Archives for Media - Page 2
When my article, "Families of Choice Are Remaking America," was published at Nautilus, I was invited to answer some questions for the Nautilus blog. One of the questions was, "Has your personal experience informed or guided your research? How so?" It is a question that means something different now than it once did. There was a time when many researchers believed that their personal lives should be separate from their research lives, otherwise their objectivity would be compromised. Now, it seems silly to think that your own life experiences would not inform your research. What matters is meeting the highest scientific standards in designing and interpreting your research.
Whenever an important new book about single life is published, I like to pick out some important quotes or quips or facts to share. For example, one of my posts about Kate Bolick's Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own was "10 fun facts about spinsters" and one of the articles I wrote to mark the publication of Eric Klinenberg's Going Solo was "Living alone: 12 things you didn't know." Now, with the publication of Rebecca Traister's All the Single Ladies, here are some points from the book about what single life gives us and what it costs.
I just wrote a rave review that will be published here at Psych Central in the coming weeks. It begins like this: "Some books are not just books, they are events. Rebecca Traister's All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation is among them." For making a compelling case for single women's role in some of the most significant progressive achievements in the nation, Traister deserves all...
Way too many people are way too sure that if you are single, you are miserable and lonely and self-centered and bitter and envious of couples and all the rest. I know this not just from my own personal experience of living single all my life, but also from the research my colleagues and I conducted.
In my last post, I described the results of the latest Pew research report on the ways that older Americans are currently living. I was describing their choices to live alone or with others (as reported by Pew) and the many innovative ways they are finding to balance their desire for autonomy with their wish to have others they care about nearby (from my own research as described in How...
For many years, I have been trying to explain why you should not believe all those claims about how single people would be happier and healthier and all the rest, if only they would get married. My first book on singlehood, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, included my first in-depth explanation. But it did little to slow the flood...
Look at the quote I found in my Facebook feed: "Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can find your soulmate in a friendship, too." This sentiment contrasts love with friendship, as if love resides only in romantic relationships. That's what Westerners have come to think over the past decades. On weddings and on Valentine's Day, especially, this narrow vision of love gets sentimentalized and endlessly perpetrated. Such a small-minded conceptualization is unfair to love, which is a much broader, far-reaching, and more inclusive concept. In a popular version of how history unfolds, we often see ourselves as becoming more and more open-minded over time. But when it comes to love, the reverse is true. We've become more closed in our views.
Like I said in the title, I'm going to tell you about a really mean Valentine's Day story. But before I get there, I want to tell you a very uplifting story, based in findings from research, about single people and Valentine's Day. Here's the thing: the disparaging story I'm going to rip apart was a story about those very positive data on single people. The bigger point here is that this sort of sliming of single people happens all the time, and it can be triggered even by (or especially by) indications that single people are doing great. The rise of single people, especially happy single people, is a threat to the worldview that you have to be married to be happy, and that to get married is to become a better person than you were when you were single.
I have been writing about single people and single life for many years. During that time, I have probably written on just about every relevant topic (except dating and other attempts to become unsingle). I put together collections of links to articles about more than 30 different topics. You can find all of them here, or you can go directly to the particular topics that interest you by clicking the relevant links below.
[Bella's intro: It has always bothered me when people heap such high praise and applause on people who stay married for a long time when other significant relationships are not similarly valued. I wrote about one example of that here previously. Recently, in the Community of Single People, Kristin Noreen asked whether a lengthy marriage should qualify as an accomplishment. I thought Kristin's post was written in a careful and a compelling way. I liked it a lot. But it got a lot of push-back. I asked Kristin if she wanted to share her argument here, and respond to the reactions it elicited. Happily, she agreed. Thanks, Kristin!]