explaining the data gathering methodology in the meta-analysis of the 18 studies. As a biological...
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