One of the articles I wrote for this blog that really seemed to resonate with readers was “What’s really difficult about turning 30: It’s harder to make friends.” The topic of making friends is one that I seem to cycle back to on a semi-regular basis, often because readers ask me to talk about it. (Some of my previous posts are here, here, here, here, and here.)

Someone who has been thinking, writing, and talking about friendship for quite some time is Irene Levine, sometimes known as The Friendship Doctor. Recently, Dr. Levine shared with Marlo Thomas her “12 tips for making new friends at any age.” You can click on the link to read all of them. Here, I want to share a few of my favorites.

Follow the money. That’s what we are told to do when we want to know what’s really going on. As wedding and prom season approaches, let’s look at the money trail of those events.

Suppose you are simply going to attend a wedding this year. What will that cost you? Business Insider claims the average is $539, up an astounding 59% in just one year. You will probably spend more than $100 just on gifts. Often hotel stays are involved, as well as transportation costs. Don’t forget the price of dining during your travels. Then there are the clothes, shoes, and bling.

You probably don’t need a scientific study to tell you that having a demanding, critical spouse or family member is not good for your mental health. Nonetheless, there have been studies just like that; they show that the short-term implications of negative relationships are bad. What is new about a just-published study is that it documented effects that were still evident a decade later.

When looking for a job, some people have a goal that is especially important to them – making as much money as possible. Suppose you found that one particular group of people generally ranked that goal as more important than another group did. How would you interpret that finding?

Anyone can offer advice for living the good life – no qualifications are necessary – and many people do. Those who have gotten the most attention lately include Sheryl Sandburg with her book, Lean In, the haughty Princeton mother telling the undergraduate women at her alma mater to grab a Princeton man while the grabbing is good, Ann Marie Slaughter telling women they actually can’t have it all, and now Elsa Walsh in the Washington Post, telling women to settle for a good-enough life.

What is striking about all of these offerings is just how stunningly limited the components of a good life seem to be, in the eyes of these self-appointed sages. The conversation is all about three domains: work, marriage, and children.

I’m not against taxes. There is so much that can be done with taxes that individuals could never accomplish on their own. Taxes are good for education, health, safety, safety nets, infrastructure, communications, transportation, and much more.

What I am against is the unfair and disproportionate taxation of single people. Today, I am joining with dozens of bloggers to dispel the misconception that single people do not pay their fair share. In fact, as the Onely bloggers showed in their article in the Atlantic (discussed here and here), the cost of single life can be staggering. Singles pay the price not just in income taxes, but in at least 18 additional ways.

Stories with titles such as “10 things never to say to singles” always catch my eye. The latest was originally written for Women’s Day and reposted on Shine at Yahoo. It was offered as a bit of advice to people tempted to offer their unsolicited suggestions to their single friends.

First, I’ll list the 10 things, without any of the commentary from the article, so you can generate your own critique.

[Bella’s intro: When I learned about Heather Steil’s writings about her experiences as a single woman in the Foreign Service, I immediately wanted to share her thoughts with Single-at-Heart readers. I was delighted when Heather agreed to write this guest post from Kabul, Afghanistan. Thank-you, Heather!]

I’m all for the arc of the moral universe bending toward justice. Society should constantly move toward greater inclusiveness and more fairness. The current debates that have reached the Supreme Court, though, ask a question that is too narrow and too timid. We should not be asking, “Why should you have to be a particular kind of couple – one man and one woman – in order to qualify for all of the benefits, protections, and privileges of marriage (as well as the official designation)?” Instead, we should be asking, “Why should you have to be any kind of couple at all?”

In 2011, a group of authors analyzed the results of 18 long-term studies of the implications of getting married for happiness. They wanted to know whether getting married makes people lastingly happier. The answer was no.

I described those findings in detail here, so I’ll just offer a brief overview before telling you about how social scientists tried to salvage the case for marriage in a subsequent paper.