Archives for Marriage - Page 2
I am in awe of Olympic athletes. The commitment they show with their bruising training schedules is impressive. So is their stunning level of skill. On top of all that, the Olympic opportunity occurs just once every four years. The pressure once they get there seems almost unfathomable. The athletes who make it to the Olympics deserve to bask in their moment – especially (but not only) if they make it to the medals podium. The Olympic games, and the medals ceremonies, should be all about the athletes and their amazing achievements. But, of course, they are not. Matrimania – the over-the-top hyping of marriage, coupling, and weddings – is greedy. It saturates society, seeping into every nook and crevice. And now it has spoiled the Olympics, too.
Insights from Guest Blogger Professor Jaclyn Geller
Here’s something that is news to some of the smartest teachers and savviest students: Not everyone is interested in marriage or coupling or dating. Even those who eventually might be interested are not necessarily interested at the moment; maybe they have other more engaging or pressing concerns. I don’t think there is a lesson plan anywhere that incorporates this important truth. And I don’t think you will find it in any of the back-to-school advice articles that saturate the internet as the new school year draws near.
Perhaps no person anywhere has more responsibilities, more power, or more burdens than the President of the United States. Barack Obama gets precious little sleep. At the end of the day, when there are no more meetings on his calendar, when he’s already had dinner, and – except for the stack of briefing papers – his time is his own, what does he want to do with his time?
Most stereotypes of single people are negative. But there is one way single people are consistently viewed differently than married people that seems mostly positive: Single people – especially if they do not have children – are seen as more independent. In the workplace, when people think of singles as independent, they may also think something else: that single people with no children are not tied to a job the way that a breadwinning parent is. So, if something goes wrong at work, the single person can simply leave.
What do you think life is like for women who are in their mid-70s and have never married or had children? Do you think they are isolated and alone, poorly educated and just plain poor, unhealthy physically and mentally, needing more help than other women but giving less? That’s the stereotype, but a study of more than 10,000 Australian women of all marital and parental statuses shows that the reality is quite different.
The very wise and savvy advice columnist, Carolyn Hax, responded to a single person who was experiencing something all too commonplace in the lives of single people: Her friends were disappearing. Increasingly, the advice-seeker said, they have “different priorities.” My guess is that many of them were marrying and having children, though she didn’t say so explicitly. The person who wrote the letter was really missing her friends. She wanted that deep and enduring friendship connection again, not just quick catch-up events that happen less and less often. She asked Carolyn Hax if finding her “one true love” was the only answer.
What would happen if you invited single people to join an online community all about living single life fully, joyfully, and unapologetically, with no discussions whatsoever about dating or mating or other attempts to become unsingle? Would anyone even join? If people did join, would the group last? I issued just such an invitation a year ago (on July 9, 2015), right here at my “Single at Heart” blog.
The beginning of summer is just one of those times of year when it seems that everyone is celebrating. It is wedding season, so friends and family are celebrating their marriages (and, if you are old enough, the grown kids of your friends and family members are also celebrating). It is graduation season, so again, all the graduates you know (or parents of graduates) are celebrating, too. If you’ve never married or had kids, do you feel left out and a little down in the midst of all this merry-making? I think it depends a bit on what you wanted from your life. If you really wanted to marry, if you really wanted to have kids and celebrate all their accomplishments with them, then this season must really hurt.