Archives for General
[Bella’s intro: For decades, I have been yearning to find books about single people who live their lives fully and joyfully. Books that do not make some tired old romantic plot the centerpiece, but instead showcase the kinds of experiences that can make single life so meaningful and so fulfilling. Fiction would be great. Nonfiction, as in memoirs of real single people, maybe even better. Sadly, those kinds of books are hard to find. So it was a pleasant surprise to discover Edie Jarolim’s new memoir about her life as a writer, Getting Naked for Money: An Accidental Travel Writer Reveals All. I told the author that if an endorsement from me would ever be of value, she was free to use this: “Edie Jarolim is a single woman leading a rich, complicated, exasperating, inspiring, and adventurous life of a writer. Fortunately for all of us, her insights, wit, and story-telling skills are superb. More, please!”
Do you have people in your life who feel like family even though you are not related them through legal or biological ties? Do you also have ties with biological or legal family members, such as parents, grandparents, children, a spouse, in-laws, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and other family members? If you answered yes to both questions, then the next question is: How do your two kinds of families relate to each other? Is there one best way for them to relate to each other – the way you should aspire to achieve?
In 1960, more than a half-century ago, only 8 percent of all children lived only with their mother. By 2016, that number had surged to 23 percent. That’s one of the most striking differences in how children are living, according to a new report from the Census Bureau.
Everywhere I go, it seems, people want to talk about the election. I know lots of centered, secure people, but these days, when the topic turns to the election, they all seem anxious. The American Psychological Association must have noticed the same thing because they commissioned the Harris Poll to conduct an online survey on the topic. More than 3,500 adults participated, either in English or Spanish. It was a diverse sample.
I like the smell of smoke. Here in southern California, when that distinct scent wafts through my windows and doors, it usually means that one of my neighbors is grilling on their deck. A few nights ago, though, the smell of smoke just kept getting stronger and stronger.
There was a time when schizophrenia was blamed on bad mothering (“schizophrenogenic mother”), when some believed that racial differences in I.Q. were entirely genetic, and when it was almost unheard of to use studies of twins as a way of understanding profound questions about nature and nurture. All that and more changed significantly, thanks in large part to the career contributions of the brilliant scholar, Irving Gottesman. When he died on June 29, 2016, the mark he made on the fields of psychology and psychiatry merited a lengthy obituary in the New York Times.
[Bella’s intro: There are so many things wrong with the scare story served up to single people about how they will die alone. But that particular threat seems to have some real staying power, so it needs to be challenged over and over again. Someone I have long admired wrote a particularly insightful challenge and gave me permission to share it with you here. She does not want me to use her name, so I’m going to refer to her as ‘Think Again.” Today marks the beginning of Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and this thoughtful essay is a great way to get it started.]
The third full week of September, September 18-24, is National Singles Week (more formally known as Unmarried and Single Americans Week). In some ways, this has been a good year for insightful and enlightening stories about single people. In fact, just yesterday (September 17, 2016), Fusion published “Meet the people who want to be single forever.” Earlier, New York magazine gave us “The new science of single people” and a story in the Huffington Post, “Research says single people – wait for it – live rich, meaningful lives,” was shared on Facebook more than 50,000 times. Over at the TED blog, readers learned about “The price of being single.”
A professor of philosophy looked into the lives of the most influential philosophers in history, and found that many of them had something in common. He sees their commonality as a problem that cries out for a solution.
I wish I could say that it is hard to find examples of singlism – the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against single people. Unfortunately, singlism is relentless. It ranges from the subtle to the shocking. And it is often practiced unselfconsciously even by respected intellectuals and ordinary people who pride themselves on being open-minded and totally untainted by prejudice.