Archives for Marriage - Page 2

Love & Affection

My Single Life: What Hurt Wasn’t Loneliness, But Getting Left Out

So far as I can tell, one of the most-read articles I've ever written was "I've been single all my life. I rarely get lonely." I can't take credit for the idea of writing about my own (rare) experiences of loneliness. The editor of the Washington Post Solo-ish column suggested it.

Although I rarely experience the loneliness that other people expect to be a big part of single life, I have experienced painful moments that I do attribute to being single. Those moments are not about being lonely but being excluded.

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Marriage

Married People Really Are Better Off Than Singles in This One Way

Ever since I first started studying the scholarly research on marriage and single life, as well as doing my own research and writing, I have been railing about widespread but inaccurate beliefs. For example, I can assure you that research does not show that getting married makes people happier or healthier or more socially connected. I say this as someone who has published more than 100 scholarly articles and taught graduate courses in research methods for decades.

But getting married does typically give something important to people, and lots of it: Money. I'm not just talking about the obvious things, such as the economies of scale that people enjoy when they share a place and all of the expenses rather than covering them all themselves if they live alone.

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General

My Personal Life and My Research Life

When my article, "Families of Choice Are Remaking America," was published at Nautilus, I was invited to answer some questions for the Nautilus blog. One of the questions was, "Has your personal experience informed or guided your research? How so?"

It is a question that means something different now than it once did. There was a time when many researchers believed that their personal lives should be separate from their research lives, otherwise their objectivity would be compromised. Now, it seems silly to think that your own life experiences would not inform your research. What matters is meeting the highest scientific standards in designing and interpreting your research.

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How we live now

What Single Life Gives Us And What It Costs

Whenever an important new book about single life is published, I like to pick out some important quotes or quips or facts to share. For example, one of my posts about Kate Bolick's Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own was "10 fun facts about spinsters" and one of the articles I wrote to mark the publication of Eric Klinenberg's Going Solo was "Living alone: 12 things you didn't know." Now, with the publication of Rebecca Traister's All the Single Ladies, here are some points from the book about what single life gives us and what it costs.

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General

A Fabulous New Book, and ‘Singled Out,’ a Book that Made Many of the Same Important Points

I just wrote a rave review that will be published here at Psych Central in the coming weeks. It begins like this: "Some books are not just books, they are events. Rebecca Traister's All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation is among them." For making a compelling case for single women's role in some of the most significant progressive achievements in the nation, Traister deserves all...
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General

Are Friends the New Family?

As the number of single people continues to grow, many are worried. They fear that America is becoming a nation of isolates. In the US today, there are more households comprised of single people living alone than families of mom, dad, and the kids. Nuclear families, according to some worldviews, are the very foundation of civilization. Actually, they are not, and never have been; but still, the anxiety is rampant.

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General

Older People Living Alone: What’s the One Way Men Do Better than Women?

In my last post, I described the results of the latest Pew research report on the ways that older Americans are currently living. I was describing their choices to live alone or with others (as reported by Pew) and the many innovative ways they are finding to balance their desire for autonomy with their wish to have others they care about nearby (from my own research as described in How...
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