Single by Choice: A High-Profile Celebration
That’s the caption to the picture illustrating an article I’ve been fantasizing about for more than a decade. Finally, someone has actually written it. The article is the cover story of the most recent issue of Boston Magazine, “Single by choice: Why more of us than ever before are happy to never get married.”
Reporter Janelle Nanos nails it about what living single means to those who choose that life. She debunks stereotypes, highlights all the matrimania and singlism, and shows how and why there are more and more people living their single lives fully, joyfully, and without apology.
How’s this for a story of astounding singlism in the workplace? It is from Eva, who works in finance in Boston, and whose boss recently presented Christmas gifts to his employees:
“After he handed out a bottle of wine to every other employee in her department, Eva unwrapped a small bar of soap with a cat sticker on it, and an accompanying mug that said, ‘Everything Tastes Better with Cat Hair in It.’”
Probably my favorite quote in the story is about Trish, a 74-year old who has always been single:
“She’s been in long-term relationships, and once thought about getting married, but decided to go to Nigeria instead.”
Readers of this “Single at Heart” blog may be especially interested to know that Janelle Nanos describes the “single at heart” concept in her story. She also mentions the Singled Out and Singlism books. She credits the Alternatives to Marriage Project for their important advocacy work, and points to findings from the Sloan Work and Family Research Network about singles in the workplace.
The Boston Magazine story underscores the significant demographic facts – single people, and 1-person households, are on the rise. Then, rather than taking the usual turn of tut-tutting that outcome, Nanos points to Pew project data showing the large percentage of people who want to be single.
Nanos interviews modern-day spinsters – really, women who spin – who are proud of their passions, and she lets us in on a wonderful historical nugget: Originally, “spinster” was a term of honor. It referred to women who supported themselves by spinning wool and “were celebrated for their unwillingness to compromise their moral standards for the sake of a relationship.”
Read the story, and you will get a sneak preview of some important, soon-to-be-published books that will continue the theme of the strengths and social connections and joys of people who are single. I’ll be blogging about those when they are published, too.
I hope you enjoy the story as much as I did, and I hope that 2012 is off to a great start for all of you!
DePaulo, B. (2012). Single by Choice: A High-Profile Celebration. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 3, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/single-at-heart/2012/01/single-by-choice-a-high-profile-celebration/