If living single is your first choice, if it is how you live your most authentic and meaningful life, you are probably single at heart. People who are single-at-heart are not single because they have not found The One, because they are unlucky in love, or because they have issues. They are single because single suits them. It is who they really are.
You may be single-at-heart even if you are in a long-term romantic relationship, and even if you are married. Maybe you got into the relationship because it was what you thought you were supposed to do. (Who ever heard of single-at-heart anyway? It is just recently getting recognition.) Or maybe there is enough about your relationship that you find truly appealing, and yet you have your single-at-heart inclinations at the same time.
My New Year’s wish for the single-at-heart is that you can live your best life, without apology. If living single is not feasible for you, for whatever reason, then I hope you can find ways to nurture your single-at-heart self, whatever your relationship status.
From the responses of people who have already completed the single-at-heart survey (and they are not a representative sample, just those who learned about the survey and decided to log on and answer the questions), I have already learned some interesting things about the characteristics of people who see themselves as single-at-heart. Not all single-at-heart types share all of these interests and qualities, but if you are single-at-heart, you will see yourself in at least some of them.
Characteristics of People Who are Single-at-Heart (based on first 1,200 survey responses):
Tips for Being Your Best Single-at-Heart Self
If you recognize yourself in some of the characteristics listed above, then do what you can to be your best single-at-heart self. For example, you can give yourself the gift of solitude. Allow yourself the time and space that you crave. You will benefit from that alone-time (psychologically, emotionally, creatively), and if you get your required dosage, I bet the people around you will benefit, too.
If you like being self-sufficient, then go for it. Self-sufficiency does not necessarily imply a lack of interest in different perspectives or opinions. Instead, I think it means that after considering whatever input you find valuable, you ultimately make the decision that feels right to you.
If you are not interested in pursuing long-term romantic relationships, then don’t. Never mind that other people will be incredulous when you say that you like your single life. Never mind the naysayers who will insist that you are just in denial or whatever other psychobabble they offer up. Part of owning your single-at-heart status is being true to yourself.
You are not living the life that other people want you to live or that conventional wisdom dictates. You are living your own life. What could be better than that for 2013 or any year?
Woman at the park photo available from Shutterstock
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From Psych Central's website:
The Single-at-Heart: Beacons of Innovation in a Blandly Married World? | Single at Heart (February 2, 2013)
Last reviewed: 31 Dec 2012